An abuse of power
Grandad October 18th, 2011
We had one of those electrical fellas around yesterday.
I mentioned before how we had been having a little problem with fuses blowing all over the shop, so I thought it was time to let someone else have a look at the wiring.
When I first helped wire this house back in the 60s, life was relatively simple. All you needed beside a bed was a single socket for a bedside lamp, as alarm clocks were all clockwork. Now you need a fucking power station beside each bed to power the bedside lamp, the alarm clock, the vibrator mobile phone charger and fifty other fucking annoying things. And that is a simple example. My little office needs about five hundred sockets for all the shit that goes on in there such as printers, broadband, phone, ‘puter, radio and a moxy load of other yokes.
You get the drift?
Over the years I have had to adapt the house wiring slightly.
The bloke yesterday had a look at the wiring and immediately told us to move out of the house. He claimed that The Manor is in imminent danger of bursting into flames. Personally I think he has just been following the Priory Hall story a bit too closely. Fucking drama queen!
Anyhows, I asked him what the panic was and he pointed at one of my extensions and screamed something about bell-wire not being suitable for power. I pointed out that it provided a nice bit of background heat whenever something was plugged in. He wasn’t impressed. I don’t know why as surely wall heating is better than under-floor heating as the cables don’t get walked on?
He carried on around the house muttering to himself about amateurs, which was a bit fucking rude. I pointed out to him that I had probably forgotten more about electricity than he had ever learned. He replied that that was probably part of the problem. Cheeky fucker.
He reckons there is a lot of work to be done, and this means that I will probably have no electrification for the next while. Bang goes my broadband and my cuppa tea.
Personally I think it would be a lot simpler just to bypass the fuse board.
- Around the house
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Build the house out of asbestos then the wires can get as hot as they like. It is also a good idea to wear rubber boots and gloves to insulate against the occasional shock. Copper pipes can also double as conductors to save on wiring. You also get help with heating the water that way.
My ‘sparks’ was a know it all too, until I discovered he ran the earth cables and connected them to qualpex plastic piping!!!!!
Jim C – That isn’t a bad idea! I could connect the neutral to the cold water pipes and the live to the hot water pipes? It makes a lot of sense.
Not Green – If you had given that job [whatever it was] to me, then you could have saved a packet. Isn’t the neutral neutral? What the fuck do you need an earth cable for?
It comes on the roll of cable, ya have to put it someplace!
Not Green – Personally, I just cut it off. It’s damned handy for tying up plants.
was yer man pulling your wire….>
But with the mad regulations RECI dream up in Ireland, what they consider a risk of electrocution in a bathroom
your’d need to be a double jointed Olympic Russian gymnast
So go easy on the gymnastics until its all RECI approved.
I read the first line as: “We had one of those ELECTION fellas around yesterday” !
I was wondering why a potential President of Ireland was wandering around your manor muttering about electricity.
RECI = Regulation of Electrical Contraptions, Ireland
RECI = Rollicking Elves Condoning Intolerance
RECI = Royal Engineers Crapping Indoors
RECI = Right-handed Ewes Consoling Indigents
RECI = Regular Europeans Consorting with Irish
RECI = Really Excited Chinese Industrialist
RECI = Regionally Every Carpenter is Interesting
sighhh all too familiar, our sparky got a bit stressed finding pennies jammed in the box, well geez the fuses kept blowing what else were we to do?? not made of money and a few pennies saved maded the power work
That new fangled electrickery.
Brianf – I obviously caught you at an idle moment? Heh!
Cat – What the hell did he expect? Paper money?
TT – It’s bloody irritating how many things don’t work without it.
Now I know how you lot learned to “river dance”.
If you had a dongle, you wouldn’t need to worry about the broadband.
I don’t know why you went to all the bother with all that wiring crap. You should have gotten one of those ‘useful’ chaps who helped build Priory Hall to do the job for you. You could have had your interweb plugged into the bathroom taps, phone connected to the bog (for those dirty calls) TV Aerial into next door’s and maybe even had a lekky supply from them too.
Slab – I’m ahead of you.