No flies on Grandad
Grandad August 23rd, 2009
I hate flies.
They are irritating little fuckers that serve no discernable purpose in life; a bit like politicians.
One has been annoying the hell out me for the last couple of days.
He seemed to have a liking for the television, as he kept crawling all over Sharon’s face which didn’t please her very much. I don’t like anyone crawling over my Sharon. The fly had to go.
I tried swatting it. This led to a bit of mayhem, a broken flower vase and a very nervous dog. I couldn’t swat the little bastard. He was too fast. Or maybe I’m too slow. Old age is beginning to take its toll.
Then I found a can of industrial strength fly spray that we bought in France last year, and brought home with us.
It’s a fearsome looking can with a big label – “INSECTICIDE”. Under that it announces that it’s for “mouches”, “moustiques” and “guepes”.
It was time for my “mouche” to say its prayers.
I emptied half the can into the room this morning. Minnie suddenly started making a buzzing noise and she ran around in rapid circles. She is now lying on her back making strange gasping sounds, but I’m sure she’ll be grand.
There is no sign of the fly. It was around before I sprayed, but I haven’t seen it since.
Either it’s dead or it has decided to call it quits.
I wonder if my Insecticide works as effectively on politicians?
- Around the house
- Comments(19)
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Grandad I’d not use that shtuff in the house, sounds outright nasty, insecticides, Jaysus.
Feel free to use it outdoors on your politicians though, I’d put a label on it saying sexy spray for people of great importance and leave it by The Dail : )
p.s. I work for the EPA in Boston.
Welcome, Seamus! Sure what would be the use in spraying outdoors, especially on a windy day like today? Catch the bastards where they can’t escape, I say. That’s why I’m thinking of spraying the Dáil bar!!
Boston? The Brother-in-Law lives there. Do you know him?
: )
Send you an e-mail right now on the last subject.
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“Boston? The Brother-in-Law lives there. Do you know him?”
Classic Grandad, classic.
SeamusKeleher, great pics, very artistic.
send some here Grandad – we’ve been invaded ….. flies not politicians!!!
thanks, TheBigYin, greatly appreciated..
Seamus – I’ll second that about the pictures.
BigYin – He must know The Brother-in-Law. It looks no bigger than Bundoran on the map.
Kate – You live right beside France. Why don’t you nip over and buy some
Grandad!!! Have you got me confused with someone who lives further south? I’m miles away from any coastline!! Perhaps you could smuggle some in when you return from your jolly hollies?
no flies on Grandad…!
Kate – You live much closer to France than I do, and it’s only a tiny swim across. I’m afraid that I can’t deliver as I take direct route and avoid the UK. Nothing personal.
Mick – You said it. But then, so did I.
We had a grundig TV growing up that had these cool little sensor type buttons to change the channels. There were eight of the fuckers imagine, and only the 2 channels… But in summer time the flies would come and land on the little sensor type buttons and change the channel..
I am kidding you not.. We had to put a strip of selotape across the buttons to keep the little fuckers from watching what they wanted to watch.. which always seemed to be one of the six snow channels..
Thanks for the kind words on the photos..
.-= SeamusKeleher´s last brainfart .. Graphite =-.
If you intend on using what’s left of your French insecticide on your politicians make sure you fire the spray across the top of a lit lighter. Works slick with little or no back flash. Really annoys the politician as well.
They say rat poison works better on politicians. Some company was going to advertise it, but they stop when they were contacted by lawyers threatening to sue. The rats didn’t objected to being grouped with politicians.
Kirk M _ Our politicians are made of a combination of teflon and asbestos. Wouldn’t work.
Jim C – Rat poison? Arsenic? Cyanide? Who cares, as long as it does the job.
Awww, for a second there, I thought the fly was actually crawling over Sharon’s face live in the newsroom…
TheChrisD – Then why is she pulling that face?
Funny, good stuff and definitely; Sharon wouldn’t like that at all!
Welcome, Unstranger! Of course Sharon wouldn’t like it. She doesn’t like anything coming between us two.