Fashion my arse
Grandad June 23rd, 2009
I have come to the conclusion that women know fuck all about clothes and clothing.
They spend a fortune on magazines, and watch all those crappy programmes on television but they still refuse to learn.
Even the so called experts on the television know fuck all.
What women fail to recognise is that clothing has certain basic functions.
Its primary function is as protection.
Quite honestly, I don’t fancy trailing my dangly bits through a bed of nettles when I am out walking the fields, and I defy anyone to trim brambles when in the altogether.
Clothing also serves to keep us warm. I can guarantee that my manhood would shrink to a mere eight inches if I had to walk down to the pub bollock naked on a frosty winter’s evening.
Clothing is also a primary means of storage. If I did arrive in the pub in my birthday suit, how am I supposed to pay for my pint, when I have nowhere to keep my change? Where am I supposed to put my pipe when I am not using it? Where can I store a phone number if I should strike lucky?
Herself is always on to me about my clothes. She nags me to buy new shirts and when I tell her to fuck off, she buys them anyway. She always gets white ones with no breast pockets. What use is a shirt without a breast pocket? And then she complains that I get the white shirt dirty. God give me strength!! Of course a white shirt is going to show up the blood or whatever.
She goes and buys me trousers, but they don’t have decent hip pockets in them. They are uncomfortable and the material is so thin that it is no protection at all against the gorse. Then she complains when I go out hunting in my comfortable tatty old chords.
I’m seriously coming to the conclusion that us men should reclaim the clothing industry and stop all this fashion crap.
Gok Wan should leave it to the men
Then women can concentrate on what they do best.
Like cooking, cleaning and having babies.
- Around the house
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I wonder how many people will suggest where you can put your pipe when you’ve no pockets….
As for Gok Wan, he’s been leaving it to the man for years.
>> Maxi Cane´s latest brainfart .. What hot pokers in the eyes while having a cold shower is for….#1
Apart from in my mouth? Where else is there?
As soon as I read the words ‘Where am I supposed to put my pipe when I am not using it?’ I copied them and scrolled immediately down to the comments.
Too late.
I think Granny should dress you in serviceable overalls with lots of pockets and lock you in the kitchen with the cooking and the washing up.
Then she should go to the pub in your place and chill out a while!!!!!
>> Kate´s latest brainfart .. Green Fingers!
Chris – Better luck next time.
Kate – Are you one of those women’s libbers, or something?
Chris:
Old age is making your reflexes a little slower…
Well … as I was left in favour of a leggy blonde after 15 years of marriage I guess you could say that….. not right down to the bra burning though!!!!
ahh jaysis i think you would still complain if herself didnt buy you any clothes. You men all all the same which reminds me i better go down and cook the dinner while having the matress tied to my back and did i also say that i have a brush and mop instead of a pair of hands on me.
>> Vicky Rogers´s latest brainfart .. A sweet piece about music and the wonderful Ms Melody Gardot
Kate – Thank God about the bra bit.
Vicky – You sound like my kind of gal?
Only a month into marriage and I’m already buying hubbys socks n jocks. Ive been slowly bringing him around to the fact that wax caps and leather wellies are ok for his countryside ranger job but not for day to day wear. Needless to say theyve been banished to his uniform drawer and away from the nice gear Ive bought him. Wax jackets etc smell atrocious.
Still though, wouldnt let Gok Wan any where near him. Bit too touchy feely for my liking.
Becky – Wax caps and leather wellies are grand for everyday wear. Mind you, he would also need to shoulder a Purdey 12 bore and sling a brace of pheasant over his arm to complete the rig out? To be honest, I wouldn’t let Gok Wan anywhere near anyone, except maybe a politician or two…
Don’t complain: even the most uncomfortable, impractical men’s clothing in the world is more comfortable and practical than any women’s clothing– which sucks if you happen to be female and still like clothing that serves a purpose other than looking nice. Your trousers may not have decent pockets, but women’s jeans– JEANS!– usually don’t have ANY, in my experience. Us buying you sucky clothes is revenge for not having any choice ourselves. :p
Welcome, Sage!
I don’t know about that. Womens’ clothing can be quite comfortable? And what the hell do you mean ‘you have no choice’? Jayzus but the shops are packed with wimmins stuff with a couple of pairs of old denims in the corner for the men…..
What’s a gok wan? Assuming it’s a designer, why do women let men? design their clothes? Women don’t design mens clothes, thank christ, so why don’t they listen to themselves and come up with stuff that they would really like to wear instead of the total crap foisted on them by the gok wanks of the world?
Welcome, Paulo1! I am not a homophobe, but Gok Wan is a screaming queen who minces about on television [in the U.K.] advising women on what to wear. I’m not 100% sure of its gender, but I would imagine it would use the gents…
Gok Wan passed me in covent garden recently…the smell off him!!! Hoors handbag springs to mind. Still though, nowt wrong with a man looking after himself just as long as he doesnt expect the rest of us to start sporting Toni and Guy mullets and dame edna specs.
Becky – Being television it never occurred to me to wonder what he smelt like [thank God]. Thank you for enlightening us! I think……
Maybe it’s time you took a trip to your local sporting goods store, and see what herself would say when you come back?
Yeh, don’t complain, I have to think of something different to wear to work every day. The men wear the same gear different shirt! Easy peasy!
TheChrisD – Nah. They are all designer labels and crap like that.
Baino – Stop whinging. You women could wear the same stuff day in day out, but it’s just vanity that stops you. Wear a pair of overalls for a week, and feel the liberation!