Wojah weebawn
Grandad April 21st, 2011
One or two of you may remember that I wrote recently about the death of Roger.
For the one or two of you who give a shite, Roger was my SatNav who faithfully navigated me around Ireland and France, and did his best to kill me in the process.
I decided I needed Roger as we will be trotting off onto the continent again this Summer, and I confess I find it quite difficult navigating motorways while reading a huge Michelin map at the same time. The map tends to obscure the view.
The new Roger arrived the other day. The main reason I chose the model is that it has a larger screen, but it does have some other interesting features. One of those features is voice recognition. Naturally I had to try this out.
“Howya Roger” I shouted at it.
Nothing happened.
I tried a few more times, and eventually Roger responded, but only when I was holding the yoke in front of my mouth and yelling at the top of my voice. Not good.
I tried it again yesterday, while our K8 was in the car. Naturally she wasn’t impressed. She rarely is. She asked if I had to train it, and I said that no, it was supposed to understand me straight away.
“Maybe it’s your accent?” she suggested.
I pointed out that I don’t have an accent.
She replied that maybe that was the problem. She asked what options there were. I replied that I was given a choice of a load of languages including English [American] or English [British]. She asked if there was an English [Ireland] and I confessed that there wasn’t.
“There’s your answer” says she, “Try using an English accent”.
I tried that out last night. I tried a Geordie accent. No joy. I tried a Brummie accent [reputed to be the ugliest accent in the UK] and fortunately that didn’t work as it gave me throat ache. I ran the gamut of the various accents from Norfolk to Cornwall and eventually Roger started responding.
The English have a peculiar habit of losing their Rs, unless they are from the West Country. [No jokes about knowing their Rs from their elbows, please…] I ended up sounding like a Public School Jonathan Ross on steroids.
“Aaah yoo theyah, Wojah?” I would shout. And Roger would respond. Every time.
“White Wojah! Diwect me to the jolly old pub” I would shout. Roger would resume his muteness.
I can see I will have my work cut out training Roger.
Or maybe I’ll just go back to tapping the screen.
*sigh*
- On the road
- Comments(11)
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Have you tried a Norn Iron accent ? On second thoughts – maybe not a good idea wee mon. !!
Jayzus! No chance. I’d put Roger in the bin first.
I tried one of those in an electronics store. It didn’t go to well for me either. Evidently, it didn’t care for my southern accent! I saw a lady that had to be from New Jersey try it, and it worked grand for her. Maybe that is just the Chinese way of irritating us to death.
Try Welsh!
Funny thing Grandad, but I just bought myself one of those fancy SatNav deals with the voice recognition. My options are English English or American English. I tried the American first and was thrilled to bits when she answered. (Yes, I know, little things please little minds). The only thing is that she sounded totally ticked off and I figured I didn’t want to be bitched at by a machine so now I’ve switched it to the other option.
JD – With all due respect, the southern drawl is more of a handicap than an accent. I don’t blame the SatNav. It has to draw the line somewhere.
Bill – It’s a strange thing, but any time I try the Welsh accent, I end up sounding like Daniel O’Donnell. I wouldn’t inflict that on anyone, even a machine.
i’ve been told i sound like flat british irish what ever the fluff that means, i’m pretty sure thats not an english option for the satnav.
Well, if you sound anything like the cab drivers in Dublin, no wonder it didn’t respond. Couldn’t understand a damn word they were saying.
On the other hand, I have had a hell of a time getting understood overseas before, the combination of a North Carolina drawl and a broad, Midwestern accent might as well be Greek in the Home Counties.
Don’t know about the ‘voice recognition’ but my sat-nav always sounds very pissed-off when I don’t follow instructions.
I have a friend who bought a French Renault ( she was living in Paris at the time) purely because it had a French male voice telling her where to go …and she LOVED it!!!
I wonder if it works is you try Pirate English – me hearties – and all that sort of stuff. It’s derived from Bristolian and would be more appropriate for a Sat Nav!
Recalculating…recalculating…for god’s sake, make a U turn now…