A short answer to a longstanding problem
Grandad September 10th, 2009
A little piece of whimsy caught my eye yesterday.
“Taller people are happiest, say researchers”
The first thing that struck me is who the fuck commissioned this piece of vital research?
“Hey! Jack – We have a few hundred thousand left in the coffers. Wanna do some research?”
“Research into what?”
“I dunno. Whatever you like. How about ‘do SUV drivers really have small penises’?”
“Done that, and the answer was yes.”
“Well, how about ‘are farts on aeroplanes odourless’?”
“Done that and the answer was no.”
“For fuck’s sake! Go and think up something, you short miserable little prick.”
And thus a mighty piece of research was born.
They never asked me anything.
I am well over the six foot mark, and I can assure you that life isn’t a bed of roses. For a start, I could never travel in comfort on Concorde. I can also painfully testify that there are quite a lot of doors around that don’t cater too well to the elongated individual.
It does have advantages, I must confess.
I usually get a good view at a standing only concert. If I do drop a ripper, it’s the shorties who get it first. Heh!
What has me completely baffled though is their conclusion -
The report’s authors concluded the findings were almost wholly explained by the positive association between height and both income and education, both of which are closely linked to better lives.
What the fuck?
I’ll have them know I was tall [for my age] before I ever started school. And I used to get 3d for my pocket money. Hardly well off?
I suppose genetics had nothing whatsoever to do with it?
- Rambles
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I’m 6ft 2in. Forever banging my head off of low door frames, crammed into airline seats, buses, cars etc, etc, etc.
Only real advantage as you pointed out is when standing at a concert. Or trying to get to the bar.
A tall tale indeed.
I think your right about these ‘researchers’ using up their ill gotten funds Grandad, this was running on the British Bullshit Corporation all day yesterday:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8245578.stm
Now they want to seperate couples from their double beds!
I’m only like 2ft tall, but I’m pretty happy 99% of the time
These guys must have their heads in the clouds!
Robert – I didn’t know you were called to the bar? I must give you a shout if I have any legal problems?
TT – *sigh”
BigYin – I threw Herself out of the bed years ago. She snores too much. We’re very happy.
Jelly Monster – It’s the other 1% that counts. Why aren’t you The Jelly Midget?
Mick – *another sigh*
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Midgets are evil!!!!!!!! Maxi Cane says they hide under our bed
I’ve always thought the best thing about being tall was pretty, petite women. Of course, I’m biased that way.
.-= Kirk M´s last brainfart .. Can I die first please? =-.
Kirk M – Trying to sneak in under a new avatar? Petite women are all very well, but they give me a pain in the neck!
Drat it! I meant to post under my new site’s moniker but I got confused about the whole thing and messed up. Oh well, it’s not like you wouldn’t have figured it out anyway.
And I can’t help it. Petite women with tons of decent attitude have always been enormously attractive to me. I like to smile at their tirades.