Archive for December, 2011

Preparing for Global Warming

December 10th, 2011

I see the Climate Change Talks are all but over.

It was nice of them to hold those talks in Durban where they have nice high temperatures in December.  I suppose they can try to convince themselves that climate change is a reality by looking out the window?

Most of their time seems to have been spent deciding whether they were drawing up a “legal framework” or a “legal instrument”.  I suppose they have to justify all those massive expenses somehow and fighting over semantics is as good an excuse as any?  Either way it is going to cost us all a shed load of money.

In the meantime, it is bloody cold here.

It wouldn’t surprise me if we had a couple of inches of Global Warming before Christmas.

I had better dig the snow shoes out….

Getting the turkeys to vote for Christmas

December 9th, 2011

Our gubmint has a wee drop of a problem.

It’s almost fun watching them squirm like a worm on a hook.

Their problem is that the Sauerkraut and the Frog have decided that the only way for the Euro to survive is for us to hand over our chequebooks and credit card to Brussels, which in effect means we have to hand over our sovereignty.  Whoever holds the purse-strings calls the shots, as it were. 

The gubmint’s problem is that they want to do this but they have to do it in such a way as to avoid a referendum, because they know damn well that a referendum is more than likely to fail.  And if the referendum fails then that is pretty much the end of the Euro and the EU.

So I imagine that they are even now running around like blue arsed flies trying to work out the propaganda to get us to vote ‘yes’ -

Europe has been very good to us in the past.  [Hah!]

We will all be one big happy family.  [In my arse, we will]

If we vote ‘no’ then the entire population will be down on O’Connell Bridge with our polystyrene cups doing a spot of begging.

If we vote ‘no’ then all our children will be born with horns and cloven hooves.

If we vote ‘no’ then Europe will hate us for ever and ever and ever and ever.

We have to vote ‘yes’ because there is no alternative.  [Yes there is – it’s called voting ‘no’]

If we vote ‘no’ then it will cost us a fortune as we will have to run a whole series of referendums until we vote ‘yes’.

If we vote ‘no’ there will be no more ‘X-factor’ or ‘I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here’ on television. [Actually, that could be a winner?]

And so on…..

Isn’t it strange that in a so called ‘democratic society’ that the gubmint should be so scared of asking the peoples opinion?

Flaming Olympics

December 8th, 2011

I see they are talking about bringing the Olympic Torch to Ireland.

Big.  Fucking.  Wow.

They seem to think that this is a big honour but I can’t think why.  Flames are quite common these days with the invention of the match and all.  In fact, I have just lit the central heating.  Maybe I should have invited the neighbours in to admire The Flame?

I am dreading the Olympics.  I am dreading the endless reports, replays and analysis.  Any decent programming on television will go out the window to make way for endless film of wankers chasing each other around a track.  How fucking boring can you get.

It wouldn’t be too bad if it were ordinary Joe Soaps taking part, but the whole business has descended into farce with millions being poured into the training.  It’s like a clinically well oiled machine now and the best drop of excitement can only be achieved by someone shaving a millionth of a second off the previous record.  We will also get the inevitable accusations that some contestant should be disqualified on the grounds [pun!] that they drank a cup of coffee in the previous six months.  So fucking what?

To make the Olympics more interesting they should really allow performance enhancing drugs.  Each contestant could wear the logo of the drug company and we could watch with baited breath as the runners cross the finishing line only to explode in a blaze of glory.  The contest would then be between the drugs and not the contestants.  I reckon that would liven things up considerably.  We could even see contestants being disqualified for not taking drugs.  Heh!

In the meantime, if I see some tosser running past the house carrying a flaming torch, I suppose I can always ask him for a light?

Preparing for the Dildo

December 6th, 2011

Yesterday we had Budget 2011 V1.0 [codename Scrooge].

Later today we will have Budget 2011 V2.0 [codename Dildo].

One of the worst kept secrets was confirmed yesterday – the Property Tax.

This is a tax to be levied on all properties in the Republic.  I must say it is a very fair and equitable tax as I will illustrate -

house1
The owners of this property will have to pay a mere €100.

house2
The owners of this property will have to pay a massive €100.

I confess I am a little disappointed in the property tax.  I was hoping for a much larger amount.

You see, I have absolutely zero intention of paying the fucking thing so I will save a hundred yoyos a year.  On the other hand if the tax were a lot larger, I would correspondingly save a hell of a lot more.

Bastards.

Time now to prepare myself with vast quantities of KY Jelly and Prozac.

Nearly time for Round Two.

A happy nation

December 5th, 2011

The few of you who bother to read the comments on this site may have noticed a link there yesterday.

It was an Irish Times report that I had read, but I had to wait until my blood cooled below boiling point before I could mention it.

Psychiatrist calls for lithium to be added to water

There are so many things wrong with this that I don’t know where to start.

What really worries me about this is that the idiot who suggested it – Moosajee Bhamjee – is a respected member of society and an ex TD [member of parliament].  He presumably therefore has the ears of the Minister for Sickness and ill-health.   Even more worrying is that this is just the kind of mindless crazy thing they would implement without even mentioning it to the public.  Maybe they have already started, but judging by my reactions, they haven’t introduced it in my area yet.

I’m no medic but from my meagre knowledge, lithium is used to treat Bipolar Disorder [or Manic Depression as some of us call it].  So he wants to dump this drug into the water supply so we are all forced to drink it, whether we have Bipolar or not.  Has he wondered how it would react with any other medications we might legally [or illegally] be taking?  Has he considered how some people drink a lot more water than others?  Does he realise that by contaminating the water supply he is also contaminating the whole food chain?  Has he even wondered at the moral implications of drugging an entire population?

What scares me most is that this would be a typical Nanny/Bully State reaction to a relatively small problem.  The number of suicides here is horrendous – 600 per year – but as a percentage of the whole population, it is a relatively small number.  I can just hear them though, crying out that “if it will save one life it will be worth it”.  It is the catchphrase of the Bully State and is used to impose the most draconian laws on us.

To be honest, it’s not the act of forcing a drug on us that worries me…

It’s that fact that someone would even suggest it.

Jack D Ripper was right

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