Blasphemy
Grandad July 16th, 2009
me: “Howya God? How’s tricks?”
God: “Ah, hello Grandad. We haven’t spoken in a while. How’s she cuttin’?”
Me: ”Right down the middle, God. I was just wondering what you thought of the new blasphemy thing?”
God: “What new blasphemy thing? I thought you humans got tired of that in the Middle Ages?”
Me: “The Irish government are bringing in a new blasphemy law, so that anyone who offends anyone else in any manner whatsoever can be punished severely. It has something to do with religion, but I’m not sure what.”
God: “What? They are worried about my feelings again? HEY! JESUS!”
Jesus: “You called? Oh, howya Grandad!”
Me: “Hi JC!”
God: “Did ya hear what Grandad just said?”
Jesus: “How would I hear what Grandad just said when I wasn’t here? Do you think I’m omnipotent or something?”
God: “That shower down on Earth have just resurrected blasphemy again!”
Jesus: “I thought we had the market cornered on resurrection?”
God: “Don’t be smart. Don’t you realise what this means?”
Jesus: “What?”
God: “We are back in business. Dust of the angels in the legal department and tell ‘em to get cracking.”
Me: “I would have thought you were above being offended?”
God: “I am offended by the idea that they think I can be offended. That’s enough in my book.”
Me: “So who are you going to sue?”
God: “Your fucking government, of course.”
Me: No point. They are broke. If you force them to stay in power they keep all their perks, and if you force them out, then they no longer need worry about the state of things. You can’t win.”
God: “We always win. Jesus. Get thinking and find out ways of lumbering them with the Greens and Mary Harney for the rest of eternity.”
Me: “Fuck! You can be harsh sometimes…….”
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