My new invention
Grandad April 11th, 2009
There are some things I like in life, and sometimes those things are mutually exclusive.
I like my wooden furniture, and in particular a set of nested tables that I use in the sitting room.
I also like my Minnie.
I don’t like keeping Minnie cooped up in her cage as it isn’t fair on her. I like to give her the run of the floor whenever I can, so that she can stretch her little legs and annoy Sandy.
She is a rather fat little bugger at this stage, as she never stops eating. I maybe should have called her Harney, but she is nice to look at, has a very sweet personality and would definitely make a hell of a better fist at running the health service, so she shall remain a Minnie.
Despite being well fed, she is constantly on the lookout for new culinary experiences, and this is where the wooden tables and the exclusivity come in.
She has taken to chewing the legs of the tables.
So now I have a problem. Do I remove the tables, which I like, or do I ban Minnie from the floor?
I didn’t want to do either, so that called for a bit of lateral thinking, and a couple of empty water bottles.
It works. In fact, it works brilliantly.
I’m thinking of taking out a patent and getting the population of China to mass produce the things.
This could be worth millions, nay billions. Fuck it. Trillions.
I’m made.
What do you think?
- Around the house
- Comments(26)
Subscribe to audio
Very smart, Grandad! The ould noggin is still ticking away good-o and churning out ideas…
As with all good ideas though, chances are someone’s thought of it before… still … patenting might be worth a try,- you never know
Welcome Niall! I do surprise myself sometimes with my genius. I don’t really need trillions anyway, so I may just do a Tim Berners Lee on it and let the world have it gratis?
It’s definitely an idea worth chewing on…
Hiya JL. All bad puns aside, she does actually love chewing on the plastic. It makes one hell of a racket. So much so that I’m thinking of taking the yokes off again, as chewing table legs is quieter.
Genuinely impressed by the simplicity…
Actually, I thought it was a pretty good pun if I do say so myself
OK. It was a good pun.
A single pellet of “Rat-be-gone” would sort out all table chewing problems and I’m pretty sure they mass produce that in China.
Let me just tell you where I am, I’m out.
Wow that’s impressive. When my Mum’s dog was a puppy, she chewed all the handles off the kitchen cupboards so she painted them all with chilli sauce. Next morning, there were no handles left at all.
You still haven’t taken me up on the guinea pig recipe I notice…
Maxi – You remind me of the bad old days with K8….
“Where are you going?”
“OUT!”
E Mum – Remind me – Are you providing me with a recipe or do you want my favourite?
Recycling at its finest! There should be some sort government incentive for such things…
and probably is, from more civilise governments than ours.
Bravo, anyhow–good luck on patenting the Chew-be-Gones or whatever they are.
Isn’t the chewing something do with stopping their teeth growing too long? If it can’t chew the table legs, will that not be detrimental to its health? Or is it some other animal that has to keep chewing things?
Ian – This is where my utter genius strikes again. She has a log off-cut that has a few twigs and small branches sticking out of it. I place it on the floor and she gnaws away quite happily on it.
And just think, you probably now qualify for money from the US stimulus package and all of your R&D can be paid for and you can now hire the Chinese as well. God you are amazing! How much do you think the US will send you???
Just kill the bloody rat and be done with it!
XBox when u say you’re impressed by the simplicity I hope you’re not referring to our Grandad’s mental state!!
By the way Grandad great idea…necessity being the mother etc
John O – I have already written to Obama on Twitter. He has promised billions, but he didn’t say how many. I think he’s desparate.
Brianf – I knew you wouldn’t let me down!!
King’s Bard – I did wonder about that comment as well, but decided to let it pass. Someone of my supreme intellectual abilities can afford to ignore these things.
I’m hurt… I was simply praising the idea. Simple ones being the best et al?
How about some barbed wire – she probably wouldn’t chew on that so much
You may have an aesthetics problem though, not sure it would fit in with your decor.
Ah, I’m reassured. I wouldn’t like poor Minnie to develop a Goofy look. With the leaks caused through your building work and logs to chew, you should be well set to host a colony of beavers when the sea levels rise.
Xbox – Ah don’t be like that! I think the Michael is being taken somewhere?
Toy Man – Welcome! I’m not sure about the barbed wire. I had to remove several cactii that she took a great fancy to.
Ian – I must throw her in the lake a few times to see if she can swim?
Fantastic idea Grandad…….I really think you should apply for the next Irish series of Dragons’ Den.
Can I also suggest that you add water to the bottles which would allow one to place plants/flowers inside.
Therefore you could have the dual effect of hiding the wood from the guinea pig but also intoducing a new decorative touch to furniture that may not have been tried before!
Brilliant idea Grandad but maybe juice cans instead of plastic.
You could have got four bottles that MATCHED!
Well, I was just going to suggest giving her a big stick of her own, but u already have done that I see.We don’t have nesting tables but that one of yours looks just like ours(we,however,have no gnaw marks)If your wife can stand looking at the plastic then there’s no problem. I wouldn’t hold out much hope for future income from it tho.Minnie is darling, and what a cute story at easter time.
The Blind Man – Maybe I should just put water in the bottles and let the table legs grow?
June – Juice cans? Surely you mean Guinness cans?
Baino – You got trapped in spam again!! *heh* It’s a prototype, for God’s sake. Stop being so picky.
Sandra – They’re hand made Irish tables. If you think that’s cute, I hope you didn’t read what I wrote today, Monday!!!!