Grandad October 6th, 2011
I was poking around the Interweb last night when the news came out about Steve Jobs.
The only thing that I really know about Jobs is that he had something to do with Apple Computers and that he was one of the pioneers of the computer age.
To watch Twitter and the rest of the Interweb last night you would swear that God had been pronounced dead. Supposedly normal people were confessing they were crying at the news. For fuck’s sake!
The one thing that Jobs did brilliantly was to cash in on the stupidity and vanity of modern yoof. His master stroke was to turn computers, phones and things into a fashion statement. He created the iGeneration.
I have never owned anything made by Apple. The only experience I have is of the Apple Mac which I was forced to use on a couple of occasions. I did not like it.
The only technology I have is this laptop which is a Packard Bell. The only reason I know it’s a Packard Bell is because it is written on it. I could have bought any one of a load of machines but this one had the little bells and whistles that I wanted. I have an old Nokia phone which has its build in camera [never used], music player [never used] and a clatter of other gimmicks [never used]. I use it for making phone calls and that’s it. When I produce my phone in public I couldn’t give a flying shite what other people think, and that’s where I differ from the iGeneration. They have been conned into believing that they are a nobody if they don’t have the latest flashiest gizmo to show off.
I read an article on a blog during the week about the new iPhone. One of the most telling criticisms of it was that “It looks the same as the iPhone 4, so people can’t tell it apart at a glance. Let’s face it, that’s what a lot of people want from the iPhone.” In other words, people are not going to be so keen on it as they won’t be able to flash it around. Will it make cheaper phone calls? No. Will it make phoning people any easier? No. So what is the point in buying it? None, apart from having a yoke that is supposed to make your friends jealous.
I just wonder what the iGeneration are going to do now without their guru?
Grandad October 1st, 2011
The phone rang just now.
I checked the display as always and it told me the number was “withheld”. Those calls always put me on full alert.
Sure enough, it was some Asian fucker inquiring whether I had a computer.
Of course I knew straight away what this was – the scam of talking me through fixing a non-existent problem that sooner or later would either involve hard cash or a compromised computer.
I gave him a bit of a lecture. I told him that he was exploiting the innocent and that he really shouldn’t do it. I told him that telling porkies about computers being faulty was only going to worry the old and vulnerable. I told him that there was nothing wrong with my computer and that his information was in any case incorrect as I was using Linux and that his little “fixes” wouldn’t work. I told him that he should really mend the errors of his ways and that he should get himself an honest job.
Actually I didn’t say any of that.
I had more than a sneaking suspicion that he has used some kind of callback device and that I was paying for the call.
So I just told him to go fuck himself, before slamming down the phone.
Grandad September 1st, 2011
If you were having a problem getting into this site in the last hour or so, it wasn’t just you.
The whole thing collapsed on me.
Lock, stock and fucking barrel.
Apparently the server was suffering from an attack of Global Warming and a nasty dose of second hand cigarette smoke.
*cough*
Grandad August 2nd, 2011
For various reasons, I have to use Windows at the moment.
I fired up my Mail thingy and the last mail that I had downloaded was dated last February. That indicates reasonably fell my fondness for Windows.
The Other Fella tells me that this is a fairly good laptop. He says it has a Double Core Processor, which sounds like some kind of kitchen yoke for mashing apples. He says it has four gagas of memory which is more than I have. He also said something about sixty four bits, but he didn’t say what they are bits of. He’s weird.
Leastwise, it is supposed to be a fast machine. I wish someone would tell Windows that. The fucking thing is driving me mad. It is so fucking slow that I swear I could work things out faster with a pen and bit of paper. It keeps nagging me about updates for various things and I keep trying to ignore it, but it is so fucking persistent. It just keeps nagging on and on and on. It’s worse than Herself, and that is really saying something.
They say that the majority of offices use Windows. It is no fucking wonder that the world is in a state of chassis.
And the games are fucking crap as well.
Grandad July 5th, 2011
There is always the possibility that I could be hit by a bus tomorrow.
Or it could be a stray bolt of lightning.
Or a meteorite.
Or something.
Leastwise, as some wise old sage was once heard to mutter into his cornflakes – “you never know the day nor the hour”.
With that in mind, I started wondering about all my Interweb shit. Herself wouldn’t be able to access anything that I have done on line. There is a lot of important shit in there that she would need to access. There is also a lot of shit in there that I don’t want her to access. *cough*
I did a quick guess as to how many user names and passwords that I had.
I guessed at twenty, give or take a few.
I was wrong.
One hundred and ninety fucking one accounts.
Holy shit!!!
Where did they all come from? I haven’t a clue what half them are, but I must have signed in at some stage or other. Other accounts have several user names, and I don’t know why.
I have managed to write them all down and will leave her the file in my will……
minus all the sites I don’t want her to know about, of course.
That should bring the figure nearer twenty.
Heh!
Subscribe to audio
