The other Grandad
Grandad February 15th, 2011
I had to nip down to the village earlier.
While I was down there, I thought I would drop into Doc’s surgery. Don’t worry – I’m not sick or anything – it’s just that he owes me a few bob after a poker session the other night.
Before I go any further, I should explain that Doc insists on locating his surgery upstairs. This is apparently a deliberate ploy on his part as he says that it cuts down drastically on the number of patients [such as those with broken lower limbs or those with arthritis] so he has more time to himself.
Anyhows, I entered the front door, and there were two old dears coming down the stairs. As they were both old enough to be my granny, I stood to one side to let them down. They took ages. Finally they reached the bottom step and the younger of the two realised I was there. She squinted at me, and I saw a flash of recognition on her face.
“Howya Mick!” says she.
“Howya!” says I in return, just to be polite.
The older then peered at me which was slightly unnerving.
“Ah, hello Mick!” the older one said.
“Hello!” says I.
They made their way out the door, presumably wondering why Mick wasn’t very chatty today.
I saw them again a wee while later when I entered the grocers. They both glared at me and one remarked to the other that Mick turning very rude in his old age.
I don’t know who this Mick is, but I’ll have to find him. I can’t have blokes wandering freely in the countryside if they look anything like me. That is just not on. I have a reputation to upkeep.
This village is only big enough for one of us.
- Around the village
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That’ll be Groandad Nua … going forward. I bet he recycles and gave up the pipe years ago too the bastard.
Gadzooks !!
I’ve heard of fellers claiming they were once in the SAS (they’re known as “Walts” .. as in Mitty)
But a “Walt” Grandad ? ..
Can’t possibly be tolerated .. out with the oul’ Tourist hunting gun .. eh ? ..
Could be you have an evil twin. Second thoughts that would make two of ye. Or maybe the ladies were English; calling all Irish guys Mick.
It’s not me, honest. I’m Jacques
I used to work with four Micks none of whom had the letter M in their real names!
Might it be the dreaded Mickey Finn? Also, that are a lot of theories being knocked around about a parallel universe. Scary, huh?
Cap’n Con – Could you please avoid that fucking expression – “going forward”? It’s all I am hearing from the fuckits and their election promises.
TT – I don’t think they were English. They never would have survived the trip.
A Grandad – You were the first person I though of. I may have to eliminate you, if that is OK?
Bill – I used to work with hundreds of ‘em, but all their names were spelt with a Pr.
Willie – Have you have been watching Star Trek again?
Willie watching Startrek ? He was in it.
…………..waiting for royalties…………..waiting……….waiting…………
Waiting for GD to get off his lazy,bony ass and write something today.
Maybe we could get The Other Grandad to write his fuckin’ blog for him. Hope the old twat’s OK.
It seems to me that GD could just find some other old fart’s blog, copy and paste it, as it were his.
Twenty Major ?
That’s the one I had in mind…but a few misspellings thrown in may help to be a cover.
Fuck off!! I have my standards.
GD lives!!!