Getting to know Irena

Grandad April 4th, 2009

Hello.

Please, do not be surprise – this letter is not a spam one. [Oh, yes it is]

You will probably be amazed of the fact that I am writing you an e-mail. [not really] Yesterday I myself was amazed too, when saw your letter in my e-mail box. The letter was about love and sensations among people. [No. Actually it was about sex] The motto of the letter was like this «search for love and you’ll become happy». I liked this letter very much. There was a list of e-mails where I found yours. I decided to write you. Maybe you are seeking love too? [Yes, if you are talking about a bit of the other] Maybe it’s our destiny?

I do not know actually who was the person that had sent me that e-mail and how did he get my e-mail address.

I think it is not important. The most amazing thing is that I can write you. I would like to know more about you. [Eight inches, though I say so myself] Providing that it is me who is the first to write, I want to say some words of my personality. [Fire away]

My name is Irina. I am 30 years old. I have never been married and have no children. [Frigid or ugly?]

I am cute, calm, kind and sociable. [So far, so good]

I think it is interesting to talk with you and discover new features of yours… [There is only one feature that matters] Discover you as a person. I am a serious woman and I am looking for serious relations. [Fuck! We were doing well up to now] For me it means no deception, no double jokes. [Bollox!] I am looking for a real person who will manage to love and respect me. I hope you are searching for your love, too. [I’m trying to avoid her at the moment]

I do not think that in love-relations age and appearance have any importance. The chief factor for me is ability to love and respect seriously! [I am very serious about my rumpy pumpy]

I have lots of hobbies and interests in life. Among them you will find sport, [Oh shit! No.] cooking, books reading and definitely music. I am going crazy about housekeeping and house holding. [You can hold my house any time, Baby] I like tiding up [I have never tried that?] and general cleaning. I am keen on experimenting in my kitchen. [Yes!! Over the kitchen sink is nice.] I love changes. [Have you ever tried it on a combine harvester? Brilliant!]

I am fond of animals and prefer to lead a healthy lifestyle, thus, I do not smoke or use alcohol. [But surely you have a cigarette afterwards?]

Hey, my new pen-friend. What can you tell me about yourself? I want to learn more about you. [I told you – eight inches. But by now it’s nearer twelve.]

In my future letter I will describe my character and my personality more precisely. [Ah! Who gives a fuck about them?]

Definitely, I will send you some of my photographs. It will help you to understand who I am and where I live. My photos will reveal all parts of my life [Make that ‘body’, if you please] – my happiness, my pensiveness and sometimes melancholy.

Please reply only to my personal e-mail

I am looking forward to your reply. I am really interested in knowing you better. [You shall ‘know’ me intimately]

Remember of me.
Your new friend,
Irina.

Irina
Holy FUCK!!!!

Geronimo!!!!

spam
Comments(0)

No Responses to “Getting to know Irena”

# Ian on 04 Apr 2009 at 2:06 pm

She sounds very similar to Svetlana who was sending out such emails twelve year ago and who I am convinced is now on Twitter
# Grandad on 04 Apr 2009 at 3:59 pm

But Svetlana never looked like that! Irena can Twitter me anytime.
# stipes on 04 Apr 2009 at 5:24 pm

Svetlana and Irina, a mother and daughter combo.
You’re a lucky bastard, Grandad
# Robert Whalen Gately on 04 Apr 2009 at 7:07 pm

Come on GrandDad, this honey just wants your Love and credit card digit…Your Six Inch Solution may not meat her expectations…But, a fool and his money are soon partying so carry on in disbelief….An ah, Ian, 12 years and now a Twitter-er….Me thinks there may be an Etheopian behind her
advances….Remember, Gerenamo was a Arizona indian who took scalps…
# Maxi Cane on 04 Apr 2009 at 9:22 pm

Sucker, that was me.

I scrub up well, don’t I?
# Baino on 04 Apr 2009 at 10:14 pm

Haha . .dont wanna burst your bubble but she’s bisexual and has been writing to me on a regular basis . . .I’d almost turn gay for her frankly but two women in the kitchen is one too many!
# Grandad on 05 Apr 2009 at 1:02 am

Stipes – I like my Russian Sandwiches!!

RWG – That lass can have my final digit any time.

Maxi – You do indeed. Are you free tomorrow night?
# Maxi Cane on 05 Apr 2009 at 1:04 am

I am indeed, but I’m not big on beard burn.
# Grandad on 05 Apr 2009 at 1:11 am

Maxi – Nor am I. Could you please have a full Brazilian first?
# English Mum on 05 Apr 2009 at 12:32 pm

Be careful with Maxi, GD, his equipment’s a bit delicate at the mo’
# Maxi Cane on 05 Apr 2009 at 2:12 pm

I could have a brazilian, but that would just reveal the rash and bilsters.

English mum:
My equipment is always delicate. Like a petal.
# Grandad on 05 Apr 2009 at 11:34 pm

Baino – Bisexual? Who cares? She can bring her girlfriend along too [as along as she is bisexual as well].

E Mum – And like a petal, Maxi’s is always falling off.
# hans on 19 Apr 2009 at 1:28 pm

lol, i reveived the same letter today.. and it it only hours ago i added my mail on twitter.. lol…. i will write back and here when her mother is dying and she cant affort hostpital or funeral..
# Grandad on 19 Apr 2009 at 1:39 pm

So the filthy bitch is being unfaithful already? Slut!!