The need for speed
Grandad May 8th, 2011
The damned Interweb is trying to annoy me again.
Here I am on a blustery Sunday afternoon trying to download some porn download some pirated films research the decline of the honeybee, and the fucking Interweb is acting like I am using an old modem thingy. It’s not only slow, but it keeps disconnecting. Fucking irritating.
It could be that the lightning we had last night screwed something up in which case there is fuck all I can do about it.
Or it could be that the trees and hedges have gotten a little out of control and are blocking the signal.
I’ll tell you one thing -
It’s a piss poor state of affairs if the fucking Interweb is nagging me to do some gardening.
- Around the garden , Internet
- Comments(9)
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Turn on the TV & watch the ManU – Chelsea game.
Fuck!! I have been trying for hours to connect, and this is all I get? Fucking sport?
Time to get a satellite uplink. Then you can download por….mov…softw…send emails very fast.
I was here.very disappointed about the porn problem, but not to let us down,your colorful language filled the bill.
You should get one of them playstation xbox nintendo shagging game things and work out the frustration shooting the fuck out of zombies or some such creatures. If you can’t work out how to get it to work, don’t worry. You can play with the box and its wrappings. Hours of fun….
I’d say its the beard is becoming magnetised. Yes. That’ll be the one alright. You might have to lose the beard for the old broadband, Grandad. Although in fairness you can test the effect by only shaving one half away first which should make your megabye per second rate improve.
If you become quite good at judging the correct level of facial awareness you might be able to trim go-faster stripes down the jowls and sure you’d be like a kind of digital Schumacher with the delicate balance between onboard weight distribution, wnd resistance and carbon fibre piping applied to the lower face.
We are all technologists now. Here’s me bus.
Although I wouldn’t be inclined to go completely clean-shaven like some young fellows I know. You’d end up going too fast altogether and then your computer would start going BING BING BING at you.
Brian – That’s a bit drastic isn’t it? A dirty great big satellite dish in the middle of the lawn? Nah!
Sandi – I like to bring a little colour into people’s lives. Heh!
Con – Now you are being ridiculous. Shave the beard? Sure then no one would recognise me. Hang on… You might have something there.
Slab – Welcome to The Gang. I just found you lurking in the Moderation Queue. I have an Xbox, and I haven’t a fucking clue how to work it, and I don’t have the packaging. Any other ideas?