Danger – road ahead
Grandad April 6th, 2011
It was quite nippy last winter.
We had record low temperatures, a lot of snow and a shed-load of burst water mains. Because of this, our roads are not what you might call pristine. In fact a lot of roads were pretty badly damaged.
Now some fucking idiot is demanding that the gubmint spend millions on the roads, as they [the roads, not the gubmint, though maybe…..] aren’t safe. Here we go with the same old distorted logic – people spending fortunes that we don’t have on non-essential items, and using safety as an excuse.
I have been around the block a few time, and in all my years I have never been attacked by a road. I have never heard of anyone being mugged, raped or murdered by a road. On the whole I find them to be fairly placid benign yokes.
A road is nothing more than an inanimate slab of concrete or asphalt. It just lies there doing nothing. It is harmless. It cannot be dangerous no matter how hard it tries. It might be a long wide straight stretch, or it might be narrow and full of twisty turns. That doesn’t matter as it is still as safe as a baby’s cradle.
What our fucking idiot fails to understand is that a road cannot be unsafe. What is dangerous is the driver who uses that road. Accidents are caused by people driving too fast for the road conditions. If there are potholes in a road, then for fuck’s sake slow down. It’s as simple as that.
I spent a few holidays in a house in Connemara. It was a beautiful peaceful spot with glorious views out over the Atlantic. To get to that house, you had to drive a half mile down a track that had long grass growing up the middle. After the half mile, you came to a gap in the wall and this marked the beginning of the last half mile. That last half mile was literally a case of driving across the fields. There was no road, or even a track. You drove over grass or bare rock. It was hell on the car’s suspension, but what the hell – the trip was worth it. My point is that half mile was not dangerous. It was rough on the car, but that was up to the driver to select the best route between the rocks. If I had tried doing fifty [or even ten] on that stretch, I probably would have injured myself or someone, but I was sensible enough to drive at a reasonable speed.
So forget all this utter shite about dangerous roads.
Worry about the dangerous drivers.
- On the road
- Comments(18)
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Your comment reminds me of when I was in the UK last year. At a supermarket I saw a notice that said,” This door is alarmed “.
I wonder what (or who) frightened it.
I was in a Morrisons Supermarket in the UK. Had to go to the toilet. The trap had this weird subdued blue lighting. There was a warning sign on the door. Something about the lighting having something to do with detering anti-social? behaviour. Anyone know anything about this? Bet GD does. Go to go know. Chelsea v Man Utd to watch in the local Irish pub at 2.45pm.
tt, that’s to stop heroin addicts finding their veins to shoot up. It’s UV light.
Grandad, I was followed home by a series of dangerous bends one night.
i may have to quote this one (with credits to you of course) to the belly aching twaddles whining about the usual winter potholes of spring. we’ve enjoyed a lovely winter season of pulling people out of ditches that drove speed limit on snow ice slush covered highways…i say leave them there its natural selection at its finest.
Grandad, at least your Prats in Office want to spend the money you don’t have on your own country. Our (British) Prats in Office want to hose down Pakistan & India (and all points East) with the money we don’t have.
A Grandad – My oil tank is alarmed. I have to feed it Valium before any delivery.
TT – How the fuck would I know anything about anti-social behaviour?
Holemaster – Coming home from a bender, then?
Cat – Feel free. My royalties are 10%.
Nightlurker – You must be fucking joking!! It wasn’t anyone in gubmit suggesting this. Our gubmint is pouring all our life’s savings to pay off the fucking gambling debts of German bondholders and German banks. Every week another ten fucking billion or so is shipped over to Europe.
Grandad, your wee Irish potholes are a joke. In South Africa now, here we have champion potholes, known to (literally) swallow a car. We have taken to planting trees in potholes to try and embarrass councils into repairing them. No luck though, they’re too busy fighting for a place on the gravy train on the way to pick up their new BMW X5′s.
Ah yes, and we have to worry about the drivers as well, especially the ones in so-called minibus taxis that force us into the potholes.
GD, you disappoint me. I would think you would want the roads, and even the paths, improved for the coming tourist season.
I remember one night the road turned and I didnt.
I’m on a crusade again. Ride a bike or a bus. Saves gas too.
Brill idea from Occam we should go out and plant trees in the pot holes, something that grows fast and tall so we would have a warning the hole is there. Then edge it around with grass and in no time we’ll have a golf course right in our own street. Thet would increase the value of our homes, sat right next to a golf course.
Welcome to my crazy little corner, Occam. I’ll have you know, in the past German car manufacturers [Audi? Mercedes? Not sure] recorded a profile of a typical Irish road for stress testing their cars. And that was before the lousy weather. Incidentally, I think I may have your razor in the bathroom. Want it back?
Willie – On the other hand, we could feature our potholes as tourist attractions? You Americans will fall for anything that has an Information Centre nearby.
Johnie – If you can remember it, it wasn’t a good night.
Gail – What is it with you and crusades? You’ll be telling us to cut down on fatty foods next…..
Nightlurker – That’s not a bad idea – Open up the M50 for the Irish Open? Eat your heart out, Augusta! Heh!
Sounds as though I’ll have to defer to Occam’s potholes, I thought we’d got world-beaters here but I have to admit I’ve never seen a tree planted in one!
As to Irish ptholes – we went to my son’s wedding in Waterford having flown into Dublin. The roads were pretty bumpy, and dodgy driving at night. We mentioned all the holes to one of the bride’s uncles who said it was ‘traffic calming’. “We’ve got ‘sleeping-policemen’ (traffic humps) for that” we said. “Ah, but the holes are cheaper” was the reply……
pOtholes - Sorry, need more coffee!
Ah, I thought I lost my edge lately, battled to cut through the crap as I used to. I put it down to encroaching old age. Yes, please return my razor so that I could be the sharpest pencil in the box again (some uncharitable souls would say I never was).
Great post Groanda. Now substitute the word ‘alcohol’ in for roads and it still works.
TT- I have the underpants off your washing line and you aren’t getting them back. The kids are using it as a tent at the Reading festival this year.
Oh yes, Grandad. Do cut down on fatty foods. Cut out the sugar while you’re at it.