Removing my hole
Grandad August 29th, 2011
I think I have mentioned our lane before.
Just in case there are a couple of you who haven’t been reading this site since its inception, I had better explain.
Our lane used to be a private lane, but then the County Council took it in hand. Some of us were a little chuffed by this as it meant we wouldn’t have to maintain it any more. However, the Council had other plans.
What they have done is to build a sort of breeding ground for potholes. I’m not sure whether they plant pothole seeds or what, but they are growing them at a fierce rate so that our lane is probably the premier pothole nursery in the county.
When the potholes are fully fledged the Council comes along and harvests them . They are then transplanted out onto the main roads throughout the area. Quite a few times in the past I have had to swerve on a main road to avoid a pothole that I recognised from our lane. When you rattle across them on a daily basis, you rapidly get to know and love each individual pothole, and it’s nice to see them being put to good use where the whole population can crash into them.
Apparently today is another harvest day. The Council are out there with a load of heavy machinery, the lane is reasonably smooth once more and a fleet of lorries is ferrying the potholes to all the areas that really need them. I’ll miss them as I had grown quite fond of this latest crop.
It will take a little while to get used to the fact that I can drive the lane at more than two miles per hour or that I can actually drive in a straight line without risking tyre, wheel rim, suspension or my nerves.
I’m not worried though.
I know that in a week or two the new crop will have taken root and will be growing at a rate of knots. Soon it will be infested with a new batch of holes that will grow to greet me every time I try and drive out the lane.
I just hope they’ll be big enough in time for the Winter Harvest.
- On the road
- Comments(14)
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It’s pothole planting season. They new ones should be sprouting around January after a good hard frost or spell of snow.
Hey Holey, Glad you made it back to your gaff. Though you fell into a hole or something.
On my road we have potholes too. The Council deliver them, usually when no one can see them. They are’nt there one day and there the next. Brilliant. Mr.s Slab has started to save water already in the face of water charges, by using the available potholes for the washing.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Fzq94YVbHHM/SzJ8CD4ZqOI/AAAAAAAAoks/CQdIqCrAd98/s400/potholes_07.jpg
She’s worried, the Council may put a charge on this too.
The local car park has had a fun pothole installed by the Council too.
http://bp2.blogger.com/_0jhe4AbFCnY/R4uZ-3Teq3I/AAAAAAAAAwI/bn_v6uusjLI/s400/redneck-pothole.jpg Designed to challenge ones parking skills.
They even installed a speed trap pothole on our road.
http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01266/car-682_1266872a.jpg And it bloody works too.
Thank Christ for that, I thought for a moment, that you had hit upon a drastic but effective way of solving your sewer problems – permanantly
Sounds like your local Council is employing the same quality of Tarmac layers as are making a living the length & breadth of the UK ..
Who knows, it might even be some of the same gangs, come home for a brief visit ?
We just smoke our pot down here, man!
Holemaster – That’s what I reckoned. There is nothing like a good hard freezingf spell to make the potholes flourish.
Slab – Now you know where all those holes come from. Nice looking woman, your missus. Ask her if she’d like me to buy her a pint tonight…..
Patrick – Like tearing myself a new arsehole? I’m not that stupid.
Haddock – More than likely the same teams. I have a strong suspicion that Ireland’s greatest export is cowboy tarmac layers.
Not Green – Different kind of pot. Unless you smoke holes? Not to be recommended, I would suspect.
pot hole harvest….*snork* thats funny!!
true but funny
Have you ever tried cultivating hybrid potholes? The Laois winter pothole is a resilient strain that would prolong the damaging effects of the East Coast pothole by a couple of months.
They have been putting them on the Moon for years. I think thats where they keep them in storage.
I live on a private road. No potholes here. Smooth as a baby’s bottom.
There is a dirt lane running between my house and the neighbours house adjacent to mine. The previous owners deeded the lane to the County, thinking they’d pave it. 20 years later and it is still dirt!