No sympathy
Grandad November 3rd, 2009
I have a bug.
I haven’t mentioned it before, because frankly it’s none of your business, and the only reason I am mentioning it now is that I AM PISSED OFF WITH IT.
It has been lurking around in my head and chest for the last three weeks or so, and if it doesn’t go away soon, I am really going to get annoyed.
I am sick of the stuffy head and the headaches and the cough and the aches. I am tired of sweating when the central heating is off, and shivering when the heating is on. Worst of all, I can’t think straight.
No. On second thoughts, that’s not the worst part.
The worst part is the sympathy.
I fucking hate sympathy.
Herself is doing her best to ingratiate herself by trying to feed me Manuka Honey and shite like that. She can grovel all she likes but she is not getting shoes for Christmas. Barefoot was good enough for our forefathers, and it’s good enough for her.
The only time sympathy has an upside is when the lads down in the pub buy me a whiskey for the chest. I make sure to cough loudly when I first enter, and that usually has the desired results. With some judicious hacking I can get a full nights free whiskey out of the sympathy card. The downside of that is that I have probably passed the bug on to everyone, so I will be drinking on my own in a couple of weeks time, or worse still – I’ll have to buy everyone else whiskeys out of sympathy.
I don’t know what the bug is. It’s the first one I have had since I left work eight years ago, as I had no need for sick certs since then.
It’s probably the Pig Thing.
If it is, it’s no big deal.
Except that it won’t fucking GO AWAY.
- Health
- Comments(25)
Subscribe to audio
You’re not alone. I’ve been struck down with something similar for the past week. Ranging from being freezing cold to roasting hot. Coughing, wheezing and absolute agony at times.
I haven’t had any booze either in exactly a week so the worst part is I’m not sure if some of my symptoms are from alcohol withdrawal. To make things worse I think I’ve managed to get myself addicted to codeine as a substitute.
Robert – Well, you didn’t get it from me. Unless of course you got it off this site. Do you have anti-virus software?
I should have known better than to trust Microsoft Security Essentials!
I had it for six weeks, two rounds of antibiotics did not help, hope you’re feeling better soon.. so ye can get herself the shoes
Well, since you don’t take sympathy, how about… haha?
it’s the bug I have sympathy for.
Seamus – Six fucking weeks? Aw Jayzus! Remember – no sympathy [and no shoes].
TheChrisD – That’s more like it.
I hear that the “pig thing” as you call it lasts for weeeeeks and weeeeeks and weeeeeeeks all the way home.
Get better soon – we need you..
Kerryview – Your sarcky little comment got stuck in moderation and refused to come out. I had quite a job approving it. I don’t know why I bothered.
Bard – Don’t worry – I need me too.
sarcky? moi? at least your blog banner does exactly what it says on the tin – narky. i’ll send on a naggin of black bush. that’ll cure ya.
Mexican Flu. All the way to Ireland. Amazing.
OY! Kerryview!! Will yiz type your email address correctly? I’m not going to “approve” you again.
TT – Yes. Isn’t it absolutely fascinating? Who would have thought?
jayesfluid i’m sorry about the typos. as i said before my right hand not repaired yet. four wires sticking out of mt loodeen. it looks look a finger with sky dishes sticking out.makes it hard to be word perfect. like to see a pic? it’s not gruesome, but fascinating
You need garlic!
Just remember, the future of our country is in the hands of a man who carries cloves of garlic in his pocket and if he can save the country with just one clove, think what you might do.
Serves you right. Don’t know why yet, but I’m sure it will all become very clear quite soon.
Kerryview – Can you get BBC on it? Forget the picture. Just send the Black Bush.
Ian – It just goes to show that the old wive’s tale of garlic scaring off a vampire doesn’t work!
Maxi – You’re next. Heh!
See? That’s what I get for visiting your blog all the time. Now I got it too! (And so does She BTW. You must be catching.)
Kirk M´s last brainfart .. All sick and accounted for
Kirk M – I never touched her. Honest. I swear.
On the upside, swine flu is only fatal if you’re between 18 and 25 or have recently had a lung transplant! Nah . .seriously, hope you kick it, sounds nasty. Plus there’s nothing worse than a dose of man flu for the women who have to live with you!
I don’t get bugs Grandad, Im too thick and no sensible bug will come near me. So in future DUMB DOWN for a bug free future. (It’s either I’m too thick or the alcohol and fags, not quite sure.)
Grandad,what if its carbon monoxide poisoning. Arnt the simptims oftne confused for a bad dose of the flu? Are you sure herself isnt fluting around with the gas fires in the house trying to bump you off? Do you even have gas fires? Time to get the chimney swept in time for your favourite holiday season *cringe*
Thats what my old dear always insisted on when we were kids, “that tree isnt going up til the chimney is swept” Never knew her reasoning.
Where are you today? Having a bug is no excuse for hiding.
And if you can’t think of anything to say, you can tell a story from work days (with names changed, of course!).
“Get up out of bed you; and clean out your cell”
Baino – This ain’t the ‘man flu’, it’s just a bug. I don’t give a shit what it’s called but it ain’t the ‘man flu’. Any why the sympathy for my women?
BigYin – An interesting theory. I must increase the nicotine and alcohol levels in my bloodstream though…….
Becky – I know from past experiences with car loads of tourists in the past that CO poisoning turns the skin blue. I’m still reasonably pink. Well, maybe a bit grey.
Ian & TT – Read what I just published today.
It’s a mad running battle we have with these micro-organisms. Or a crawling, shuffling battle as the case may be. I’d tell you to get well soon, Grandad, but then you wouldn’t, out of pure contrariness. So I’ll just nod meaningfully, and you can take it whatever way you like, or don’t like.
*sneezes*