How to shoot yourself in the foot
Grandad January 9th, 2010
I was browsing around the Interweb this morning, as is my wont.
I came across an interesting item by way of Dick Puddlecote that got me thinking.
Apparently the N.U.I in Galway are looking for volunteers to help them with their research.
I like helping people out where possible, and in this particular case, they are looking for smokers, who don’t use gas as a primary means of fuel. I fit the bill, as I’m not too fond of gas, and anyway there isn’t any up the mountains.
So what will I be helping them to research?
“We are looking to recruit households […] where there is at least one adult who smokes inside and where electricity and not gas is used to cook meals. With most people spending between 80 and 90% of their time indoors, the quality of the air that we breathe can play a significant role in our health and wellbeing. It is hoped that the information collected will tell us something about the concentration of various chemicals found in our homes.”
Ho kay.
They want to analyse the air quality that we breath for 80% to 90% of the time. That’s fair enough. In fact that is a laudable example of public interest research. Let’s sign up.
But why do they mention smokers?
Maybe they want to prove that there are fewer chemicals in a house where there is a smoker?
Nah! That can’t be it.
Maybe they are setting out to prove that a smoker’s house is full of lethal chemicals, and that smoking is likely to cause the imminent death of all householders and their children? Strangely enough that has the ring of truth about it.
So let’s get this straight. They want me [or you] to volunteer to help them prove that us [and you] smokers are killing everyone in the household? Presumably this is to help any argument towards banning smoking in the home? It’s hardly there to promote it?
I am very tempted to sign up. For the duration of the test, I will give up smoking and instead will light the house using candles. I can guarantee the air will be full of carbon monoxide, cyanide, arsenic and all the other stuff they are specifically looking for.
But I couldn’t be arsed. They can go fuck themselves. The results are a foregone conclusion anyway. Even if they set up their equipment in Intel’s clean rooms, they would find damning evidence against smokers, because that’s what they are being paid to find.
Incidentally….
Why are we Irish funding research in Aberdeen and Edinburgh?








