Archive for June, 2010

I am the new nigger

June 8th, 2010

We decided to bring Sandy with us on holidays this year.

I thought that may be a problem, as a lot of places don’t like dogs.  I can sort of understand that, as some places just aren’t suitable – they may be on a busy road or have no garden.  Dogs have also been known to shed a hair or two.  Maybe there are already dogs next door and the constant barking could be a problem.  Maybe there is a farm nearby and there could be problems with animal worrying.  There are many reasons for not wanting a dog or two around the place.

It turned out that Sandy wasn’t a problem.  Quite a few places are more than happy to take dogs. 

The problem was the new “No niggers or Irish need apply” syndrome.

Virtually every single advertisement clearly stated “no smokers”.  Some even went so far as to capitalise it.  “NO SMOKERS”.

Why?

Are they afraid of the fire risk?  It is strange then that there is no mention of chip lovers?  “NO DEEP FAT FRIERS ALLOWED”.

Are they afraid of the smell?  “NO PERFUME WEARERS or SUFFERERS OF INCONTINENCE NEED APPLY”.

No.  It is deeper than that.  Smokers are now perceived as a sub-species that shouldn’t be allowed into any decent establishment  We are the new pariahs, the new outcasts that taint any decent respectable society.

It annoys me that this is now the acceptable face of Irish society.  Smokers are scum who don’t deserve a holiday.  No decent village wants smokers moving amongst them.  But no one is shouting discrimination.

It is the deliberate singling out of smokers that pisses me off.  They don’t refuse holidays to alcoholics, the obese, paeophiles, politicians or even people from Cavan.  Anybody is allowed except smokers.

I have been toying with the idea of quitting smoking for a week so I can have a decent holiday.

I will be taking up arson as a hobby instead.

The happiest days of my life

June 7th, 2010

Whoever said that schooldays are the happiest days of your life is either a freak, a masochist or suffering from severe memory loss.

I fucking hated school.

I hated every fucking minute from the first day in junior infants up to the day I left.

Then I went to college.

Ahhhhh!  Those were the days.

College days were difficult, I don’t deny.  There was a lot of drinking, womanising and general carousing to be done, and it was hard on the old body, but it was fun.

In general, my days consisted of turning up in college, deciding to skip lectures and ending up in either the canteen playing cards, or in the pub.  Hard work.  In fact, I had so much hard work to cram into my days that I rarely got to bed before three or four.  This meant of course that I rarely woke again before three or four in the afternoon, when the whole hectic schedule would have to start all over again.

Now that I have retired, I have discovered to my amazement and delight that I am reverting to my student lifestyle.  Of course I no longer have the onerous duty of skipping lectures, but the main lifestyle is there.  I don’t even need a student card to avail of discounts, as I am entitled to my pensioner discounts anyway.  Students and OAPs are internationally recognised as being a special group – just look at any ticket sales brochures.

Of course, age has taken its toll, and I’m not as good at the cards as I used to be, but it’s amazing how quickly I fitted back into the other patterns.

I must apologise for the lateness of this little brainfart.

I’m only just out of bed.

Heh!

All alone and abandoned

June 6th, 2010

I have been giving a little thought as to what to do with this site in my absence.

Not much thought – just a little thought.

About two second’s worth.

I don’t know how long I shall be away for.  I have booked a place for a week, so it will be at least that long.  Maybe I may contemplate staying a bit longer.  It all depends on whether the weather is nice; if I can find decent accommodation that doesn’t object to dogs, pipes or drunken wives or if I feel like it.  So I maybe away for a week.  Or two.  Or three.  Or fuckit I may decide to stay permanently.

One way or another, this site ain’t going to be updated.

I don’t know what will happen.  I imagine people will just quietly forget about it, and gently remove it from their readers or their bookmarks or whatever.  I will come back to a site that is only found by people looking for ‘senior citizen porn’ or ‘I need sex every hour’ [yup – had someone use that at four this morning.  I wonder how they got on?].

I did toy with the idea of writing a series of little articles and preloading them, but these days I have enough trouble finding something to write about once, let alone seven or eight times.

I thought about republishing some old posts, and even went so far as to look for some good ones.  Couldn’t find any.  Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

I did think about asking someone to write a guest post or two, but who the fuck would want to bother?  What would anyone gain by writing on this site [apart from fantastic publicity and prestige]?

So it looks like it is just going to be abandoned. 

Like an old building, it will slowly crumble, the roof will fall in and trees will grow where the About page once stood.

I shall return to a ruin.  There shall be dust where once there were tears and laughter.  There shall be a pile of bricks where once stood a proud wall of HTML.  Weeds shall be growing where there was once a magnificent banner image.

And I shall probably laugh.

The truth is out there

June 5th, 2010

Here we go again.

From an interview with pulmonologist Professor Philippe Even, retired president of the prestigious Research Institute Necker.

What do the studies on passive smoking tell us?

PHILIPPE EVEN. There are about a hundred studies on the issue. First surprise: 40% of them claim a total absence of harmful effects of passive smoking on health. The remaining 60% estimate that the cancer risk is multiplied by 0.02 for the most optimistic and by 0.15 for the more  pessimistic … compared to a risk multiplied by 10 or 20 for active smoking! It is therefore negligible. Clearly, the harm is either nonexistent, or it is extremely low.

It is an indisputable scientific fact. Anti-tobacco associations report 3 000-6 000 deaths per year in France …

I am curious to know their sources. No study has ever produced such a result.

Many experts argue that passive smoking is also responsible for cardiovascular disease and other asthma attacks. Not you?

They don’t base it on any solid scientific evidence. Take the case of cardiovascular diseases: the four main causes are obesity, high cholesterol, hypertension and diabetes. To determine whether passive smoking is an aggravating factor, there should be a study on people who have none of these four symptoms. But this was never done. Regarding chronic bronchitis, although the role of active smoking is undeniable, that of passive smoking is yet to be proven. For asthma, it is indeed a contributing factor … but not greater than pollen!

The purpose of the ban on smoking in public places, however, was to protect non-smokers. It was thus based on nothing?

Absolutely nothing! The psychosis began with the publication of a report by the IARC, International Agency for Research on Cancer, which depends on the WHO (Editor’s note: World Health Organization). The report released in 2002 says it is now proven that passive smoking carries serious health risks, but without showing the evidence. Where are the data? What was the methodology? It’s everything but a scientific approach. It was creating fear that is not based on anything.

Why would anti-tobacco organizations wave a threat that does not exist?

The anti-smoking campaigns and higher cigarette prices having failed, they had to find a new way to lower the number of smokers. By waving the threat of passive smoking, they found a tool that really works: social pressure. In good faith, non-smokers felt in danger and started to stand up against smokers. As a result, passive smoking has become a public health problem, paving the way for the Evin Law and the decree banning smoking in public places. The cause may be  good,  but I do not think it is good to legislate on a lie. And the worst part is that it does not work: since the entry into force of the decree, cigarette sales are rising again.

Why not speak up earlier?

As a civil servant, dean of the largest medical faculty in France, I was held to confidentiality. If I had deviated from official positions, I would have had to pay the consequences. Today, I am a free man.

Le Parisien

The original in La Parisien

Translation lifted from CAGE

Tip of the cap to The Ashtray Blog

Reminding me not to be a killer

June 4th, 2010

If I were running this Godforsaken country, one of the first things I would do is to scrap the Road Safety Authority.

Useless bunch of pricks.

They are whinging again. 

“The Road Safety Authority is reminding people to avoid "obvious killer behaviour" such as speeding, drinking or taking drugs while driving.”

Well – Holy Fuck!  Here was I about to get tanked up on cocaine and whiskey and then see if I could make Cork in half an hour.  Isn’t it so lucky that the RSA has reminded me?  I might have done myself an injury.

I would love to know what that shower of wasters cost the state every year.  Apart from their undeserved salaries, there are all those over expensive and useless advertisements and all those irritating signs stuck all over the countryside.  Do I really need to know how many people are killed in each county I drive through?  Is it going to make the blindest difference to the way I drive?

I think the reason the RSA piss me off so much is the way they epitomise the Nanny State.  Their sole function is to save us from ourselves.  And like the rest of the Nanny State, punishment for the sins of the few is vested on us all.  If they had their way, we would all be driving around at 15 kmph and taking a breathalyser test every five minutes. 

They fail to see one very simple little fact – the vast majority of us know what the fuck we are doing.  It’s the boy racers in their souped up Golfs that are causing the havoc, along with the gobshites in their Beamers and SUVs, so let the RSA go after them and leave the rest of us alone.  But no – they have to nag us all the time.  They have to come up with their namby pamby little “statements” so they can justify their petty existence.  They have to come up with oh-so-clever catchphrases like “speed kills”.  Big fucking deal.

Fuck them.

I am going for a drive this weekend.  I hadn’t intended to, but they have persuaded me.

I am going to burn me some rubber.

I am going to put the pedal to the metal.

I am going to goose the juice.

And if I come across any old chat show hosts – they are straight into the ditch.

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