Archive for 2010

Let joy be unconfined

December 21st, 2010

I love this day.

For me, the Winter Solstice is the highlight of a dreary winter, as it is the day when it stops getting darker each evening.  At 11:38pm tonight, the sun will start its slow but inexorable climb back up the heavens.  Each evening I shall rejoice in the fact that days are getting longer.

Normally we would still have the worst of the winter excesses ahead of us, as January and February are usually the worst months for weather.  It is going to be interesting to see what this winter can throw at us as if it is going to get worse,then fun and games shall abound.  As I write this, Global Warming is once again falling – we have had a couple of inches of it since I got up.  Once again, records are being broken on successive nights as the temperatures fall lower and lower.  If the worst is yet to come then it shall be interesting to say the least.

Tonight I shall raise a glass to celebrate this day of days.

I doubt I’ll bother dancing naked in the garden.

Too fucking cold.

Drinkie poos

December 20th, 2010

Back in the Bad Old Days, this was a week I dreaded.

It was the week of the office drinks.

I enjoy a sup as well as the next man, and generally I am not that fussy about where I sup my sup.  I can drink at the bar or in a lounge.  I can enjoy a wee dram by the fire at home.  I can neck a can in the garden or on the beach.  As Herself would say – I would drink drink off a sore leg.  In fact I would go so far as to say I will drink anywhere, with one major exception.

There is one place where the finest whiskey will taste like drain cleaner, or a can of stout will go down like a lead baloon, and that is in an office.

The week before Christmas was traditionally the time when the various departments in my place of employment would open the bottom drawers in their filing cabinets and produce the booze.  We were then expected to go around the various departments and “show our faces”.  I fucking hated that lark, but orders were orders and we had to do it.  I usually fucked off to the pub in the sure and certain knowledge that the various offices would be too pissed to notice whether I was there or not.

There is something very very wrong about drinking in an office.  You can’t slop a pint down anywhere in case you would drench some important memo.  You can’t sit anywhere as there are only enough chairs for the staff of that office and naturally they are always taken.  Worst of all though is the conversation.  The only topic is work, naturally enough.  You are surrounded by computers, phones and filing cabinets so it is impossible to get away from the subject.

This is one week when I am particularly glad I don’t work any more.

Seasonality

December 18th, 2010

I came across this on my travels -

Happy Birthday, Boston Tea Party

December 17th, 2010

A guest post by Willie.

-oOo-

Time has come to celebrate the annual Boston Tea Party!  It has been going on since 1777 when the upstanding citizens of Boston decided to fling perfectly good tea in the Boston Harbor.  This mild reaction to the Tea Tax seemed to piss off the Good King George and his buddies at the East India Tea Company.  Afterward all, who were these piss ants, anyway?  Can’t an honest, humble monopoly make a few hard earned bucks on on a bunch of nincompoops?  After all, taxes to help the rich out with their lifestyles doesn’t seem to be too asking much?  Those lowly colonial types just had no sense of humor.

In the short years since the First Birthday Party, there seems to be a fairly rocky relationship between the various Kings and Queens of England and the trappers, hunters, merchants, and farmers of the Colonies.  To call it a love/hate relationship would be mild indeed. The two sides have both fought wars against each other and fought wars on the same side.  Currently, there seems to be a Mexican stand-off, so to speak.

Taking a quantum leap to 2009, the New Tea Party was born in reaction to being TAXED ENOUGH ALREADY!  It seems that these good citizens also have a gripe with the way they were being taxed, or so they claimed.  Their hard-earned tax dollars were going to bail out banks, car companies, insurance giants, and whoever else could whine enough.  They have a decent point except they failed to see that the mess which caused the hemorrhaging of bucks faster than one could say “BAILOUT” was caused and created by the reckless and unchecked spending of the 8 year reign of King George W. Bush and his War of Terror.  The more recent Tea Party found a real voting crowd and manage to throw a flock of folks into the water.  History does repeat itself, sometimes.

Here is the biggest news yet.  Just three days ago, a new political party was hatched.  It’s the “NoLables” Party.  This group lays claim to the middle ground and wants no designation that it is Republican, Democrat, Independent, or Whatever.  It says it is sick and tired of the extreme political stances, claims, counterclaims, charges and bull shit that is flying back and forth.  It even launched a website which is very much needed in today’s rough and tumble world of 21st Century politics.

They do make some decent points.  But how can I call myself a “NoLabel’ when a chap asks me what am I politically?  What the hell does it mean, “NoLabel”?  It is somewhat like asking, “You know the sound of two hands clapping.  What is the sound of one hand clapping?”   I was going to the County Clerk’s office today to register as a “NoLabels” type, but I have a better idea.

I am, here and now, announcing my own political party.  (drum roll)   It is  SEA-Screwed Enough Already!  I expect millions to join me right after GD approves and publishes this announcement in his blog.  Feel free to ask about my platform via comments.    Some will whisper the dreaded word, “anarchy”.

Willie

Granny

BAIL’EM OUT!!! ???? Hell, back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada  for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it.. They failed and it closed.. Now, we are trusting the economy of our country, our banking system, our auto industry and possibly our health plans to the same nit-wits who couldn’t make money running a whore house and selling whiskey?!”

“What the Hell are we thinking?”

Six inches of Global Warming

December 16th, 2010

When is this fucking Global Warming going to end?

Last month we had record breaking falls of Global Warming.  I have never seen so much in November before.  Virtually every night the temperature reached record levels, with each night breaking the previous night’s record.

Now they are issuing severe weather alerts with further falls of Global Warming expected from tomorrow onwards.

And before any smart arse gets their nose in, I know the difference between climate and weather.  If we had say five inches of Global Warming and it left it at that, I would say that is weather.  However this latest batch of Global Warming is international, continent wide, unprecedented and occurring for more that just one year.  Last year was shit too, but yiz have all forgotten about that by now?

Our gubmint is going frantic at the moment buying up stocks of salt for the roads.  They were caught with their pants down before and are trying to make amends this winter. 

But why are they buying salt?

For as long as I can remember, roads were gritted with sand [or grit?] and it did a perfectly good job.  There are countless tons of the stuff lying around the country.  During the spell of Global Warming last winter, there was pandemonium as there wasn’t enough salt.  A few quarry owners stepped up to the mark and offered free sand for the roads.  Did the gubmint take them up on their offer?  Did they fuck!  They just ordered tons more salt at God knows what cost.

Salt is bad stuff.  It corrodes cars, is expensive and is also bad for any animal that walks on it.  Sand, on the other hand is readily available, cheap [or free] and doesn’t damage anyone, or anything.  The only drawback with sand is the small mess it makes after the Global Warming has thawed. Considering that most of our roads are falling asunder, I would have thought that a wee drop of sand wouldn’t make the blindest bit of difference.  So why the fuck are the gubmint using salt?  It makes no sense whatsoever, especially as we are supposed to be broke.

The longer I live, the more confused I become.

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