No smoking please
Grandad September 14th, 2009
We went for a drive the other day and ended up in a place called Souillac.
It’s quite a large town and a nice place to wander.
In the course of my wanderings, I came across a wee shop on the main street.
There was nothing very remarkable about the shop. I don’t know why I went in. There was nothing in particular about the place, apart from a strange urge to enter.
Inside the shop they were selling all sorts of weird stuff. There were clothes, and boots. There were paper flowers and toys. There were paper weights and plates. It was a strange sort of mixed up shop.
Then I went through a door into the back room.
Sweet holy divine FUCK!
Everywhere I looked there were fireworks.
I’m not talking about those little squibs they try and flog you down Moore Street.
I’m not talking about those irritating little bangers that the skobies throw around at Halloween.
I am talking about the biggest light-the-blue-touch-paper-and-kiss-your-fucking-arse-goodbye type fireworks that I have ever seen.
There were rockets five foot tall. There were bombs about five inches in diameter. And they were stacked by the crate load all around me.
I swear those yokes had been tested on some unfortunate atoll in the South Pacific
Everywhere I looked there were shelves stacked high with them. They were leaning against the walls. They were cluttering up the floor.
One fucking match and Souillac is erased from the map. For good.
For the first time ever, I was happy to see a small sign that said “No Smoking”.
I’ll say one thing for France.
They treat responsible adults like responsible adults.
No fucking Nanny State here.
- The Nanny State
- Comments(11)
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So did you bring a few back in an attempt to get the locals to shut up this October.
Or has Souillac already been wiped off of the face of the earth?
TheChrisD – I am in the process of upgrading my return ferry ticket to include a very large trailer.
See ya there.
Susan – See me where? Do you know the shop?
Stayed in a campsite near Souillac once. Nice part of the world. Decent wine supermarket beside the Lidl there.
Don’t you just love it when an opportunity like this comes along? Hope you get a good price on the trailer.
Thrifty – ‘Tis a grand part of the world, altogether. I’ll keep an eye out for that wine place…..
Kirk M – The problem is finding an airtight trailer. Those fucking customs sniffer dogs are a pain in the hole.
Bastille and Assomption – big firework times are well past – they must be for Toussaint
When you’re leaving, just walk nonchalantly past, flick your butt (cigarette, unless you light your farts) through the window and get out of dodge…
Hmmmm? We didn’t expect you to find ou r that shop.
Ian – Has it occurred to you that they just might be for me?
Welcome Sean – The problem with that is that I don’t smoke cigarettes. I’ll be damned if I am going to waste a good pipe,and if I tried to get a butt off Herself, the explosion would be worse than the shop going up.
The CIA – Write out 500 times – “We must try harder”.