I am the cause of the Recession
Grandad February 17th, 2009
I received a letter this morning.
It was from The Revenue Commissioners.
I won’t bother typing out the whole thing, but the gist of it is as follows:
Dear Grandad,
We notice from our records that you never filed a tax return for the year 2007.
If you do not send us a HUGE cheque immediately, we will drill your body full of holes and fill them with nitric acid.
We will then proceed to torture all members of your family, including pets.
Finally we will load you with such big penalties that you will have to spend the next three hundred years paying them off.
So pay up, you smarmy little fuck.
Yours faithfully
This annoyed me a bit.
That fucker Biffo is so desperate for cash he’s trying to bill me twice. I sent them a tenner last year. I wrote about it, so that is conclusive proof that I paid, and it will stand up in any court.
I phoned them.
I explained that they were bitching about a sum of money that Biffo would “earn” in about a tenth of a second.
They went through my records and came up with a little surprise.
They owe me money.
In fact, they owe me a lot of money.
That’ll teach those bastards in the government not to be so greedy.
- Rambles
- Comments(17)
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Congratulations!
Hopefully they won’t deduct the cost of the first letter and its postage, plus processing fees. With these people in charge, you never know.
I had the exact same thing.
Fuckers.
Grandad,
You’re luck they answer your correspondence at all – they ignore mine.
I’ve twice sent them back a cheque they shouldn’t have sent me, knowing that if I cash it and they then realise I shouldn’t have got it they probably charge me penalties
I asked about them holding back a sum of money they owed me. It turned out I was right, and eventually I got the letter telling me I was in credit to the princely sum of 6 cents.
Susan – Not only are they not charging me for the post, I’m charging them. Good old Freepost!
Maxi – They really must be getting despert. Surely you can spare a few billion to help out the cause?
Ian – They don’t ignore my letters – they read them, cash the cheque and then deny having received them! Now I have to prove to them that I wrote in the first place.
Red – Rebate = 6c. Cost of stamp = ? I love bureaucracy!
woo hoo at last a man who tells it like it is. Nice one granddad.
Think we’re all going to be paying a lot more in taxes in a while. all in the national interest of course!
Oh no – not another refund due. Can’t you forfeit it GD, for the sake of your country…[ducks]
Vicky – I always tell it like it is. That’s my problem.
Le Craic – I did contemplate selling all my assets and donating everything to the government. A micro-second later I decided fuck that.
Milton – There are two chances of my forfeiting it. I am going to follow my government like a true patriot, and screw the country for every cent I can get.
I bet option b!
Ignore it. It’s just a publicity scam. I get spam email all the time from a corrupt African government looking for “donations” and promising enormous opportunities in return. I follow advice and delete immediately lest they think you’re a real person.
Ignore the refund – they will ask for your bank details. They don’t refund in Kruggarands – yet.
SHoop – This was different. It was a letter from a corrupt Irish government. They are easier to fool.
Ok, spill – how on earth do you find yourself in a position of being owed money by the Gov. Surely thats impossible,isnt it? Isnt it?
Heh. Do you get to charge them interest for late payment??
Charmed – It’s something to do with overpayment or preliminary tax or some such. I don’t know anything about these things.
E Mum – I might do? would 50% A.P.R. be enough do you think?
Seems perfectly fair to me…