Urges
Grandad August 14th, 2010
I have a terrible urge on me.
It is an urge, nay a hankering and a longing that would rival that of any heroin addict who hasn’t had a fix.
I want to be in France.
The problem though is that I don’t want to go to France; I just want to be there.
I want to be where the air is hot and dry. I want to be where mooching around in nothing but a pair of shorts is the norm. I want to spend my days drifting from village to village sampling the coffee, and the evenings supping wine out on the terrace.
The big problem is getting there.
It’s a long way, and it is fucking expensive.
Firstly it means I am hostage to the fortunes of Irish Ferries, who charge through the nose for the privilege of being fleeced in the mobile cash cow they call a ferry. Then it means at least one night in a hotel on the way down, and a shed load of driving. Not that I mind the driving – I don’t, but it a long way, and Herself begins to complain.
Then there is the problem of Sandy.
She doesn’t have a passport [yet], so that means leaving her either in a kennels, or at the mercy of my daughter. I’m sure my daughter doesn’t mind, but I know Sandy would prefer to be living with a couple of old codgers and not with an extremely lively family. Our Sandy likes the quiet life.
So I’m stuck here with my hankerings. Cork is a lovely place but the heat isn’t quite the same. It’s a humid heat, and I like a dry heat.
I wish the urge would go away.
Has anyone got any heroin?
- Holidays
- Comments(14)
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GD, you have a knack for missing the obviuos. Fly. I hear flights are cheap in Yurop. Also try a different country for a change. If not I have friends in Carcassone if you want somewhere to stay for free.
TT – Many reasons why I don’t fly. I like to bring a lot of luggage. I don’t like all those security checks [I'm always afraid of what they may find]. I like to travel around a lot when I get to my destination. Going by car solves all those problems. As for going somewhere else? France is the nearest, apart from the UK, and they aren’t much different from here.
What, you want a different outfit to wear every night? And you could rent a car when you get there.
TT – You obviously don’t know Herself.
Renting would probably cost what we would save on the ferry fare anyway.
Try hitching. They’d all be falling over themselves to pick you up.
On the other hand, the last time I tried it in France I fell in with a crocked British paratrooper and then a creepy skimpy shorts stroker, I preferred the para.
http://www.blackwatertown.wordpress.com
# Blackwatertown on 14 Aug 2010 at 7:02 pm
“On the other hand, the last time I tried it in France I fell in with a crocked British paratrooper and then a creepy skimpy shorts stroker, I preferred the para” ..
I’ve just sprayed my keyboard with tea (via my nose) … I thought for a moment you said you fell in with a “creepy skimpy shorts stoker” …
It could be worse. Ir could have been a “creepy skimpy short stoker”. Those midget engine room boys are buggers.
A long way? A long way? Try 26 hours in an Air France jumbo, now that’s a long way. I’ll send you a postcard in September.
Baino – Door to door usually takes us about 54 hours going down and around 80 hours to come back. Stop whinging.
Grandad on 14 Aug 2010 at 10:45 pm
“It could be worse. Ir could have been a “creepy skimpy short stoker”. Those midget engine room boys are buggers” …
Yes .. so I’m led to believe Grandad ..
Anyway, why would anyone in their right mind want to go to France in the first place ? … Its full of French people.
If you want somewhere warm, interesting, friendly, with good food & drink .. head for Italy …. now there’s a country well worth visiting ..
Moscow? should get a room pretty cheap too!
BTW – bit like the Riviera down here today
I’m still shuddering.
Shudder.
France is a nice place to visit but not to stay. The biggest problem I have with the place is like someone mentioned – its full of French people!
Welcome, Vespasian. It is indeed full of bloody French. What’s worse, they all insist on gabbling in a foreign language. Thoughtless, I call it.