The science of Guinness
Grandad November 12th, 2011
I was wandering around the Interweb this morning.
I called into Dick Puddlecote’s gaff. He wasn’t in, which gave me a grand opportunity for a snoop around. While I was there I found a little gem.
I discovered all the things I never knew about Guinness.
Why do the bubbles go down, and not up?
Why is the head white when the liquid is black [or deep red]?
Is the head a solid, a liquid or a gas?
What has a pint of Guinness got to do with the Beijing Olympics?
I think tonight I had better do a lot more study into this subject?
Heh!
- Rambles
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“We” are never too old to learn!!!! Slainte
One of my very favourite tipples – Had a cracking time in the Guinness factory some years ago. How much would you pay for a pint of the black stuff over there these days?
John – The research must continue. It will be a tough consignment, but I will continue the studies. Slainte mhaith.
Cardi – Prices vary depending on the part of the country you’re in. Somewhere around the €4 to €4.50 mark.
Yawn, He was a bleeding bore. Just drink taste, savour and enjoy. Repeat until glass is empty, get another, repeat the process. Have anoter, wash the bubbils, repot the head, drunk sum more, get an udder, go for a slash empty the gas, reppet, hav an udder. fukkit I thinkle peep I’m durunk
Congratulations, Slab. After five pints you are now officially classed as a problem drinker.
“I think tonight I had better do a lot more study into this subject” ..
As we used to say Grandad .. “Time spent in reconnaissance, is seldom wasted” …
GGGGGGGGd, *HiC* ders nutin loik der homebrew, *hIc* ye kno woz I meen
There goes nine minutes and seventeen seconds of my life I will never get back.
Here’s another fact about Guinness. It’s cheaper to buy over here.
Back in the day I was a bottled Guinness man myselfy, practically weaned on the stuff. As for the draft, I wouldn’t give it to a dying dog
XXX, the best
We believe in one drink, Guinness the almighty;
Makers of cans and bottles;
Of all that is drunk and un-drunk;
We believe in one brewer;Arthur.
The only son of Guinness;
Eternally begotten of the hops;
Hops from hops, barley from barley,
True drink from true drink.
Begotten, not made
Of one distiller of the Father.
Through it, all things were made
for us men and our salvation.
It comes down from St. James Gate.
By the power of the market, he became incarnate,
and was made a rich man.
For our sake, we are crucified under Pontius Prices,
Bad pints, suffer hangovers and AA meetings.
On the next day we rise again in accordance
with our scruples and ascend into oblivion.
We come again to judge the living and the dead.
We believe in one alcoholic beverage,
Brewed and bottled under license.
We acknowledge one, Arthur, inventor of the almighty pint
Conceived in heaven, and sold on earth.
Blessed is the one drink, through one father and many sons
Sold under one label and distributed throughout the World.
We look for the resurrection of new drinks,
And a cure for hangovers,
Amen.
Haddock – I have always been very meticulous when t comes to experimenting. I believe in repeating an experiment many many times in order to avoid errors.
TT – Time spent in education is never wasted. And the reason it is cheaper there is because we ship you the dregs from the bottom of the vats. Hah!
RonkonkomaCavan – I used to be a great man for the pint bottle. There is a lovely bite to it that the draught lacks. Pint bottles can sometimes be hard to find though.
Slab – Stoppit. Laughter is bad for the heart at my age.
Heresy!
Guinness is an art, not a science!
Guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem
with sex. “I think my privates are too small.” He says.
The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. “Well,
Lager,” he replies, quite bemused.
“Aaaahhh. There’s your problem. It shrinks things,
those Lagers. You should try drinking Guinness.
That makes things grow.”
Two months later the chap returns to the doctor
with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor
by the hand and thanks him.
“I take it you now drink Guinness?” asked the doc.
“No”, replies the man “but I’ve got the wife on Lager!”
Ian – That’s fine by me. It just means I can appreciate it while experimenting.
Not Green – That explains a lot. *cough*
A fine bit of scientific info there; but he still didn’t explain how it manages to turn your s**te black.
It’s just beer! Ok so it’s a Stout Porter Ale to be exact. It’s stuffed full of alcohol to make you stupid and the black patent malt turns your shit black. It’s just beer. Get over it!
and it’s still keg beer.
InisEanna – I promise to do some research into that over the coming weeks. Or maybe not……
Brianf – “It’s just beer! “ How very dare you! But then I suppose you think Budweiser is a beer also? Sad.
TT – Kegs? Bottles? Cans? Is there another way?
If any of ye Stout lovers are ever in Clare, then by all means you should check out this place:
http://clarelibrary.blogspot.com/2011/04/biddy-early-brewery-on-rtes-farmers.html
If you like your Guinness, then you’ll LOVE that stuff so much you’ll be booking into the nearest B&B
Sounds lovely but as they say on the site- “The brewery has since closed. “ ?
Yes there is. It’s called cask conditioned ale. Or real ale. Google it. Then drink it.
Oh ………. I guess I’ll have to start reading the local rags more often. It’s been about six years since I was in there. May poor aul’ Biddy rest in peace.
Next time I’m up in North Clare one place I know I’ll definitely be checking out is Curtin’s bar in Lisdoonvarna. Seems they’ve taken over the micro-brewery market in those parts:
http://www.roadsidetavern.ie/roadside/asp/page.asp?p=Burren%20Brewery
I was almost in love with that man.. Then he said he doesn’t drink.
Was a mesmerizing and intriguing video though. I liked it.