Fried testicles
Grandad October 24th, 2009
I have a great fondness for music shops.
I’m not talking about your average place that just sells CDs. No. I’m talking about shops that sell musical instruments.
There is a shop in Ennis called Custy’s that I confess I have never visited. My loss. I must call in there some day.
Now, the local lads in Ennis have a bit of a joke going. After a skinfull of pints, they feel the need for a piss [as one does] and they think it is a great laugh to have their piss through Custy’s letter box. Sometimes they go the extra mile and have a dump there too.
Now, Mr O’Connor, who owns the shop doesn’t quite see the joke and is getting a little tired of mopping up their recycled beer and kebabs, and quite frankly, I don’t blame him.
He has tried all sorts of things to stop them but they will insist on having their little joke.
Now he has electrified his letter box.
Fair fucking play to him.
He has put up warning signs saying that the box is electrified, so the lads can’t complain. But sure you know lads after a few pints? They couldn’t be arsed reading a sign or two, and they will doubtless insist on having their little joke again.
I would love to be a fly on the wall when they fry their nuts.
Of course the Nanny State will come down on the side of the lads. We must protect even the mindless morons of the state, after all.
But in the meantime, I’m with Mr O’Connor.
I hope he fries the mickeys off them.
- Rambles
- Comments(16)
Subscribe to audio
It wont work. They tried it on mythbusters and no matter how hard they tried they couldn’t get zapped.
Robert – Maybe [hopefully] he uses a different method? Did they actually get volunteers to test it on Mythbusters?
Awww and it looks like such a nice place. Where us Yanks dream about living. Tell me, do they have ASBO in Ireland similar to the UK ? Also, where do the ladettes piss ?
They tested it themselves. I can’t find a clip of it on YouTube though
TT – No ASBOs here, which is surprising. I haven’t asked the ladettes. Use your imagination!
Robert – I’m not surprised. Heh!
It does indeed work, if done correctly.
I once told a friend of mine while visiting the old family farm, not to piss on the right side of an old stump. The reason being was that the a strand of an old electric fence came to an end on that side of the stump. When the farmer down the road powered up his electric fencer that old strand came alive as well.
My friend didn’t listen.
I can’t adequately describe what happened when his stream hit that strand but I would say that it was akin to placing the butt end of a double barrel shotgun against your groin and firing both barrels at the same time. At least that’s what it looked like to me at the time.
You might want to tell Mr. O’Connor to make sure he uses an electric fencer. They even come solar powered so it saves on electricity (the battery keeps it fired up all night so no problems there). If the lads complain then all he has to say is he set it up to keep out the vermin.
Or he could keep a ferret.
Spring loaded letterbox would soon sort that – a mickey guillotine…
… or a quiet dog with very sharp teeth?
Mickey guillotine is a magnificent idea!
Bit of a ring to it too: “Come to Custy’s to be circumsised”
I’m for the fried Mickeys, or the sharp toothed dog on the other side of the door, or maybe barbed wire(?) - but failing that, I guess Mr. O’ Conner will just have to install one of those alluminium, pull down, padlocked roll door things - sans letter box - and invest in a P.O. box and trudge all the way up to the post office every day for his post. Shame, shame on those mucky ‘wild plassers’ (wild pissers).
He is dead right. Should work out something like this: http://www.videosift.com/video/Peeing-On-An-Electric-Fence
Holy shit!!! I felt that, Keith.
Told ya’ it worked.
Nice shot, Keith.
Kirk M´s last brainfart .. The colors are past. Here comes the trash
Doesn’t matter if the piss thing will work or not, if they’re pissing THRU the letter box they’ve gotta touch the outer flap. If it’s metal….
Gorgarard – It worked perfectly!