I am become my father
Grandad May 4th, 2009
Lately I have been seeing a lot of my father.
He has been hanging around the house quite a lot and I have been enjoying the comfort of familiarity. Those expressions of movement, the mannerisms, and the general deportment that I remember so well from times gone by.
You must realise that my father passed over nearly thirty years ago, but I am not cracking up. I am not seeing ghosts. What I am seeing is as real as you or me.
It struck me earlier today that I was seeing him vividly. The only thing was that I was seeing him from inside, not outside.
As I grew up, in common with most children I felt my father was ancient. In my case, he was in his late forties when I was born so he always was pretty old compared to me.
As I grew, he was the solid rock of dependability that steered us through life, and I always felt that once my father was around, that all would be right with the world.
Now what I am seeing is his mannerisms that I have subconsciously adapted. I see his walk, his distinctive movements, almost his thought patterns, for I have reached the age that he was at when I remember him the best.
It is quite comforting really.
I am become my father.
- Getting old , The Family , Times past
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Might as well add identity theft to the list along with all of the other charges.
On a related note, I have found that informing my wife and daughter how much they act like each other will result in an immediate denial by both using exactly the same words to tell me that they are nothing alike.
Now, see isn’t a lovely blog post. I want to say something witty and charming but I can’t. It’s such a nice post.
and just to keep with positive vibes “…felt that once my father was around, that all would be right with the world”. Yippeeeee! Economic doom and gloom, begone.
Jim C – It’s funny how most people will deny that they are like their family. I don’t know why?
Charmed – It was just a little whimsey that crossed my mind as I found myself shuffling like my Dad again this morning…
I think it’s awesome that you feel this. (Excuse the Americanism…). I think it speaks of your great love and respect for him. There’s not enough of that around these days.
Grandad are you still trying to use that 30 year old razor your Dad sold you on his deathbed?
You have a beard man. Its not working:)
Never a day goes by…….
Mines still around, worse luck. Probably live to 120 just to annoy me.
Grandad your post reminds me of something I saw years ago- ‘Voyage Around My Father’ and my brain won’t work as its been beer-disabled since Saturday- have you seen it all?
Tricia – He was a very easy man to love and respect. Even after thirty years, I miss him.
Captain – How do you know my father didn’t have a beard?
TT – No one ever dies as long as they are alive in your memory.
Captain – Make the most of him. Is he really that bad? My brain has been age-disabled so the name ‘Voyage Around My Father’ is very familiar, but it doesn’t ring any bells.
Something else I am becoming increasingly aware of; as I age I am getting the same ailments my Dad had. Trouble is, I am getting them at an earlier age. (‘He’ wasn’t much of a drinker.)
Genes, funny things, genes.
Inherited beards, ha. I like that.
Beats becoming your mother!
My Old Dear has been dead for five years now, but she insists on grabbing me by the bathroom mirror every morning.
By the way, A Voyage Round My Father was written by John Mortimer, about his father, who was blind. It was televised at least once, if I remember, once with Laurence Olivier and Alan Bates in the roles of father and son respectively. Now, my mother would never have been able to remember that, so maybe there’s hope for me yet.
TT – The only medical thing I inherited from my father is a dicky back. I have lost count of the times I have cricked mine. He was just the same in his day.
Ian – I dont wear them much. I prefer ordinary trousers.
Captain – Of course beards are inherited. Show me one man with a beard who didn’t have a father?
Baino – You have no idea how true that is!!
Tessa – I don’t think I look much like him, though my hair is going the same colour! I know about ‘Voyage Around My Father’, and that is due to good memory – I remember how to use Google!
My wife was never finished telling me how much like my father I was, a charge I categorically denied, until one winter evening, five years after he’d gone to his heavenly local, I was standing in front of the kitchen window waiting for something to come to a boil and I looked up and saw my father reflected in the glass. I looked down and up and he was still there. I turned my head from side to side and so did he. I was about to call my wife to witness this phenomonen when the image just dissolved back into me. I see my fathers face in mine now every day.
Sounds like your Da was a good man. Mine is still with us, Thanks Be. I enjoy him immensely, and have started a mustache just like his in his honor.
I once heard someone say that a girl knows she is getting old, when she puts on a sweater and her mother’s hand comes through the sleeve.
Several years ago, when I was a fairly new immigrant to the UK and unspeakably homesick, I was crossing the road in the centre of town, when I spotted my mother coming towards me. I gave no thought as to how she had come to be there, I was just delighted that she had come. She symbolises ‘home’ to me in so many ways. My heart lifted, and my pace quickened for a split second before I realised that I had caught sight of my reflection in a shop window.
The desolation that settled over me then was tenfold what it had been and it was the start of what I guess could be called my dark period.
I look just like my mental image of my mother. Oddly enough, I look like my mother’s mental image of herself. We all grow older faster than we, our children or our parents can keep track of.
Best-Post-Ever.
I suppose the moral of the story is that we should all make the best of our parents while they are still around, and that sooner or later, we all grow into them!
Thanks, Dave!
I expect he’s somehow pleased with this, and quite proud of you.
Tuesday. Not like you to miss a day. Hope all is well. Mayhaps your back went out ?
Great post, Karyn.
Thank you, Captain, sir.
Karyn – I agree with the Captain!
TT – I hope my back will be back soon………
My dad passed away not even a month ago. I miss him dearly.