Homeland Security
Grandad April 16th, 2010
I did my annual purchase of a pair of underpants last week.
People may accuse me of being slovenly, but I do change my underpants on an annual basis.
But what the fuck is this lark of putting a button on the fly? I already have a zip on my outer trousers, so what do I need a button for?
There are times when Todger needs to make a quick exit. After a few pints, for example, or if some Young One wants a quick flash. Speed may be of the essence, and having to fumble my way through an extra layer of buttons can have disastrous consequences.
I presume it is something to do with underpants bombers? People are becoming paranoid about terrorists and security and all that shit.
I blame the Americans.
- Rambles
- Comments(16)
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lol
actually we at the EPA are concerned with the proper disposal of your underpants, certainly hazardous waste
But I don’t dispose of them. They are great for cleaning the windows.
Its been a while Grandad but you have left me without words….. well done!!
As usual, your conclusion is correct, but your reasoning is just all bolloxed.
American men need the extra reinforcement to keep our gigantic “Todgers” in check. Also in my case, I walk around a lot with my zipper down.
Kate – I do my best. ?
Sixty – You still haven’t got the hang of this metrication lark, have you? I hate to disillusion you, but because of this confusion, your todgers are actually half the size you think, and are in fact the laughing stock of Europe.
There’s no buttons on “Y” Fronts Grandad ..
Grandad, you’ve named your manhood Todger? Really? And you think we Americans have problems? Please!
Reading this made me choke on my tea! You’re lucky you didn’t kill me!
Take your trousers off when having a pint, only a little button to contend with then.
Stick some velcro on a pair and demonstrate on Dragons Den!
Investor ready!
What I don’t get is why are the button holes so much larger than the buttons? might as well have just left a large hole in the front of them.
Haddock – The shop didn’t have any Y-fonts in stock, only those shorts types with fucking buttons.
Star – Actually, his preferred name is Lazarus, as he is constantly rising from the dead.
DD – Good thinking. I don’t know what the lads down the pub would make of that though?
Mick – You could be onto something there! Could Sarah hold herself back though? We wouldn’t want the programme banned?
Kae – Er… Um… Never mind…..
Arrrgh .. Boxer Shorts, I bloody well hate them ..
I need a bit o’ support .. know what I mean ? ..
Grandad,
We Americans may blow a lot of “gas” in our shorts but we have never tried to blow ourselves up in them, unless of course there is a women involved???
Haddock – You mean a Zimmer Frame? I know how it is….
John – I thought it was you lot who were convinced that people were carrying bombs around in their underpants? Or was that just an excuse so you could use those ‘full body scanners’?
As always in America, who needs an excuse?!!!
True enough. Heh!