Archive for July 14th, 2009

I am going to hell

July 14th, 2009

There are many things I abhor and detest in this world.

Crowds.

Shops.

Any place that is all concrete and glass, and not a blade of grass to be seen.

Combine the above three into one, and you get a shopping centre.

Again, there are shopping centres and there are shopping centres.  Some are almost tolerable.  Some are just mindless edifices dedicated to consumerism.

The king and queen of the latter has to be the Dundrum Shopping Centre, or as they prefer to call it, Dundrum Town Centre.

When I was a lot younger, I used to work in Dundrum.  It was a pleasant enough little village with a couple of pubs and a television factory [where I worked].

They demolished that factory and a couple of hundred acres of surrounding land and built what I can only describe as a cathedral devoted to the god of hedonism.  It is not a Town centre, as the centre of Dundrum is further down the road.  It isn’t even a town.  But they have to glorify it to con the ignorant masses.

I was there once.  I had to call in to collect something and the experience was a nightmare.  It is vast.  It is anonymous.  It is packed to the gills with the kind of shop that the world could well do without.  There are 166 shops in the one building.  One hundred and sixty fucking six shops.  And they are all the worst kind of shop.  Most are clothing shops selling fancy brand named crap to people who are as idiotic as the prices.

I have to go there today.  I am dreading it, but I have no choice.  To me, visiting that centre is only one step away from being dumped in New York.  It is hell on earth.

I thought that while I was there, I might as well get a couple of yokes that I need for the car.

You would think that out of one hundred and sixty fucking six shops, one of them would be a motor factors.  But no.  There are forty one shops selling ladies fashions, but not one miserable shop where you could buy a headlight bulb.  Fuck that.

Frankly, I can only think of one use for that place.

I’m going to use it to test fire one of my new batch of nuclear missiles as soon as they arrive.

I hope it’s full of brain-dead shoppers buying their NEXT and their Gap and their Tommy Hilfiger.

The world will be a better place.