Archive for December 23rd, 2009

Christmas

December 23rd, 2009

The time has come.

I suppose I had better make a start on decorating the place.

I would normally do it on Christmas Eve, but K8, TAT and The Mob are arriving tomorrow and they would only get under my feet.

I wouldn’t bother my arse, but Puppychild might be a little disappointed if I didn’t do something.  She expects a tree at the very least.  Spoiled brat.  I have a branch that blew off a birch tree in the storms last month that should do the trick nicely.

I find that the easiest way to decorate the house is to nip out and do a bit of gardening.  It’s a good time of year for trimming back bushes and shrubs, and also for stripping ivy off the trees.  All I have to do then is drag all the cuttings and strippings indoors and spread them around a bit.  Herself usually complains about the mess, but I just tell her that she can always do the job herself.  She never takes me up on the offer though.

There is a centuries old tradition in our house that I started a few years ago that as soon as the decorations are up, I’m entitled to a nice bottle of malt.  That has the added benefit that I shall be nicely anaesthetised tomorrow.

So, in case I’m not around tomorrow, have a good one.

Don’t get too drunk.

Don’t stay too sober.

And if the worst comes to the worst, just deny everything.

It works for me.

Pandemic

December 23rd, 2009

Whatever happened to the Swine Flu Pandemic?

A few short months ago, all we heard on the news was the latest pronouncements on the Pandemic.  God, how they loved that word.  If they couldn’t fit Pandemic into a sentence, then they weren’t interested.  People were even naming their babies Pandemic.

Night after night, we were gravely told the latest alert status, and experts would be brought on with the latest estimates of the number of billions that were to die.  Countries vied with each other for the highest fatalities, and if there were a fatality, we weren’t told where it was, in case there was mass panic and an exodus from the affected area.

No one talks about it now.

Other topics have taken over the headlines, and the Swine Flu Pandemic is but a forgotten memory.  If you develop sniffles now, people don’t want to know.  That’s yesterday’s news, they say.  Swine Flu is soooo not now.

Swine Flu must empathise with that kid from the X-Factor.  All that build-up, and then nothing.  A massive anti-climax.  No companies closing down because they have no staff left.  No bodies lining the streets waiting to be collected.

I think Swine Flu may have a legal case for breach of contract.  It should be able to sue for false advertising.

I feel sorry for it.

All that build up and then…..

Nothing.