Conspiracies
Grandad September 22nd, 2011
Frankly, I’m not a great one for conspiracy theories.
JFK? World Trade Centre? Man on the Moon? I can live with them.
But there are times when I really wonder if there is a grain of truth.
Take for example my Interweb connection. For a long time it was abysmally slow. Then the fucking wireless thingy disappeared [I'm still not sure how]. Having gotten that back yesterday, I discovered today that there is no power. OK, it’s back now, but that’s probably a mistake. Add those factors together and you realise that someone is going to one hell of a lot of trouble to keep me quiet.
I would blame the CIA, but frankly they couldn’t wipe their arses without a roadmap. Could it be MI5? Nah! They have no reason.
There is only one organisation that I can think of that hates negative press, that has the power to bully any country and that is stupid enough to come up with the idea.
The EU is trying to silence me again.
*sigh*
- Holidays
- Comments(25)
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It’s not us. We’re on vacation also.
or the tax people..bastards the lot
That’s socialists/communists/communitarians for you, Grandad, these so-called “liberals” are the most illiberal people on the planet and, (these days), free speech only applies to their own, nasty, Left-wing agenda – for the rest of us free speech is nothing but a distant memory!
The CIA – How can you tell? You never do anything anyway.
Cat – They would have to shut down the entire world to stop people complaining about them.
Barking [or may I call you Woof?] – As long as there is an Interweb there will be free speech. Until they manage to control all that too………
NOOOOOOO!
It’s your wife messing with your brain!
Welcome, Bill! With all due respect to Herself, I doubt she would have the know how to plunge a fair chunk of France into darkness. She’s good, but she ain’t that good. Anyway I have her well sedated for the holiday to keep her out of the shops.
Carla Bruni was probably having her scan today! There’d be a lot of electrical surge when the scanner realised there was another little Sarkozy on the way!!
Call him barking mad, more like. Also, CIA ought to know that it would be MI6.
Not Green – Carla is preggers? Shit! I deny everything. It wasn’t me. I was somewhere else at the time. Honest. And I’m not having a DNA test either.
TT – Will you please stop trying to antagonise my readers. Woof has done nothing to you? Or has he/she?
Nope – never heard of TT before, Grandad, he sounds like another Lefty to me.
I wonder what that stands for……. hmmm?
Oh, wait – I know – it must be short for Total Twat!
And you can call me Spidey, Grandad.
Good one Barking Mad. Original. Must have taken a great deal of thought. However, tt = tourist trophy. Thanks for asking though. I have been wondering when someone would. But OK. Call him Snidey if that’s what he wants. None of my affair. It’s your blog and as you well know I am not one to interfere.
About as many seconds as it took for you to come up with your insults, Total Twat – and don’t you dare try and take the Lefty moral high ground after you started it! Cnut!
OY! Children! Will the two of you stop squabbling or I will have to put you both on the naughty step.
Spidey – Please make allowances for TT. He does his best to irritate people, but he’s harmless really.
TT – Behave!
You know what GD when I start calling your readers twats and cunts …then I should be told to behave. All I said was that the man (or woman ) is clearly barking mad. I used much milder language. I mean come on. Raving on about socialists, communists, lefties, liberals etc. Give me a break. Still. to keep you happy I will happily ignore the bitch.
Said the Lefty twat!
Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me, you fuckin’ pizza shit.
I wasn’t talking to you, you brain-dead Lefty fuckpig!
Oh for fuck’s sake! And I thought the grandkids were bad.
Fight it out amongst yourselves.
I’m off to bed.
They’re just scared you’ll run for Prez (the EU that is), or presidential consort – ah but for which condidate?
Just being a bit pedantic, in order to break up all the squabbling amongst the children, but you did say that the C.I.A. couldn’t wipe their arses without a road map so I wondered if in fact that meant that they could only wipe-t-a’s with one. Sharp creases ( in the maps ) and the shinyness of them ( the maps again ) conjured up some unsettling images.
“I wasn’t talking to you, you brain-dead Lefty fuckpig!” Ahh, British eloquence.
By the way, what’s French for tosser? Oh yeah, that’s it. Wanker(m) Wankeuse(f)
I point the finger at the ESB. They’ve been infiltrated by the Little People, the freemasons, Opus Dei, the Knights of Columbanus, Murdoch’s phonetappers, Mossad, siberian rats munching at underground wire insulation, invaders from Mars, a colony of new age meditationists… etc.
Jazus! Did I miss the free bag of yokes?
I told ya GD, TT was having a coup d’état and you go to bed. ‘Professional’
You can see the tactics emerging. Devide and conquer. The Merkins leave a lot of mayhem in their wake when they invade.
There’s only one person on this site that’s not a fucking pizza shit lefty fuckpig. and, it’s not TT.
Work on it.
Slab – I think all you missed was a bit of a bun fight. It’s good to let the children play from time to time.
Patrick – Please leave me out of this. And do you include yourself as a FPSLF? Just wondering….