Harnessing the dog
Grandad July 13th, 2011
I went shopping yesterday.
Sandy came too. In fact she drove to the shops as the warm weather was making me sleepy.
Normally, when we get to the shops I get out and Sandy stays in the driver’s seat. She is very proud of that seat and will sit there huffing at people as they pass by, Quite often she draws a small crowd – “Ah! Would ya look at the dog! It thinks it can drive.” This pisses Sandy off mightily and quite often she will run those people over on the way home.
Anyhows, Sandy usually only comes with me when I am going to the coffee shop.This time was different. I had decided to buy her a safety harness as she has this habit of smacking her nose off the dashboard whenever I stop suddenly or run into someone. Naturally I had to buy her one that fitted, and that meant bringing her into the shop with me. Unfortunately she got the idea from somewhere that she was at the vet so she wasn’t very cooperative.
After several fittings, we found a harness that fitted her perfectly. Then I saw that the shop also sold those poo-gathering yokes. It occurred to me that one of those might be handy in France as we shall be staying in rented accommodation and it don’t want to leave it full of crap. I’m thoughtful like that. There were two types of poo-gatherer – a short handled version and a long handled version. I asked Sandy which one she preferred and she said that quite honestly she didn’t give a shite either way. I bought the short handled one.
Before heading home, I put Sandy’s new harness on. I had to drive as she now couldn’t reach the pedals. She sat there looking rather annoyed as I drove home.
On the way, I decided to test the harness. There was no point in just jamming on the breaks, as I knew Sandy would just brace herself. So just to catch her on the hop I ran into the back of an old biddy in a Fiat Punto. The harness worked perfectly, which is more than can be said about the Punto’s rear bumper.
Sandy has become very attached to the harness now and insists on wearing it all the time.
She is already muttering about going back to the shop for matching accessories.
She can fuck off.
Typical bloody woman!
- On the road , Rambles
- Comments(14)
Subscribe to audio
As I recall don’t y’all drive on the left in Ireland? I was wondering how Sandy manages in France.
and does she bark in French? “Ou est le lamp post?”
sighhh…one must accessorize!! least you can do is get a matching studded collar that’s sparklie
TT – Usually we do drive on the left, but not always. Sandy should have no problems adapting as she is quite clever. I haven’t heard her talking French yet.
Cat – ……. and a fucking handbag no doubt!
They don’t sell inflatable harnesses do they? We’re trying to teach our rescue dog to swim as it’s very hot but she just sits on the top step of the pool in 3″ of water. She will put up with us holding her in the water- just – but, even though she likes being cool, she won’t take the next step and we don’t want to put her off. Any suggestions? I think swimming just isn’t in the genes of Greek Dogs!!!
sort of, a poop pouch attaches to collar and holds poop bags for clean up
Meltemian – Why try to get the poor beast to swim if she doesn’t want to? I was going to teach our Sandy to fly but the is a tad scared of light aircraft, so I scrapped the idea.
Cat – Are you serious? You would make your dog carry its own shit around its neck?? That is fucking sick!
I was just thinking of Snady the other day. I was wondering why we haven’t had a post from her in awhile.
Speaking of harnessing women…
…well, never mind that.
But I once tried to buckle my (violently anti seat belt) wife into the passenger seat just for the same reason you harnessed Sandy. Keep her from banging her nose on the dash during sudden stops. She quickly reminded me of my error. I got out of the hospital 4 days later.
I expect you’ve all heard the old joke about how to find out who loves you the best your wife or your dog?
Take turns locking them in the trunk of your car for an hour. When you let them out see which one is glad to see you.
tt – I can guarantee you that if I was stupid enough to lock my wife in the trunk of my car I’d be 100 miles away and calling the fire department to go and get her out. Then I’d never go home again.
Brianf – She hasn’t shown much interest in writing for some time. I think her attitude is to move on once she has mastered a task.
Kirk M – What Herself and I do in the Bridle area is our business. Anyway she doesn’t mind the dashboard thing. She just bounces.
TT – I never realised that was supposed to be a joke. I did actually try it once. That’s why Herself sleeps in the shed and Sandy has the run of the house.
Meltie, There are life jackets for dogs, works great if you dump the dog overboard…