What a load of shit
Grandad May 24th, 2010
I read an article by Pete Wedderburn today.
Pete is a vet who likes to spread himself around with newspaper articles, radio and television appearances and even the occasional bit of veterinary practice. Now I know Pete quite well. He and I have shared a few laughs in the past over Sandy’s antics, and he is a bloke I normally respect. He has really pissed me off now though.
Pete thinks it’s a good idea to use surveillance cameras, which are supposed to be for anti-terrorism purposes, to spy on people who don’t clean up their dogs’ shit.
What the fuck is he thinking?
Once again, the Nanny State has decided that dog shit is not only a criminal offence but is now an act of terrorism.
Stepping in dog poo is not a pleasant experience, mainly because you invariably don’t realise you have done it until you have walked it into the carpet. There is a very simple solution to this little problem – don’t do it. If people spent more time looking where they were walking and less time playing with their fucking mobiles phones, they would arrive home with pristine shoes.
I have never scooped a poop. I wouldn’t demean my dog. She is embarrassed enough by her toiletry functions without drawing attention to the little piles. I just leave them there to dry, and then practice my golf swings with them. In fact, I had an excellent round of golf yesterday with all the excrement left behind by our K8’s mutt.
Of course the Nanny State [and Pete] uses the old chestnut about Toxocara. The latter is an very rare disease, and if you don’t want your kids to catch it, then don’t let them play with dog turds. It’s as simple as that.
Of course Ireland is going one better than the UK, in that our horses have to wear nappies. For fuck’s sake! Are people so offended now by a little drop of shit that even horses have to be humiliated? If you don’t like the smell of nature then fuck off back to your sanitised apartment and drown yourself in air freshener.
I am going to have to have a serious talk with Pete the next time I see him. I will ask him if he ever got caught short while out in the countryside and did he nip behind a bush? And what did he do with his his little deposit? Did he bring it home with him?
Let he who has never shit cast the first stone.
- The Nanny State
- Comments(8)
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I saw a man scooping crap into an empty lunchbox once. I hope he confused it for last night’s Irish Stew.
Depends on how liquid it was? Reminds me about the woman who had a whiskey bottle full of urine stolen [she was on her way to the hospital with a sample]. Heh!
Some people can lose the plot a bit when they start talking just for the sake of it. Might be time your friend took a break from doing that stuff.
I’m sure he would be only delighted if I told him that!!
My hubby had an unfortunate incident involving an unscooped shite and his brush cutter while clearing brambles on a property he manages. On contact with the brush cutter the shite spattered everywhere. He works his guts out making sure this property is well maintained for these pricks to walk their dogs only to be sprayed with shite when keeping their footpaths clear. Poor guy was banned from his workshop til he was hosed down with the pressure washer.
My neighbor’s dog crapped on my stoop once. Strangest thing ; the dog vanished the next day. That evening I enjoyed a very nice meat vindaloo at my friend Rao’s Indian restaurant.
Becky – It is a well known fact that manure is essential for strong growth. I bet your hubby bloomed magnificently that summer?
TT – Do you play golf? I find a sand-wedge to be ideal for lobbing tog turds over into the neighbours. For God’s sake don’t use a wood though. You are liable to annoy the neighbouring parish.
They now have little designer containers of the FULL poop bags. My dog tends to be a bit precious about shitting in full view of everyone so she normally goes behind a tree. So do I, in fact.
I just can’t agree with you on that, Grandad. Certainly, using security cameras for chasing secret poopers is a crazy idea, and dangerous for the future, but I think that dog owners should be collecting their dogs’ shite. In the cities. Come on, you live in Wicklow (envy mode on)! It’s not a concern for you. But it is truly different in a big and busy city.