Pretentious wankers
Grandad October 2nd, 2010
What is this obsession with stupid fucking words?
Since the financial crisis started we have been subjected to a whole new batch, and they really fucking irritate me.
The three that are bandied about most are “subordinated”, “hair-cut” and “tranche”.
The problem with these words is that no one has a fucking clue what they mean, but people use the words as it makes them sound important. I can just imagine an economics correspondent having a wild orgasm as he types “tranche” into his latest report. It makes him feel good. Like the rest of us, he doesn’t know what it means, but it makes him sound like an insider who really knows what he is talking about, and it makes him feel oh so important.
I know what “hair cut” means. It’s that thing that we used to get for a shilling on Saturday mornings back in the fifties and sixties – that thing that is now called a hair style. Not any more though. Now apparently it means a discount or something. They keep waffling on about NAMA buying debt with a fucking hair cut. What in the name of all that’s fucking holy are they talking about. What moronic idiot came up with that expression? Why can’t they just use the word “discount”?
I had to look up the words “subordinated” and “tranche”. They are both words that are used exclusively by financiers and accountants. Now few of us are accountants and even fewer have aspirations in that direction so why use word that only an accountant will understand? After all, a doctor may talk about “infectious mononucleosis” but we talk about Glandular Fever, which is the same thing but in layman’s terms. If a layman talks about “infectious mononucleosis” it just makes him sound like a pretentious wanker.
I am begging everyone to please stop using those words. There are many alternatives. You can surely talk about a batch of loans that are bought at a discount, instead of a tranche with a hair cut? You can surely come up with a better word than subordinated? You see, if you do that, we will all know what you are talking about.
And you won’t sound like a fucking arsehole.
- Rambles
- Comments(10)
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The word “tranche” I noticed recently is appearing in all sorts of articles in all the the news papers. In articles that have nothing to do with finance.
Seriously, pick up one of todays papers and I bet that word will be used somewhere in it.
Word of the year I reckon. Even though that word annoys me and I will forever associate it with NAMA.
Here we go. An article in today’s Indo about the Ryder Cup:
“With no further delays, this third tranche of games should conclude in time tomorrow for the final session of singles matches to get under way before midday.”
http://www.independent.ie/sport/golf/faldo-words-back-to-haunt-organisers-2361773.html
Gravitas has been doing the rounds lately. Oh, and a brace of goals. Jusy say “two” you pompous twat.
Robert – To use the word within context is pretentious wankerism. To use it out of context, simply because it’s the mot de jour is piss-poor journalism and any journalist who uses it should be fired immediately for failing to understand the basic tool of their trade.
TT – There are quite a few. The one that really riles me when it comes from our beloved politicians is “difficult decisions”. We hear that one around ten times in any ministerial speech.
Well a few years ago this country was “awash with money”, then as the recession came in we had a “sea change” of something or other.
And a couple of weeks ago Brian Cowen was involved in a “confluence of events” which led to a drunken moronic radio interview.
And RTE’s economics editor likes talking about thousands of millions instead of billions.
Its the language of the clique Grandad. Irish politicans and journalists love giving the impression they know more than the voters and readers.
In truth those who set themselves up as an authority on a subject always seek to use the language of that clique or the particular profession involved.
Anyone who claims to know how economics in a chaotic system works is a liar- otherwise there’d be no such thing as booms and busts in economic cycles.
For the same reason people involved in the computers/technology sector almost always speak in abbreviations of technical terms. It gives others the impression that they are so familiar with and know everything about the technology…
Just the usual human ego attempting to promote itself via language.
Caligula – Someone pointed out that the government is constantly having U-turns. They also pointed out that four U-turns will bring us pack to where we started. That actually makes sense!
Cap’n – As one who dabbled in the computer business, I confess I never used those fucking acronyms. They confused the hell out of me. I just wish people would use language as it’s intended to be used.
To be fair it is a fairly common French word, not exclusive to finance. Just means ‘a slice’ I think.
Prudent… the word of the Gorgon. Etched into my brain for all time sadly.
Most of the politicians are using the jargon of the day to hide their ignorance about how any of this economics stuff works.