Google Book Settlement
Grandad April 23rd, 2009
For a week or so, I have been considering suing Google.
Yesterday, I decided to go ahead and started making out my case.
My case is very simple – they have gone and photographed my house again, and once again they didn’t warn me beforehand. As a result, the lawn looks shabby; my special crop of tobacco is there for all to see and worst of all, Herself had just hung her knickers out to dry. So I am suing them for breach of privacy and publication of obscene material.
Imaging my surprise then when I got a letter in the post, giving me the latest progress on my class action against Google.
I know that a class action is when a lot of people gang up together to sue someone for a common complaint. I have seen ‘Erin Brockovich’. So had my neighbours all been complaining about the knickers too? I can’t say I would blame them. It is a pretty horrendous sight.
But it transpired that this class action was over Google robbing the contents of books and publishing copyright material on the Interweb. So apparently myself and Stephen King and a few other of the lads were bringing Google to court. Nice one.
I rang the people who sent me the letter to ask when I was getting my millions. They said there had been a little mistake, and that a settlement had been reached a couple of days before my book was published and therefore the settlement didn’t apply to me. Bollox.
But they then went on to say that apparently My People are still suing Google’s People in an ongoing case. Brilliant.
I wonder what I will do with the millions when I win?
I must post Herself’s knickers over to the case as additional evidence.
I’ll have to label them as ‘Toxic Waste’.
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I’m glad that Herself is married to that Other Fella. But then again I have heard the stories of her prowess with her frying pan so then again….
I’ll take those knickers.
I recall once sitting outside of our tent in Vias when a convoy of several German RVs drove in. They had laundry drying hanging on the sides of the moving vehicles. Of course we all launched into a hearty rendition of “We’ll hang our washing on the Seigfreid Line…….”
Heh heh; a magic moment not to be forgotten.
Brianf – It’s because of the frying pan than I don’t complain too much about the knickers.
Maxi – You can have them [you little pervert]. They are solid gold. Well, they are solid something, anyway.
You think Google have wronged you Granddad? The one time — and honestly, it really was the one time — I ever nakedly wrestled a goat on the roof of my house, Google Maps snapped me with their satellite gizmo.
Might I suggest you use the (potential) winnings of your copyright suit to construct an elaborate mirror around your house, such that when Google try to snap you, from now on they’ll be snapping themselves. That’ll learn ‘em (to the tune of 1 million euro, from your own pocket, for construction of said mirror).
Irishbegrudger – I saw that. If you don’t mind me saying so, that was a very unusual move to be using in a wrestling bout? I might try painting a giant penis on the roof like yer man over in England?
I’ll grant you Grandad, it was an unorthodox move. If you look at the goat’s expression, certainly he’s shocked. But I wouldn’t say the move is without precedent. I believe the late, great John Fitzgerald Kennedy used a similar manoeuvre on Marlyn Monroe, with comparable success.
Hehehehehehe! They still think the satillites are owned by Google. Yukyukyuk!
Grandad if you need a model for the giant penis painting I’m your man – fuckin’ enormous!!
TT – Hanging your washing out of a car is a great way to dry it. I regularly pin my jocks to the radio ariel.
Irishbegrudger – I am now seriously worried. HE’s shocked? Not half as shocked as I am.
The CIA – You spend hundreds of millions putting satellites up and all you can photograph is old knickers???? Sad.
King’s Bard – You have been answering those spam emails again, haven’t you?
What do u mean “answering them”? I’ve been sending them.
Ah! So you have been pre-trialling your own products?
No Grandad but my mother saw an article in the “Missionary Annals” or the “Messenger” (Do u remember them?) about the rings they use in the Hill Tribes in Thailand to develop the Long Neck Women and got an idea..Thank God for the Messenger…