Slavery makes a welcome return
Grandad August 4th, 2011
It’s nearly time for the old holliers.
In four weeks time I shall be heading off for a bit of warmth and many gallons of wine. I’m not really a wine person, but just as we keep the good Guinness for ourselves, so the French keep the good wine for France. And it’s dirt cheap very reasonably priced.
There has been one small change to our plans – Sandy has decided not to come. She announced this a couple of weeks ago and no amount of persuasion will change her mind. She says that she is not used to driving on the wrong side of the road [which isn’t true] and has heard that the country is infested with poodles. She is determined to stay at home. She says poodles are gay.
In the meantime of course, I had booked her a kennel for each way on the ferry. They call it a kennel, but it’s actually just a steel box on the car deck. So now I have a kennel with nothing to put into it. I did suggest that Herself would be more at home there than in a bed, but she declined the offer.
I phoned Irish Ferries and told ‘em I wouldn’t be needing the kennels and could I have my money back, thanks very much.
They said no, thanks very much.
Fuck!
So now I have booked a return journey and have paid way over the odds. Hate that.
Now I wasn’t born yesterday [or the day before, for that matter] and there are always ways of getting the old money’s worth. I demanded an upgrade to the cabin. I had originally booked a two star, two berth cabin with a window. They said they had no three star cabins left and would I like a four star, two berth with a window? Does a bear shit in the woods, I replied.
I have just been checking on-line as to the differences between two star, three star and four star.
Apparently I will have my own personal steward.
Boy is that bloke going to earn his pay!
Heh!
- Holidays
- Comments(20)
Subscribe to audio
Poodles are gay but you’re taking a fairy both ways(!?!) while on vacation!!?!!
Very fucking funny! You just made me check right through in case I had misspelled ferry. I didn’t.
I thought it was funny. I’m glad you did too.
was going to suggest you bring back a poodle that way using the kennel once but upgrade on the cabin definately better and i’m sure sandy would be better pleased than receiving a poodle
Just make sure you get on the right boat.
You know me, Brianf – always game for a laugh.
Cat – Sandy is very happy with the new arrangement. She says she is looking forward to having the house to herself for a month.
TT – No fear of that. The other boat goes to Wales, so I’ll be very careful………
If you are in my part of the world, Aquitaine, SW France, look me up, I know a few good wines………
Johnnyrvf – Now that is a very kind offer. Unfortunately we aren’t going as far south this time and plan to lurk in the Loire Region.
I knew that gays were well organised, I didn’t know thay had a fucking navy. are any of them carriers?
Tis well for some, off on the holliers. I could’nt afford them this year. I had two weeks looking out of the staring window at the Grayshine and the pissing rain. By the looks of things going on in the finance world, I’ll be doing the same for the forseeable future, fukkit.
GD, ‘Enjoy’ the holliers……
Oh! I have a nice steel box with a nice little window. Maybe I could mind yer lil doggie.
It has buttons on one side marked ‘combination microwave/oven, grill, fast cook, defrost.
I also have a taste for Asian food. I hope this would not be a problem.
I thought they had every navy.
What’s all this talk about gay navies? I toss in a comment about poodles being gay and come back later to find the whole world’s fucking navies are gay [which I already knew anyway]. Stop trying to confuse me.
Slab – Forty years before the mast [might as well keep up the navy theme?] has paid for this holiday. That and a credit card belonging to Marylou Haddish of Toronto. I deserve it. And stop trying to eat my dog.
I’ll be givin’ her some Bonios, Cap’n.
In the microwave? Are you using Bonio as some kind of garnish?
Grandad have a read of this!
http://thesnowolf.com/2011/08/could-this-be-it.html#comment-758
GD, hope the weather is better by the time you get over here … it’s unbelievably shite at the moment.
Bill – Beautifully written! Had to leave a wee comment..
TonyS – Depends on where you are and where I’m going. I know our destination [Loire] is having better weather than us at the moment, but that wouldn’t be hard. It has been pissing down all evening.
I’m in the general Paris area, where it’s also been pissing down all evening, but you shoudl be ok by the time you get here …
TonyS – I’m not the sun worshiping type [the idea of lying on a beach all day makes me shudder]. Just so long as it’s a little warmer and a lower humidity I’ll be happy.