He is the image of every other baby
Grandad April 26th, 2010
I have always been amused at the different reactions babies elicit.
Nowhere is the difference between the emotions of men and women more profoundly illustrated than in the reaction to the sight of a new born baby.
I used to notice this in my working days. One of the women in the office would be careless, and get herself up the duff. The inevitable day would come when she would make her grand appearance back at the office, carrying a bundle of blanket. The reaction would be instantaneous – all the women in the office would make a mad scramble across desks and tables to be the first to see this mewling squawking lump. A few blokes were outed too, when they forgot themselves and joined in the rush. There would ensue a nauseating cacophony of squeals and coos and they would all say exactly the same thing – “isn’t he/she beautiful?”. This always struck me as absurd, as all babies look much the same. Some are wrinkled and some aren’t but apart from that they are just babies. While all this was going on, the blokes in the office would remain at their desks, cast their eyes to the heavens and carry on playing whatever computer game they were playing at the time.
Men tend to be far more pragmatic about such matters.
I went down to the pub last night, as tradition demands that I be brought a few pints on being a grandad [again]. In case of argument about my entitlements, I brought a couple of photographs.
I duly displayed the photographs and apart from a couple of grunts, the general line was “do you know who the father is?” I ignored that, as my daughter’s private life is her own, but it illustrated perfectly the gender difference in reactions.
Someone else remarked that she was awfully young to be having babies, but I pointed out that that was Puppychild, and not my daughter.
Just to be on the safe side, I examined Tom to see if he resembles anyone.
To me he just looks like a bad tempered drunk sleeping off last night’s binge.
He’s the image of his Da.
- The Family
- Comments(19)
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I see you are starting him smoking at an early stage or are those Silk Cut belonging to Puppychild?
They belong to Puppychild. I have already started explaining to her about the etiquette of sharing cigarettes.
Tsk, tsk Grandad!
She’s a bit late to the fags. I sincerely hope you haven’t embarrassed us with her drinking late as well? She should be stocious by now but she is handling that wean with remarkable dexterity.
For shame!
CR.
Wadya mean – late to the fags? She’s been on twenty a day since she was three months, as my daughter can testify. Breastfeeding and cigarettes don’t mix very well.
oh! congrats! he IS beautiful
Three months my arse. Mine were both smoking IN THE WOMB!!
Actually, I can go further. They were chuffing away when they were contained within my vas deferens! (There’s an image for you…).
CR.
Ahh shure it’s a grand baba. A credit to you. You are always thinking of new ways to get readers. Now you use the baby trick, just like a politician. Or one of those annoying ads that use kids to promote adult products such as pensions or electricity.
Just like all males. You couldn’t just put some pics of the lovely little doll without surrounding it with witty remarks. Yes, I am male too.
A grand baba altogether. A credit to you.
I’ll have a black bush in his honour later.
Shannon – Go on outa that! He’s just like any other baby. Smells the same too.
Ranty – Respect!! I made mine give up years ago. Forty million packs a day was just proving a little expensive.
Kerryview – will you feck off out of that. I put the photographs up a) to prove how he is no different, and b) to satisfy all those gushy women who want something to coo over. I might join you for that Black Bush though?
Must be a man. Not a fan of things that leak at both ends!
Tell puppychild to switch to the silk cut lights will you for feck sake.
It’s a marvel how old farts think they’re giving something away if they dare to show even a smidgen of emotion for a newborn. Why the fuck don’t you just tear up like a big boy and rejoice in the miracle?
Oh yeah, and congratulations to all concerned, the tiny one looks like a keeper. More than could ever have been said about you.
Baino – You make him sound like a tube of toothpaste. Incidentally, he has been rechristened – Sir Fartzalott.
Martin – Far be it from me to step between a child and her choice of smokes. If she likes the Purple, she can smoke the Purple.
Paulo – For fuck’s sake! The child is less than two days old and you have him marked down as a kleptomaniac! And why should I rejoice? Who do you think is earmarked for years of babysitting?
So cute! (the babby).
lovely, is it a boy or a child ?
-good to see the positive side of the gene “pool” is still full and crystal clear!
Gingermick – Can I count on you as a babysitter then?
Eejit – Yes.
John – The one hope for humanity is that the Grandad gene is very strong and tends to anihilate any other genes. As Sir Fartzalott is a direct descendent, this means he is 100% pure Grandad. Heh!
Just scrolled down and found out you are a GD again! Hearty Congratulations to you and all your family. Little Tom is a smasher!
All babies look the same to me. If I have a nipper I’ll need to put a sticker on it’s forehead.