Head Rambles

Grandad February 15th, 2010

For a long time now, I have been meaning to do something with the links on this site.

There were a lot of people linking to this site, and I wasn’t linking back, which didn’t seem fair.  But who gives a shit about being fair?

Anyway, I decided to do something about it.  I very nicely asked those people in Google if they would kindly tell me all the links that people had clicked to arrive here.  They were quite obliging and sent me the list.

All 13,090 of them!

This was a bit of a pain in the arse, as I had to go through them removing pages that were sub-pages of the main site, if you know what I mean.

Then a lot of them were from comments that I had left on other sites [yes – I do comment occasionally].  And some of them were casual mentions, and some of them were on forums and shit like that.

After all the pruning, I then had to visit each site to make sure it was still working, and to get its name right.

I finally whittled the list down to 134.

So there are 134 sites out there that have bogrolls blogrolls that link here?  I’m flattered.

It was actually quite an interesting exercise, as I came across a few sites that I had never even heard of before.  The other thing I got a laugh from was the great names that you lot have thought up for your sites.  Where the fuck did you get them from?

Anyway – I then spent an age putting all those links onto a page on my site.  It doesn’t look very neat, and I may do something about it sometime, but all the links are there.  All 134 of them.  I had to put them on a separate page, otherwise the front page would have been so long, it would have scraped off the floor.

Another thing that amused me is that half link to Head Rambles, and half link to Grandad.  Make your fucking minds up!  One or two linked to “Grandad at Head Rambles” which made sense.

Now, I may have missed one or two.  Take a look, and if you have a link on your bogroll blogroll, but you ain’t on the list, just tell me.  I will probably ignore you as life can be cruel sometimes.

If you want to be put at the top of the list, just change your site name, as the list is alphabetical.

Which explains why Grannymar is cuddling up with Grumpy Old Twat.

Heh!

• Blogging
• Comments(10)

Grandad February 14th, 2010

Some mornings I feel quite stiff when I wake up.

I have found that one answer to this little problem is to partake in some vigorous exercise.

Invariably at times like this, my thoughts turn to my true love.

She always provides the solution.

• Rambles
• Comments(14)

Grandad February 13th, 2010

I don’t mind admitting when I am wrong.

In fact I can remember at least two occasions in my life where I had to change my opinion on something.  For example, there was the time [I think I was five at the time] when I said that Guinness didn’t taste nice.  It transpired that I shouldn’t have been dipping my rusks in it, and I was quite happy to admit that I was in error.

For a long time now, I held the opinion that Déirdre de Búrca was a slag.

She invariably riled my piss whenever she opened her mouth, and I found her to be arrogant, opinionated and to be one of those politicians who will do absolutely anything to stay in power [is there any other kind of politician?]

This week though, I had to change my mind.  For the first time, she cheered me up.  I found myself agreeing with her, one hundred percent.  I actually found myself admiring her.

My theory is that when you want to demolish someone, you do it as publicly as possible, and do it by telling the unvarnished truth.  Opinion and innuendo can be ignored, but not the truth.  This week, she launched a broadside salvo against Gormless and the Greens, and it was brilliantly done.

She told it exactly as it is.  She told the Greens that they will do anything to stay in power no matter how far up Fianna Fails rectum they have to climb.  She told them that they had sold out every principle they had.  She told them that they were a bunch of power crazed, lily livered hypocrites that will do absolutely anything to hold onto their Mercs and perks.

She told Gormless himself that he was selling the party on order to keep his moment of glory in the Dail.  She said he would do anything to hold onto power.  She all but accused him of sleeping with Biffo.

Fair play to her.

I have been watching the fallout and it is a joy to behold.  The Greens are going frantic trying to circle the wagons and have been coming up with some great lines.  I swear that yesterday I even heard that little wanker Trevor Sargent  claim that the Greens had recently created tens of thousands of jobs in the “Green Economy”.  I don’t know what or where the “Green Economy” is, but it certainly isn’t in Ireland as our unemployment rate continues to rise.

Yesterday, another opinion poll came out.  The Greens now stand at 2%.  Considering that there is a 3% margin for error, it looks like my prediction of the first ever negative result is on the cards, and earlier than I predicted.

Yes.  I was wrong.

Up to a few days ago, I wouldn’t.

But now I would.

• Politics
• Comments(17)

Grandad February 12th, 2010

I had quite a lot of things to write about today, but events sort of overtook me.

First there were the callers to the door, and then there were the phone calls.  All interrupted my natural flow, so I just never got a chance to put pen to paper, or should I say finger to keyboard?

I even had a call from Pullit to say that the smoking inspector was down in the pub causing trouble, so that meant a trip down there, followed by a diversion to the landfill.  People say that country life is quiet!  Hah!

I have a little problem with my writing that makes it a little difficult.

I have found that if I have an idea for a topic and mull it over in my mind then that is the end of that.  I cannot write if I have thought about it.  I know there are people out there who take notes and things like that, but that just doesn’t work for me.  Spontaneity is the name of the game here.  Actually, I would go so far as to say that spontaneity is too slow.

The only way I can write on a topic is to wait until a thought crosses my mind.  Once the idea arrives, it is a case of typing like the clappers until the thought is purged.  I don’t plan anything though.  I don’t think ahead.  I just type as the thoughts come so once I start, I haven’t a fucking clue what even the next sentence will be, let alone where it’s going to end.

As I said, I had a few thoughts this morning, but I can’t write about them now.  Too much time has passed, and I have had a chance to think about them – a fatal error – and if I tried writing about them then I would write totally nonsensical gibberish.  But then, you say, I write nonsensical gibberish anyway so what’s the difference?  The difference is that even I would be bored reading it.  By writing spontaneously, at least I have the pleasure of reading it after, as I honestly haven’t a fucking clue what I have written until I have written it.

It’s quite a strange experience writing this way.  I read back on the stuff I have just typed and wonder where that hell all that came from.

How does anyone else do it?

Do people really plan things before they write them?

Am I the only one who hasn’t a fucking clue where he is going?

• Blogging
• Comments(9)

Grandad February 11th, 2010

It’s that time of year again.

The snowdrops have been in flower for a few weeks now, [not that you could see them for snow, most of the time] and the daffydowndillies are getting ready to flower.  Best of all, the birds are singing their little hearts out.

Yes.  It’s that time of year for rampant sex in the garden.

The birds all go ballistic at this time and merrily shag each others brains out all over the place.  They have no sense of decorum at all.

I have been collecting Sandy’s hairs for the last couple of weeks, as she has been moulting like the clappers.  I have a large plastic bag full, waiting to go out into the garden.  The birds love those hairs, and almost literally kill for them, as they are ideal for nest building.  I usually put them out under a bush in a large wodge and then let battle commence.  It can be quite entertaining.

One thing that is different this year is the temperature.

On Sunday, it is the 14th.  The more brain-dead amongst you will be getting all excited about Valentine’s Day, which is the greatest load of shite ever invented.  Here at Head Rambles Manor however, the 14th is Frog Hump Day.  Every year, on the 14th of February the frogs meet up for a shagfest in our pond.  I don’t know how they know the date, but it is always the 14th.  On the 13th, the water of the pond will be its usual murky self, but on the morning of the 15th, it will be covered with frogspawn.  If you look out the window on the 14th, all you will see is a huge dark heaving mass of frogs as they all frantically fuck each others brains out.  They make quite a racket too.

This year, the pond is frozen over.

They will presumably turn up on Sunday expecting a nice wet stagnant lovenest, and instead are going to find a skating rink.  Presumably every thrust of the male is going to send the female slithering across to the other side of the pond?  [“Oy!  Come back here, Mavis!  I haven’t finished screwing you yet!”].  It should be interesting.  If it wasn’t so fucking cold out there, I’d mount a web camera to film the craic.

It’s not often you see frogs playing ice hockey.

• Around the garden
• Comments(9)