Archive for the 'America' Category
America declares war on Ireland
Grandad February 20th, 2008
Earlier today, I initiated a bit of anti-spam policy.
As usual, the Americans overreacted and declared war.
And, as usual, they missed.
My apologies [on behalf of the American people] to the people of Bristol.
Asteroid TU24 to impact and cause chaos tomorrow
Grandad January 27th, 2008
There is an asteroid heading our way. NASA have known about it for some time. It is going to arrive tomorrow.
Asteroid 2007 TU24.
The only question is where is it going to impact?
According to NASA, it is going to fly by close to us at a distance of 334,000 miles.
However, the conspiracy theorists claim that this is a cover-up by NASA, and that it is in fact going to hit South America at 0500 GMT. NASA don’t want to cause panic amongst the Earth’s population, but world leaders are all heading for the bunkers.
I like conspiracy theories. In fact, there are a couple of them I subscribe to myself. So why should I doubt this one?
For a start, anyone who has ever been to the cinema or watched television knows damn well that any asteroid or meteor that hits earth, always hits either New York or California.
And the same source tells us that anything that is heading for earth will have Bruce Willis fired at it.
I can tell you for a fact that the asteroid is going to impact.
It is going to hit South America [or New York or California] in which case we needn’t worry about Global Warming any more.
or….
It is going to smack into the arse of the conspiracy theorists and they are going to have one hell of a headache on Monday afternoon.
So who is right? NASA or the conspiracy theorists?
I can’t wait to wake up tomorrow and find out.
Grandad is a Looney Left and proud of it
Grandad January 5th, 2008
Yesterday, I took a pop at American gun control [or lack of].
I got a lovely response from Sear and Hammer.
“Guns are heavily regulated here in Ireland, so the chances of me finding myself face to face with an armed burglar are slim. If any Tom Dick or Harry could buy a gun then, yes, I would feel I would have to own one too. It is a stupid viscous circle.”
Really? And just today the Belfast telegraph announced that there were “900 knife crimes in just one year” in Northern Ireland. I guess you’d say those criminals weren’t armed?
Of course this is after a number of gun bans. So now the UK is talking about “knife crime” and a “knife culture” and people are discussing knife bans. Next they’ll be talking about “brick crime”, “brick culture”, and brick bans. People will be violent whether there are weapons or not. The question is whether or not the victims have the tools they need to defend themselves against criminals. Right now the best tool for self defense is a handgun. Why deprive the law-abiding citizen of the right to self defense?
“If you have guns lying around the place, then people are going to get shot. It is such a simple argument.”
Really? By the same logic if you have a pot of boiling water sitting around then somebody’s going to get scalded? If you have a car sitting around then somebody’s going to get run over? If you have a knife sitting around somebody’s going to get stabbed? If you have a rock sitting around somebody’s going to get their skull bashed in?
With rights comes responsibility. If you’re not responsible enough to teach your children not to play with dangerous objects and not to leave dangerous objects where irresponsible children will find them then that’s a parenting issue you need to deal with. It’s not an excuse to take away a tool that can be the difference between life and death for a responsible citizen.
I love it!
I love the way they equate a pot of boiling water to a gun!
Normally, I would just respond with a comment but this is deserving of its own post.
Dear SandH,
I see from your website that you advocate that we should all be wandering around with guns strapped to our hips like a wild west scenario, so I very much doubt you will pay much attention to the voice of reason. You already are committed to arming the population, and propagating the spread of lethal weapons. You won’t be happy until we are all taking pot shots at one another?
OK. Northern Ireland? You say there were 900 knife crimes? So by your arguments, the victims of those crimes would have been armed, and we would now have 900 dead bodies? What would that solve? All you have done is turn a victim into a killer. Nice one.
You talk about banning “weapons” and then descend into the ridiculous. Of all the “weapons” you mention [knives, bricks, cars, rocks, pots of boiling water(?)] only one is specifically designed to kill people - guns. A gun’s sole purpose is to kill [and don't give me that shit about target shooting]. The others are all designed for other purposes and you know it. You’ll be talking about banning pillows next because people have been smothered with them.
Guns are lethal weapons. They kill. You talk about being responsible, but then talk about teaching children to handle lethal weapons? That is insane. Children are not mature adults. Even mature adults suffer from moments of rage, confusion, panic and irrationality. They make mistakes. They act on the spur of the moment. To handle a gun, you have to be sane, logical, highly controlled in the face of danger and intelligent enough to know the consequences of your actions. How many of the general population fulfil all those criteria?
A gun is the ultimate weapon of no return. You pull the trigger - the victim is probably dead. It’s too late then to realise you have made a mistake.
I have read your site with interest. It scares me.
It shows how far behind some people are on the evolutionary scale, and that saddens me.
It is a glimpse into the mind of the paranoid, and that too scares me.
Even your images scare me; not in the way you intend, but that people like you should try to instil your paranoia into others.
Incidentally, I like your New Year Resolutions You call me the loony left? Thank you for the compliment.
I would far rather be a member of the looney left than a member of a fascist right wing obsessive psychopathic paranoid movement like yours.
Yours affectionately,
Grandad
P.S. I bet you think George W is the saviour of mankind too?
G
I’m going to buy a Magnum
Grandad January 4th, 2008
Americans are weird.
I just cannot understand this thing they have for guns.
They rant about their ‘right to bear arms’. They train their kids to shoot before they can walk. Some of them have guns in every room.
And then they worry that they may get shot.
They cry out in horror when some kid goes ballistic [hah!] and shoots a load of people. They’re scared to sack someone in case he returns with an Uzi.
I came across this site a while ago [I can't remember how or where] and I didn’t know what to make of it.
It is the most surreal website I have ever come across. I thought at first it was a joke, but I don’t think it is.
Just take a look at the products on offer, and ask yourself if this is a mature society.
I think the scariest part is the video they have so proudly embedded on their front page. Look at the woman and her casual attitude. Look at her expression at the end. Is she fit to be a mother?
Take a look, and let me know what you think. Am I mad? Are they mad? Is the whole world going mad?
I’m going down to my corner shop, and I’m going to buy myself a Magnum.
It’s a chocolate covered ice-cream on a stick.
I’ve been tagged again
Grandad November 11th, 2007
Our K8 has come up with a new meme.
And, bless her little cotton socks, she has passed it on to me.
She wants me to write a post that uses every tag. It’s all very well for her - she only has a few. I have loads. The cow!
Now I may be getting old but I find these difficult. I had a hard days blogging yesterday, as I had a good rant on a podcast to America. That was after I did my post on Cully and Sully.
So today I went for a ramble around the garden, trying to think of a topic. No go. There was no inspiration around the house either, and I’m damned if I’m going around the village or around the town for something so trivial.
Back in the 70’s life was a lot simpler. There were no computers or Internet, or even television so there were no memes. I had no irritating daughter in the family either. We found our pleasures in simple things. I remember learning to drive so we could go on holidays touring in the West, with no worries about flying and Global Warming. We had such simple sports as children in times past, like watching spiders spin their webs, and the designs they’d make. We’d go for rambles through the woods and have picnics of tea and spam sandwiches. We were a lot healthier for it.
Nowadays, work is the new religion and people have lost the use of their imagination. People only get worked up over celebrities and smoking out corrupt politicians. They panic over property prices and have lost sight of the soul of life.
No.
I can’t think of anything.
I elect not to do it.
I’m going to file this under Uncatagorised.
Maybe Sixty should have a bash at this?
Or how about Kirk at Just Thinkin’? I haven’t tagged him before.
And it’s a while since I annoyed Grannymar!!
F*cking memes….
- America , Around the garden , Around the house , Around the town , Around the village , Back to the 70s , Cully & Sully , Election , Getting old , Global Warming , Health , Holidays , Internet , Learning to drive , On the road , Podcasting , Politics , Property , Rambles , Rants , Religion? , Smoking , Television , The Family , Times past , Tourists , Uncategorized , Web design , computers , spam , sport , work
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