Archive for August, 2011

Lost in translation

August 21st, 2011

I keep forgetting how international this Interweb thing is.

I try to write in a way that most English speaking people can read.  I’m not always successful in that endeavour but fuckit, I try.

It is somewhat strange then to come across references to this place in a language that is quite frankly foreign to me.

One of the sites that links here is Weirdo.  Now it looks interesting but I can’t understand a single word, as it’s all in Welsh.  I always thought that the Welsh language had a particular beauty, but I think it’s a bit late to learn it, considering that I’m still struggling with English.

Recently another site wrote an entire piece about this place, and I haven’t a fucking clue what they are on about as the whole thing is in Russian.  My Russian is [to put put mildly] a tad on the rusty side, and Google Translate isn’t much better, so I’ll just have to hope that what they wrote is reasonably positive. 

I received my first Russian comment the other day.  I’m not counting those ones from people who call themselves “Get a cheap mortgage” or whatever and then try to flatter me into posting their link.  No.  I’m talking about a short succinct comment that was aimed directly at me.  Unfortunately their link was one of those casino sites, so under my rules that does in fact class them as spam.  And what did they say?

“Давай, дедуля жги еще!”

According to Google, that means “Come on, Grandpa still burn!“.  I’m still not quite sure what to make of that.  Maybe something got lost in translation?  Anyway, thanks Max.  I think.

Just out of interest, I tried taking the fist sentence of this scribble and translating it into Russian.  Apparently it is “Я все время забываю, как международные этом межсети вещь.”.  Now that means nothing to me so I translated it back again.  “I keep forgetting how international this interweb thing.”  I’m impressed.  But it has missed out on the last “is” which subtly changes the whole meaning.  In fact it doesn’t really make any sense at all.  So I then wonder what my musings come out as when translated into other languages?

Fuckit.

I think I’ll stick with English.

Consequences

August 20th, 2011

You really couldn’t make this shit up.

Remember how the ‘experts’ have been warning us for years about the terrible dangers of melanoma and skin cancer?  Remember how we must avoid sunshine and put on heavy doses of sunscreen lotion?  Some weather forecasts even throw in a projected UV reading so we know how much protection to put on.

The ‘experts’ are now worried about Rickets.

What causes Rickets?

Lack of Vitamin D which is obtained from – you guessed it – sunlight.

So the fuckwits who created the problem are now complaining about it.

Do these ‘experts’ ever think things through to the consequences?

Un-fucking-believable.

If you didn’t laugh, you’d cry.

One of those days

August 19th, 2011

Do you ever have a day where you feel like doing nothing?

I’m not talking about a day where you don’t feel like doing anything.  That’s different.

It’s a day where you could be going for a pint but you couldn’t face the bother.

It’s a day where you could drop down to the village [or even another village] for a steaming mug of coffee and a chat but it’s just too much effort.

It’s a day where you have loads to write about but the effort of tapping all those keys is just too much hassle.

Today is one of those days.

Talk amongst yourselves.

I think I might have a doze.

If I can summon the energy.

Cut off their goolies

August 18th, 2011

Herself and I got chatting last night.

This usually only happens when the two of us are simultaneously sober, and at the rate she drinks, that isn’t very often.

We had been half watching a panel discussion about the riots, or the looting or whatever the politically correct term is for what went on in the UK.  The panel of course spewed forth enough shite to fertilise the entire county, blaming the poor children’s deprived backgrounds and the alienation of youth and crap like that.

Herself’s answer was as usual forthright and direct.  “Cut off their goolies” she roared.  She is incidentally also a fan of ‘Not the Nine O’Clock News’.  I pointed out that that would indeed work, but not for another generation, or lack of, as it were.

I have seen Yer Man Cameron a few times waffling into the camera.  I thought our mob were bad, but Jayzus, that bloke hasn’t a fucking clue.  He is all platitudes, cliches and over reactions.  I mean to say – locking up a couple of kids for three years for writing on a web site?  Fuck me! 

The cause and solution are simplicity itself.

The cause is the result of two generations of nannying the little brats from birth.  They soon learn that they can get away with absolutely anything because some hare-brained law says that no one can lay a finger on them.  The kids tell a teacher to fuck off – the teacher can only ask them to pleeeese speak nicely.  That in itself deserves a fuck-off response.  Locking them up now is too little, too late.

Herself and I were brought up the old fashioned way and we turned out reasonably well.  We brought our K8 up the old fashioned way and she isn’t a bad kid at all.  The scars have healed nicely and you would hardly notice the limp.  We learned that disrespecting our elders and betters usually resulted in something very painful indeed. 

The solution is equally simple.  It’s not original, but I can’t remember where I read it so it will have to remain unaccredited.  All they have to do is create a series of boot camps across the land.  Up at five in the morning and a full day of physical training and dirty duties before they get to bed at two in the morning..  Keep ‘em at it until they learn to respect themselves and others. 

So there you have it.

If anyone wants me to be Prime Minister of the UK, just drop me a line. 

The usual address will do.

Reality bites

August 17th, 2011

So how are you all today?

All you people who voted for the European Constitution Lisbon Treaty?

All you people who believed the “assurances” and other shite they stuck into the Constitution Treaty for you?

Are you still happy with your decision?

Do you still think that closer ties with Europe is a good thing?

Do you still cling on to that vanishing belief that the ultimate goal is not the United States of Europe?

Are you still under the illusion that we remain an independent state despite all our laws coming from Europe and the fact that they hold all the purse strings?

This ain’t Cloud Cuckoo Land.

Oh no.

Welcome to the Fourth Reich.

Any day now…..

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