Archive for January, 2010

The best laid plans

January 13th, 2010

It just goes to show that you can never plan ahead.

I suppose Bat O’Keefe knows what I’m talking about?

Yesterday morning, the thaw set in with a vengeance.  The snow was clearing off the lawns and the place was beginning to look like it’s old scruffy self again.

At three in the afternoon, it began to snow.  And when I say snow, I mean a fucking blizzard.  The first casualty was my broadband.  Fucking thing just went dead.  By nightfall, which was only a couple of hours later, we had about four or five inches.

Then the satellite television went.

Then the power went.

Fuck that.  I went to bed with a candle and a bottle of whiskey.

I got up this morning, gagging for a cuppa to find there was still no power.  Fucking hell!!  No kettle.  No heating.  No fucking nothing.  I dragged out the old camping stove to make my cuppa but found it was out of gas.  That really made me see red.  The fucker was only 35 years old and it was out of gas already!

Anyway, this afternoon, the power came back.  Half my trees are down, a couple of phone lines were down and the hedges are wrecked.  The place is in a state of chassis but at least I am beginning to thaw out and I have my mug of tea.

Now I am going to relax and read all my emails that have been waiting since yesterday.

Both of them.

Political correctness is a load of bollocks

January 12th, 2010

Every now and then, someone gets a bee in their bonnet about the number of women in power.

I saw an article in a paper the other day where they are whinging about the lack of women in government in the UK, and we get the same thing over here from time to time.

I am all for equality within reason.  If a man and a woman are doing an identical job, then they should be treated equally.  I can’t see any argument against that.  But the Equality Nuts tend to bring the argument too far.  There are some things that men do better, and there are some things that women do better.

I am a great believer in looking back to our origins.  We started off as cave dwellers, where each gender had a specific function.  The men were designed as hunters and protectors, and the women were designed as child bearers and nurturers.  That is the way we are physically and psychologically designed.

Men [generally] are physically stronger, faster and more aggressive.  They have greater spatial awareness.  These are qualities needed to track down and kill their prey and also to defend their territory.  Women, on the other hand are more sensitive and emotional.  They are more caring and aware of others emotions.  These are the qualities of a mother and carer.  I’m not just talking about homo sapiens here either – it applies across the species.

So why is it so imperative that women should govern?

I have no objection to women being in power, though our present incumbents would tend to be a very strong argument against that stance.  I would go so far as to say that the likes of Mary Harney, Mary Coughlan, Beverly Cooper Flynn and Mary Hannafin are very strong and compelling arguments against allowing women into power.  They are fucking useless.  I’m not saying the men are any better, but they are certainly not worse.

Now the Brits are actually mooting the idea that laws should be enacted compelling women only candidates.  That is the greatest load of bollox I have ever heard [maybe the wrong expression, but you know what I mean?].  Why should a vagina be the qualification for a good representative?

In the past, I have had the misfortune to work for a couple of female managers.  They were a disaster.  The worst aspect was that if anything went wrong, their immediate response was not to solve the problem, but to burst into tears and start ranting at everyone around them.  Very fucking helpful.  I have had a few crap male managers too, but I never saw one cry.

The world is going to hell in a handcart.

I’ll tell you one thing though -

If they do insist on all female representatives, I will still reserve the right to call them a shower of cunts.

nude
Qualified to lead?

Who is Iris Robinson?

January 11th, 2010

I am sick to the back tooth from hearing about Iris Robinson.

It all started with Yer Man, the husband coming on the news and sobbing about his wife having an affair.  What?  Why the fuck should I care?  Why the fuck is he literally broadcasting it to the world?  If his missus had a drop of nookie on the side then surely that’s between him, her and the unfortunate who dipped his wick?  It’s nothing to do with you, me or anyone else for that matter.

OK, so she is an MP or a MLA or a MILF or something, but I still don’t see the relevance?

Then he broadcasts to the world that she has mental problems.

For fuck’s sake!  Everyone has problems, but there’s no need to shout about it.  Who the fuck doesn’t have depression these days?  If you are not depressed by now, then there is something seriously wrong with your state of mind.  If you are depressed, talk to your family or friends or your doctor.  Don’t hold a fucking press conference.  If you want to feel sorry for someone, feel sorry for the Shannon farmer who first of all saw his farm disappear under three feet of water and now is trying to farm ice-sheets.  Now there is someone with a real problem.

Then it transpires that she diverted some cash to The Happy Humper.  Now that is a little more serious, but it is still in the ha’penny place compared to our lot lending millions to TDs to invest in golf clubs and the like?  And even then, that is an issue for the locals to sort out and has fuck all to do with us Down South.  So why all the meeja interest here?

And I wish they’d stop showing us that nauseating staged kiss.  Are we supposed to feel all cuddly towards them for that? 

The last time I kissed Herself like that was in the courts.

And that was only because we were ordered to do so by the judge.

Blagh

January 10th, 2010

I was going to write about apathy today.

But fuck that.

I couldn’t be arsed.

How to shoot yourself in the foot

January 9th, 2010

I was browsing around the Interweb this morning, as is my wont.

I came across an interesting item by way of Dick Puddlecote that got me thinking.

Apparently the N.U.I in Galway are looking for volunteers to help them with their research. 

I like helping people out where possible, and in this particular case, they are looking for smokers, who don’t use gas as a primary means of fuel.  I fit the bill, as I’m not too fond of gas, and anyway there isn’t any up the mountains.

So what will I be helping them to research?

“We are looking to recruit households […] where there is at least one adult who smokes inside and where electricity and not gas is used to cook meals. With most people spending between 80 and 90% of their time indoors, the quality of the air that we breathe can play a significant role in our health and wellbeing. It is hoped that the information collected will tell us something about the concentration of various chemicals found in our homes.”

Ho kay.

They want to analyse the air quality that we breath for 80% to 90% of the time.  That’s fair enough.  In fact that is a laudable example of public interest research.  Let’s sign up.

But why do they mention smokers?

Maybe they want to prove that there are fewer chemicals in a house where there is a smoker?

Nah!  That can’t be it.

Maybe they are setting out to prove that a smoker’s house is full of lethal chemicals, and that smoking is likely to cause the imminent death of all householders and their children?  Strangely enough that has the ring of truth about it.

So let’s get this straight.  They want me [or you] to volunteer to help them prove that us [and you] smokers are killing everyone in the household?  Presumably this is to help any argument towards banning smoking in the home?  It’s hardly there to promote it?

I am very tempted to sign up.  For the duration of the test, I will give up smoking and instead will light the house using candles.  I can guarantee the air will be full of carbon monoxide, cyanide, arsenic and all the other stuff they are specifically looking for.

But I couldn’t be arsed.  They can go fuck themselves.  The results are a foregone conclusion anyway.  Even if they set up their equipment in Intel’s clean rooms, they would find damning evidence against smokers, because that’s what they are being paid to find.

Incidentally….

Why are we Irish funding research in Aberdeen and Edinburgh?

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