Archive for April, 2011

Breed with caution Time to panic

April 17th, 2011

I watched a bit of television last night.

It was a comedy channel off the satellite, and Yer Man Jack Dee was on.  I like Jack Dee – we share the same sunny disposition and life attitude.

During the advertisement breaks I noticed something strange.  Just as the break was starting, the screen flickered.  It did it before every break and I assumed it was some glitch in their computer system.

This glitch started to annoy me so just to satisfy my curiosity, I stopped the programme and rewound back to the point of the glitch.  That’s one of the advantages of digital television – pausing and rewinding is a doddle.

What I saw surprised me.

It was a screen full of text that didn’t make much sense.  It was all about bus drivers.  The majority of the text was white on red, but six words were in black – “Breed with caution. Time to panic”.  What in the name of fuck was that about?

I did a search on the Interwebby and found that a few other people had discovered it too.  One resourceful bloke had even captured the messages and edited them onto You Tube…..

I am not a great believer in conspiracy theories, and am firmly convinced that they are all spawned by a race of aliens who live on the planet Zorg.  I have a funny feeling though that this is just going to breed a rake more theories.

There must be a purpose behind it all.  It is obviously deliberate.

Fucking weird.

Westlife or whiskey

April 15th, 2011

I was at one of those table quizzes last night.

It wasn’t in the local pub so they fucking didn’t like smokers, but I suppose one must make sacrifices in the name of a good cause?  It was in aid of Puppychild’s school so Our K8 and TAT were there too.

I like pub quizzes.  I am one of those people who is not that well up on the trivial things in life, but am a fountain of knowledge when it comes to the important stuff.  I haven’t a fucking clue who won the All Ireland Football championships last year, but I can tell you that a squirrel lives in a drey.    I haven’t a clue who won what Oscar for what but I know for a fact that most of the African Continent is in the Northern Hemisphere.

As for who is the current world 100 metres champion…. well I suggested it was Brian Brady when he realised the last bus home was just leaving, but apparently that wasn’t right.

Needless to say, we didn’t win.  But we didn’t come last either so that was all right.

At the end of the quiz, they ran a raffle.  I never win at raffles, but I bought some tickets anyway.  As I said, it was all in a good cause.

The very first ticket drawn was one of mine, so there must have been a blue moon last night.  Actually there wasn’t as one of the questions was ‘if there are two full moons in a calendar month, then what is the second one called?’  Naturally I said it was a Blue Moon.

Anyhow, I digress.

I went up to collect my prize which was a very fancy crate of chocolate liqueurs [which should keep Herself happy and pissed for quite a while] and two fine bottles of vintage whiskey [which should keep me happy for a while].

Later, I was approached by the woman who had issued the prizes and was told there was a mix-up.  She said I had won the first prize but had been given the second prize instead by mistake. I asked what the first prize was, and it transpired that I should be the owner of two tickets to see Westlife.

I will be honest here.  I think the only thing worse than two tickets to see Westlife would be two tickets to see Jedward.  So here I was being offered these two tickets in exchange for two fine bottles of whiskey.  Westlife?  Whiskey?  Whiskey? Westlife?  It was a tough decision and it mist have taken me at least two nanoseconds to decide.  I kept the whiskey.

I didn’t know this at the time, but apparently two tickets to Westlife are like gold dust and I could have sold them for a fortune on the Interweb.

I don’t regret my decision however.  As our K8 said at the time – if I had handled those tickets, I would have felt tainted for the rest of my life.

Our K8 can be quite astute sometimes.

The real underbelly of Europe

April 13th, 2011

It’s hard to beat Europe for sheer arrogance.

Lorenzo Bini Smaghi [whoever the fuck he is] has declared that the Irish have to bail out the banks and pay the bondholders.

This little cretin has crawled out from under his rock and is blaming us, the plain people of Ireland for causing the banking crisis in the first place.  Even Fianna Fail in their most delusional times never blamed us.  To them, it was always the International Crisis or whatever, but in fairness to them, they never said the we caused it.

And what logic prompts this fuckwad to blame us?  well, it has to be our fault because we benefitted during the pre-crisis boom years and elected the governments that regulated the banks as the problems built.  Have you ever heard such sheer contemptible arrogance in your life?  This is the kind of sympathy we get for licking arses for the last forty years.  It shows how Europe doesn’t give a flying fuck about the Irish.  They couldn’t give a shite if we all starved in the gutters, just so long as their precious Euro stays stable, and so long as the German gamblers get their full money back.

In fairness to Lorenzo Bini Smaghi [whoever the fuck he is], he is partly in the right track.

The crisis can be logically blamed on the Irish Electorate.

He is wrong though to blame us for voting in Fianna Fail. 

Where we went wrong was in voting for Europe.

Last man standing

April 12th, 2011

I started this site four and a half years ago.

Since then I have been musing away for my own satisfaction, and if others want to read it too then that is fine by me.

When I started, I discovered the delights of RSS for keeping an eye on other sites and I started a collection that I read every day.  That collection grew as the months went past and it ended up with a couple of hundred sites.  Occasionally I add a new one, and occasionally I delete one if I know it’s no longer in use.

Over the weekend I was mucking about and decided to clean out my RSS reader.  The rule I used was to delete any site that hadn’t posted in the last year.  I thought there would be a few, but to my surprise, I found I had deleted around half the feeds and was sorry to see such once excellent sites being consigned to the bin.

Looking through the remainder, one thing struck me – how few of them are Irish.  Only a handful remain and it’s a damned small handful at that.  All the rest are in the UK, America or various other outposts of humanity.  Where the fuck have they all gone?  And more to the point, why?

Of the remaining sites, only around half a dozen are posting on a regular basis and half of them are relatively new at the game.

I blame that fucking Twitter.

Not taking the pain

April 11th, 2011

They are fucking at it again.

They are whining and whinging on about how we must “all take the pain”.

I was down in the village earlier, and one of the shops had its radio on, and that’s how I heard them.  Now I have to buy the shopkeeper a new radio.  Fuck!  He should bill the gubmint, as it’s all their fault.

Let me tell you about taking the pain.

I started work at £10 a week.  Yes – that’s not a typo – ten miserable quid a week.

I then proceeded to fight my way up the ladder of success, getting up and going to work in miserable fucking weather, day in and day out.  For years I worked outdoors in an environment that would now probably be banned by the Elf and Safety mob, as it involved working at heights and a LOT of brute labour.

I went to work whether I wanted to or not, and usually I didn’t.  I suffered having to work with and for idiots. I paid all my taxes and struggled financially. I took more abuse than I gave and generally I took the pain.

I am retired now.  I am retired from having to wake every day in the small hours.  I am retired from the toil sweat and the abuse. 

I am retired from taking the pain, yet they are now imposing a Universal Social Charge on me. What do I get for this charge?  NOTHING.  They are skimming my pension to give my money to others.

When the good times came and the bubble grew, I didn’t move house. I didn’t buy a holiday pad on the continent. I didn’t buy a four wheel drive. In fact I didn’t upgrade my car at all. So when the crash came, I hadn’t benefitted from it in any shape or form.  So give me one good fucking reason why I should pay a red cent towards the mess that other fuckers have made.

I see their latest little gimmick is to take away free passports for the over 65s.

Cunts.

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