Archive for November 27th, 2011

Old dogs and new tricks

November 27th, 2011

I see myself as a fairly ordinary bloke.

I muddle along through life, doing the best I can and occasionally jotting my thoughts down here.  I don’t see anything extraordinary in that?

But then I come across something like this –

GET YOUR FOLKS ONLINE

Are your folks missing out because they’re not online?
Have you ever tried to help?
We know how difficult it can be!

Aha!  So that’s where I have been going wrong?  It explains one hell of a lot.  I shouldn’t be messing around here on the Interweb at all.  I have to wait until the daughter shows me how.

I will look forward to that.

So apparently she is going to teach me about “Using the mouse”?  That’s wrong for a start.  I don’t want to use the little fucker – I just want to kill it.  It has been shitting all over the place and resolutely ignoring all the traps.

Then there is “Sending an email”.  Again, that’s wrong.  I want to know how to send thousands of emails with one press of a key.  Those Viagra won’t sell themselves.

And “Shopping online”?   No, no, no!  That won’t do.  I need a course on “Stopping shopping online”.  Maybe then I could teach it to Herself.  Badly needed.  Just ask the poor postman.

Delving onto the site, I found a links page with all the links that any old fart would need.  There is a section there called “Blogs written by Older People”.  That’ll be interesting, I thought.  And what do I find in there?  Me.  Me and Grannymar.  The only two they could find?  And we are not even related?  Fuck!

So I am being held up as a beacon of light to the Old Folk of Ireland?  If that old fart can do it, then anyone can?  Hah!

In the meantime, I had better let the daughter know about this site so she can start teaching me.

Now, if only I knew how to use email………………