Cutbacks
Grandad June 28th, 2011
Tallaght General Hospital
Dear Grandad,
Could you please report for your hip replacement surgery on the 23rd January 2065.
Due to financial cutbacks we would ask you to bring the following in addition to pyjamas, soap and toothbrush:
- A penknife [how sharp is up to you].
- Hacksaw.
- One RS M10. New is preferable, though second-hand will suffice.
- One tube of water resistant, high impact adhesive.
- Needle and thread.
- Bottle of whiskey or other anaesthetic of your choice.
Your operation is booked in theatre 4, at 10AM.
Punctuality is appreciated.
Discharge from hospital will be at 1PM.
Yours faithfully,
AF
Admissions Clerk.
- Rambles
- Comments(11)
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…. and can you have the old bone for the dog?
Only if I pay for it.
i see your health care is similar to ours except ours has a longer wait time.
You are in a health care system that obama wants to impose on us. I hear horror stories from Ireland and England and figure we’re not far away from the gubmint running our hospitals. I’m worried about your hip replacement so I’ll start praying for you in about 54 years.
What we have here is Mad Cow Harney’s legacy. She decided that when it came to healthcare that “Boston was better than Brussels”. The new lot are now trying to unpick all her mistakes and essentially rebuild the system from the ground up. They have now run out of cash and we are only half way through the year.
Brianf – I’m not worried about the 54 years. I have commented before how time flies faster as you get older.
You Lucky Bastard, You Lucky, lucky Bastard….They’ll want to take my leg off and give me a stick with a fucking wheel on. Maybe you’d get my bloody leg as well.
Next it’ll be Cruixification, lucky bastard.
Dear GD, as please allow me – a strongly anti climat-change-scepticism person who nonetheess likes your blog very much – to silently leave this link here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2011/jun/28/climate-change-sceptic-willie-soon
Just to bring some balance!
Slab – Now you see the benefits of private health insurance.
Jedrzej – OK. I’ll be generous and allow you that one. What about all the others?
We have all the time, don’t we? Will certainly drop it here when I come across something as tasty as this again.
See, I told you so.
Holy God but we’re an awful sick nation. If they could just legalize cannabis, and replace the fluoride with echinacea in the tap water, manuka lollipop dispensers in public toilets, that sort of thing. We’d cost an awful lot less to maintain?!?