Archive for December, 2011

Wireless wireless

December 20th, 2011

There was a bloke selling radios down in the pub the other night.

They were dirt cheap as apparently they were from a fire-damage sale.  I pointed out that they were in perfect condition and the bloke said that that was because it was actually a pre-fire sale.  Fair enough.  There are a lot of those sales these days.  I bought one.

Herself likes to listen to the radio so I thought it would make a great Christmas present for her.

On Sunday I thought I would try it out.

The first thing I discovered was that it isn’t a normal radio.  It’s one of those interweb thingies that gets its signal from the little box in the back room.  I also discovered that it needed batteries.  I mentioned that last bit in my scribble and some of you seem to gave misunderstood what I wanted the batteries for?

Leastwise I got it going eventually.

Once it was lit up and rearing to go, I discovered that there is a bewildering selection of stations to choose from.  I tried a station in Auckland first.  The quality of the signal was perfect but they kept on about the temperature being twenty something degrees and how I should get my barbie supplies in before Christmas.  Fuck that!

The next station that I picked at random was in Vermont in the states.  Some bloke there was playing some really ancient stuff, and it brought back great memories of the sixties and seventies.  When the DJ started raving on about the Monkees that I realised that he wasn’t playing a “golden oldies” but was into Vermont’s top twenty.  They seem to be a little behind the times there?

This morning Herself was out somewhere so I thought I would try it out in the shed.

The fucking thing won’t work there as my interweb doesn’t stretch that far.

Bollox!

Now I have to try to work out how to get the signal down there.

Life can be bloody complicated sometimes.

Job vacancy

December 19th, 2011

I see there is a vacancy for a dictator in North Korea?

I have a very simple suggestion.

Why don’t we pack up Van Rompuy and the rest of his fucking power crazy unelected cronies and ship them over there?

Instead of turning Europe into a dictatorship which is their obvious aim, they can take over a ready made one and leave us alone.

Problem solved.

Powerless

December 18th, 2011

I just went down the village for the paper and some batteries.

Came back with both.

That’s when I discovered I needed six, not four batteries.

Fuck!

I’m not going out again.

Herself will have to do without.

In the mind of a flasher

December 17th, 2011

Damn but it’s cold out today!

I had better put it back in.

It’s turning blue.

Insane

December 16th, 2011

Back when I was a lad, kids were normal.

Like normal kids we went about our business beating the crap out of each other, robbing orchards, having fun and… well… just being normal.

If we were bold, we got a belt around the ear.  If we stared out of the classroom window we got shouted at.  If we argued, we went without supper. 

Nowadays it’s different.  If a child does anything outside the Enid Blyton model of ideal childhood then there must be something wrong.  The child must have a mental disorder.  Parents can now proudly announce that their little brat has ADHD or ADD and let him continue to run rampage in society.  There is no point in discipline because he has a “disorder”.  If a neighbours kid comes into my garden and sets fire to the dog, I have to pat him on the head and send him home with some sweets because he is suffering from HND or Hatred of Neighbours Disorder.

Parents love this new system because it relieves them of all responsibility.  If your child is a spoiled, disobedient, nasty tempered little fuck, there is no point in correcting him because he can’t help it – he is mentally ill.

Even worse, these unruly, undisciplined little brats are being medicated instead of getting the resounding belt they deserve.  There is a kind of poetic justice there, as parents drug their kids as soon as they can walk, and then moan later in life when the kids start taking their own class of drugs.  What’s wrong with heroin when you have been fed Valium all your life?  It’s just a different drug?

I came across a new one yesterday.

ODD.

Apparently ODD is characterised by questioning authority, negativity, defiance, argumentativeness, and being easily annoyed.

That’s not a mental illness.

That’s a blogger in the making.

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