Archive for March 29th, 2011

Awesome yoof

March 29th, 2011

Are they putting something in the water?

Is it all the additives in the food we eat?

Whatever it is, the modern youth [or yoof, as I prefer to call ‘em] must be one of the dimmest in Earth’s history.

Can anyone explain to me how a government can rip the arse off its people like our last lot just did, yet the yoof of Ireland said or did very damn little?  There were no protest marches or any kind of public unrest, yet if a new model of the iPhone was announced, they would queue overnight in their hundreds to lay their hands on it.  If the new model weren’t up to expectations the Interweb would light up and there would be riots in the streets.  If Facebook is inaccessible for more than five minutes you can hear the howls of anguish across the Irish Sea.

In my day, we used to grab whatever underwear brochure we could find, and have a quick flick-off behind the shed.  Nowadays, they happily pump the sausage while reading the latest specifications for the newest 3G phone.

I grant you that not all yoof is like that.  There are still some reasonably intelligent specimens around.  There is a simple but effective yardstick by which you can tell whether or not they are of the brain dead variety – just listen to their speech and as soon as you hear the word ‘awesome’ you know you have struck gold.

Of all the irritations that abound in modern society, the word ‘awesome’ surely must be there with the chance of a medal.  It is used in the most ridiculous contexts yet nobody bats an eyelid.  ‘Awesome’ is an adjective which means ‘inspiring awe’.  You first glimpse of the Grand Canyon could legitimately be described as awesome, but now the word is used to cover every facet of life that is marginally better than mediocre.

I notice that a new generation of Awesome Yoof has emerged where the word ‘awesome’ has nauseatingly morphed into a series of new words – ‘awesomest’ and ‘awsomely’.  I was looking for a thing on the Interweb the other day and came across a device called the ‘Awesombar’ [It did exactly what I wanted but there was no way I could use something with a shite name like that, so I continued my search].

Whenever I hear the word ‘awesome’ now, I automatically switch off.  I cannot read or listen any further as the writer or speaker has lost all credibility.

I blame Twitter and Facebook.