Wood you believe?
Grandad July 11th, 2009
There was an item on the news during the week.
I watched it, had a great laugh and rendered a hearty ‘Aw, for fuck’s sake’ and went about my business.
The story continues to do the rounds though .
It is, of course the Holy Tree Stump.
For those of you who have been too wrapped up in trivial things like life, the story goes that a tree was felled in County Limerick as it was in a dangerous state. Some gobshite then looked at the stump and declared that he could see The Virgin Mary.
Quite frequently, when I am coming home from the pub, I see wondrous things. There is the local bulldog that, after ten pints bears a remarkable resemblance to Mary Harney, and only last Thursday I saw a hippopotamus climbing up the church steeple. I don’t mention these things because presumably everyone else sees them too.
This prat however spread the word, and soon the innocent, the gullible and the plain stupid were flocking to see this apparition.
I have nothing against religion and people can believe what they want, but I do find it a tad weird that people should start making pilgrimages to venerate a tree stump. There is now a petition with over a thousand signatures demanding that the stump be retained as a shrine.
I have looked long and hard at the photograph. I must admit that after staring at it for over an hour I am beginning to see a shape appearing. In fact I am prepared to admit that it does bear a remarkable resemblance to …… a tree stump. Unless, of course the are referring to the blonde with the tits, but I don’t think so.
Of course there have been other occasions when people have attacked trees with various implements and have sworn blind that the result bears some kind of humanoid form, but I just can’t see it myself.
I feel very sorry for those people who are pinning their hopes on a lump of wood.
I shall include them in my prayers as I sit and meditate in front of my patch of black mould on the kitchen wall.
I swear that mould is a divine apparition.
It is the living image of God.
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I still can’t believe you threw away puppychild’s Satanic inkblot painting. That would’ve come in so handy in the Apocalypse.
.-= >> K8´s latest brainfart .. Sheepish =-.
I will not have my granddaughter involved in Satanic rituals.
That’s my job.
I swear I can see cleavage in that image of a tree stump.
.-= >> Kirk M´s latest brainfart .. People living longer | Thursday ponderings =-.
Kirk M – There are several logical answers to this….
Answers on a postcard please……
No problem. Send me your address (you know my email address) and I’ll write the answers and send away.
.-= >> Kirk M´s latest brainfart .. People living longer | Thursday ponderings =-.
I bet the Pope is just sitting back thinking, “Oy Vey! Why did they stick me with those Irish feckers? Now I have to send a bunch of Cardinals just to prove to them it’s a rotten tree stump. If those Celtic looneys want to worship a tree stump let ‘em go back to their pagan rites of dancing at night and howling to the moon! Geez! God gave them Guinness. What else do they want?”
.-= >> Brianf´s latest brainfart .. Independence Day 233 years later =-.
Oy Vey! The Pope is Jewish? Stump Schmump!
.-= >> K8´s latest brainfart .. Sheepish =-.
I’m surprised there aren’t more sightings like this due to Guinness.
I wonder though who is flocking to see this tree stump? Is it the same guys who go to father Ted weekends? I mean real people dont fall for this kind of shit do they? I mean I could look it up in the papers and read about it, but I cant be arsed. And beside I have to get down to my local church where we are going to say some repetitve prayers whilst staring at images of a man nailed to a piece of wood.
DONT MOCK ME!
.-= >> SAm Crea´s latest brainfart .. Wiki-pedia (it even sounds Very Vicki Pollard) =-.
What baffles me is that if these people take the BVM seriously, as some of them obviously do, why they should reduce her to ridicule by suggesting she would appear on a tree stump.
However, being a hard nosed old Prod, I am probably missing something.
I have an alien on my lemon scented gum but the Roswell crowd don’t seem interested!
.-= >> Baino´s latest brainfart .. Friday Fuckwit (again!) =-.
Kirk M – You mean there is more than one? You do have problems!
Brianf – The pope will never complain so long as there is money to be made out of it.
K8 – I did wonder that myself. A Jewish Hitler Youth? A new concept!
SAm – I had a look at the news reels, and let’s just say that I don’t think there were many captains of industry or university graduates amongst the crowds. Must of them reminded me of an Irish version of Cletus.
Ian – I think the believers are the ones who aree missing something? [Like a few brain cells?]
Baino – Sell it on eBay! You will make a fortune.
Stepford Mum – Welcome to my humble abode! I think you overestimate the hallucinogenic power of Guinness. That only causes people to see real things like armadillos and Elvis. That crowd down the country were probably drinking battery acid or Budweiser.
“battery acid or Budweiser.”
Boy, you got that shit right!
Around here it’s also known as ButtWipers
or
SpudWeiser, when it really doesn’t matter
or
piss water
or
fill-in-the-blank crap.
.-= >> Brianf´s latest brainfart .. Independence Day 233 years later =-.
Brianf – In fairness to Budweiser, they are very honest in their advertising [which is a rare thing these days]. They love showing us dray horses thereby demonstrating exactly where their product comes from?
Indeed, this delusional/illusional shite happens all the time here in Arizona and if its a slow news day makes the six o’clock with big breasted breathless Bunnys reporting Our Lady of Guadalupe is indeed visable on a corn tortilla or the dirty windshield of a 57 Chevy. An old cockhound from my school days is now a retired priest and has Our (His?)Lady tattooed on his back and a very sick looking Christ on the cross on his chest. I mean to ask him if he said mass in the nude and did the congreation look at the Virgin or his fat ass. Ah, if God dropped acid would She see people ? And if God didnt want man to eat pussy She wouldnt have made it look like a taco….Its Sunday, I think I’ll do something religious like drop some Sunshine and go to mass and have a taco with a tequila chaser for brunch….
RWG, Himself
I am sure there are many Monty Python quotes I could use at this time – but it might be seen as being blasphemous …….
Did you happen to get a photo of the hippo – I would have liked to see that?
.-= >> Kate´s latest brainfart .. True Love =-.
RWG – There is nothing I can add to that!
Kate – We have to be careful about blasphemy here. The government seems to be very keen on it. Sorry – no photos. I always forget that my phone has a camera built in.