Life in the slow lane
Grandad September 18th, 2011
I have mentioned the Interweb “connection” here once or twice.
The reason I am mentioning it again is that dozens [OK, a couple] of you have written to me via email, rather than via the site. I haven’t replied for the simple reason that I can’t. Well, I can but it’s a bit of a nightmare.
The connection here is a bit of a joke. I can connect but only if I am sitting within a couple of feet of the front door. Anywhere else and the connection breaks. If I try to put any stress on the connection, such as trying to watch a video the fucking thing disconnects. On top of that it doesn’t treat all sites as equals. Some sites I can get into quite quickly but others cause problems. This site for instance takes an age to load. If I try to add a comment, it can take up to five minutes. Google occasionally ceases to exist and I get a message asking me if I have correctly typed ‘google.com’!
Mail, for some strange reason just doesn’t work. I can receive mail all right but sending is just not on. No fucking way. It just whines that it can’t find the server, so I haven’t been able to reply to the dozens [OK, couple] of emails that I have received. Sorry about that.
Even if I do manage to keep the connection alive [basically by not using it] it is fucking SLOW. And I really mean SLOW. I tried measuring it and I swear the results are wrong. They couldn’t be that fast?
It took me fifteen minutes just to get that image inserted!
So if any of you are waiting for a reply from me, I’m afraid it just ain’t gonna happen.
At least you now know why.
- Holidays
- Comments(26)
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Shoot! I remember upgrading from 300 baud to 1200 baud and we were happy to have that much speed.
We also walked to school uphill, in the snow, barefoot both ways.
Just a thought GD. If you tried using your interweb connection in French, I’d bet you it would suddenly speed up. C’est la vie en France.
You should’ve taken The Other Fellow with you. Maybe he could’ve sorted it out. By the way how was the journey there? To France. How was the crossing? Anything eventful?
http://www.popularmechanics.com/cm/popularmechanics/images/8e/slow-broadband-snail-470-03-md.jpg The picture says it all, GD. It will download, just give it ttttttttttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee……
By the way, you don’t seem to have a link to The Other Fellow. Is he still around? How would a new visitor know?
Dublin beat Kerry by one point, thought you’d like to know, GD
Brianf – In that case I expect your full sympathy. And did you live in a cardboard box in the middle of the road?
Slab – Part of the joys of this fucking system is that half the sites are dished up in French. My Google and Youtube are in French along with a few others. And they are just as fucking slow.
TT – This is supposed to be a holiday! I did try a few of his trick and did manage to hack into the system here. Nothing of interest. Just the owners private accounts and infidelities. Heh! The crossing was very uneventful. Calm all the way across. Not one single spot of puke on the deck. Very dull.
Slab [again] – That picture would be funny but it perfectly symbolises this setup. Too close to the bone.
TT – Good point about the link. But does he deserve one? Do I want to encourage him?
Slab [yet again] – I mean this caringly but would ya ever fuck off …
To echo my gradchildren.
Geandad’s copped, Grandad’s copped, just because his team got topped.
Well they’re only young uns.
Patrick – In my parlance, ‘copped’ means something I am sure your grandchildren shouldn’t know about? And I don’t have a team, that I know of..
so when you coming home? it is back to work for me tomorrow…sighhh
Cat – All else being equal, I should be on the ferry this time next week. Why are you worried about returning to work? It means you’ll be payed to browse around the Interweb. I know that’s all people do these days.
GD (AGAIN). Dublin beat the Culchies, Heh! Ye’ll never hear the end of it either…..again and again and again…..
So I guess a Skype session is out of the question?
I guess you’re having a day off? What about the workers?
The Grandad Class obviously can have a day off whenever they feel like it, especially when their interweb thingy is slow.
I’ll bet GD, in his frustration, went into the underground bar and is now enjoying some nice local juice while the rest of us toil.
BrianF – you walked uphill to school both ways??
What ever it is I’ll have a pint.
You should try being down in the south-west of this country – it’s so slow here that I had to drive to the post office and stick a stamp to post this.
The SW is my favorite area.
I know i shouldn’t do this, but…
http://www.28fields.com/wlw.html
GD has asked me to inform you all that he had an epiphany (or two) the other day and realised that I have been right all along about the fact that smoking kills and that climate change is real, man made and threatens our very existence. He has implored me to try and explain to you all that the shock to his system has been so great that he now genuinely needs a couple of days rest. Furthermore, he wants you to know that he apologises to me for having disagreed with me and having wronged me all these years. We must all pray for the old goat’s speedy recovery and return. In the meantime rest assured I am in constant communication with him and will endevour to pass his true and new opinions on to you all without bias.
Ian – What are you doing in France? Looking for me?
Mick – Thank you VERY much for that. I’ll let you know what I think of it in a couple of centuries.
TT – Bollox! I’ve a good mind to blacklist you for that.
Good though wannit ? Got you back on line in ten minutes. Do you know how many times you’ve threatened to black list me? You should hold a referendum. On second thoughts, p’raps not.
Fuck! Took me half an hour to get this damned page up!
TT – You shall be hearing from my solicitors. They reckon I have excellent grounds for suing for libel and deformation of character. Or even defamation?
What am I doing in France?
The same as you – sitting in the sunshine and drinking wine and cursing a crap Internet connection. I’ve had to abandon my laptop and use that of the dearly beloved.