Archive for September 18th, 2009

Endorsements

September 18th, 2009

A few times in the past I have mentioned products and their websites.

I used to write a bit about Cully and Sully simply because I liked their attitude, and more important – I liked their product.  We had a bit of a skit about what to do with the left over ceramic bowls, and it was all a bit of fun.

Then I wrote about Elie and his fantastic range of handmade pipes.  I wrote about him because I had bought a pipe off him, and I thought his service was exceptional.  I also think he designs the most incredible pipes.

elies_pipes

I have also written about e-Cigarette Direct because I bought a pipe off them, and once more they gave exceptional service.

Not only have I written about them, but I have put links on the side of the site.

All of these people have one thing in common.

Not one of them asked me to write about them.  I did it because I wanted to and because I thought they deserved a mention.

Now for some reason, known only to God and a small fella called Wak in China, people have started asking me to endorse things.

I keep getting emails asking me to link to their sites in exchange for a test of their product.

What the fuck is this all about?  Have I landed into a sort of alternative spam place?  Some place where instead of trying to add five inches to my todger, I have to try their products for nothing?  Weird.

I had one yesterday wanting me to try out a credit card.  They offered me one for nothing.  I have several problems with this.  The first is that I have a credit card that does everything their one does, so I would only be cluttering my pockets up.  The next and biggest problem is that to try it, presumably I would have to spend money on something.  I would have to go out and buy something I didn’t want just to see if a bit of plastic works.  And how do I tell if I like it?  What is there to like about a credit card?  It works, or it doesn’t.  I’m hardly going to rave about something just because it’s a different colour, and that is the only difference I can see.  No disrespect, but this ain’t the place for you.

I had another one asking me to write about tungsten wedding rings. 

What the fuck would I be doing writing about tungsten wedding rings?  They offered me a ring in exchange for writing about their produce, but I already have a ring.  It belonged to my grandmother and is 22 carat solid gold.  Apart from the sentimentality, it is a rarity these days, and I am very proud to wear it.  It is the only jewellery that I wear, or intend to wear so I doubt I would have much use for a tungsten ring.   No disrespect, but this ain’t the place for you either.

I had yet another request from another crowd asking me to link to their site.  I get quite a few of those and occasionally [please note – very rarely] I will add a link, if I like the site and if it is a blog.  This request though was from some crowd asking me to link to a religious site.  What the fuck?  Don’t these people know I don’t write about religion?  I wouldn’t mind too much but these bastards didn’t even try to offer something in return.  Not even a plenary indulgence.

So here is a little message to all you lot who are looking for endorsement.

READ MY FUCKING SITE.

Does it look like a site that tests products?

Does it look like a site that endorses things?

I am not interested.

Unless of course you want me to test drive a Bugatti Veyron. in return for a present of one?

Bugatti

Sounds

September 18th, 2009

This is a remarkably quiet and peaceful place.

I say remarkably, because there is a main road only a few feet from us.  However, we are about fifty feet above the road on a cliff so we can’t see it all and can hardly hear the traffic.  The road is very smooth and the cars are quiet.

The river flows the other side of the road and we hear more from that than from the traffic.  The ducks can be quite noisy, and when there are canoeists we can hear every word they say.  Sound carries well here, as there is rarely so much as a breeze.

Beyond the river on the other side of the valley, there is a railway.  It is a local branch line and every hour or so a train trundles past as if it were in no hurry to go anywhere.

Occasionally we hear a brief roar from the sky.  There are a lot of hot air balloons around here and they make make quite a noise with their propane burners.  It can be quite disconcerting to be sitting in the garden and to suddenly hear this roar from over your head as another balloon floats past just above the chimneys.

We are enjoying our second thunderstorm at the moment.  You get your money’s worth with a French thunderstorm.  It is quite spectacular watching the lightning zap the local hilltops and then feeling your ribs rattle with the noise.

The thunder isn’t the loudest thing though.

Not by a long chalk.

Oh no.

That distinction goes to the air force.

They don’t do it that often, but every now and then they decide to buzz the valley.

These mothers fly their jets at close to sonic speeds, so you don’t hear ‘em coming.  The first you know is a massive roar that turns your ears to jelly, and that is followed by an horrendous ripping noise as they streak up the valley just above the tree tops. 

Jayzus but they are fucking fast.  And noisy.

It occurred to me that just one of those planes carries more firepower than the Irish defence forces have ever owned in their entire history.

I wonder where I can get one?