Archive for the 'Election' Category

Go away and leave me alone

February 8th, 2011

One thing that really pisses me off about elections is the amount of rubbish that is thrown around.

That rubbish falls into two camps – the shite that is thrown through my letterbox and the shite they stick up on poles everywhere.

For some reason we seem to be a two party constituency at the moment.  Fine Gael have cornered the market when it comes to plastering the poles with their fucking placards, and Labour are doing their damndest to fill up my porch with their shite.

I would dearly love to know if ever in the history of this country, someone has voted for a candidate because of a fucking poster.  I have never heard of our Fine Gael candidate.  His face is plastered everywhere, and despite their best efforts, I still couldn’t tell you his name.  I will say one thing for him though – he is the ugliest bastard I have seen in a long time.  He has a face that not even a mother could love.  I have commandeered one of his posters and have stuck it in the field, facing away from the house, of course.  It makes an excellent scarecrow.

As for the rubbish that comes through the door… Why the fuck to they have to send the same thing to everyone in the house?  Three lots of shit instead of one.  [I registered Sandy as a voter some years ago.]  Again I couldn’t tell you who my Labour candidates are despite having about nine cards posted to me.  They just go straight in the bin.

On a point of principle, I do intend to memorise every candidate who comes through my letterbox or defaces my lampposts.  I want to know who not to vote for. 

If any candidate calls to my door, they are going to get an earful about despoiling my countryside.

Except of course for Fianna Fail and the Greens.

I have a very special welcome lined up for them.

Dame Enda Average

February 5th, 2011

At last we are in the process of getting rid of the greatest arsehole of a leader.

Unfortunately it looks like we are getting another one.

Going by the opinion polls, the two biggest parties in the next Dail are going to be Fine Gael and Labour, with Fine Gael in the dominant position.  The new Taoiseach is therefore going to be Dame Enda Average.

What the fuck is it with Dame Enda?

Here is a bloke who the general public don’t particularly like and who is even distrusted by a lot of his own party, yet he persists in the notion of being Taoiseach.

Personally I don’t like him.  He may be a thousand times better than the old cunt who is leaving but that is a reflection on the old cunt and not on Dame Enda.

Sometime last year, Vincent Browne made the comment that Dame Enda should take a bottle of whiskey and a gun into a darkened room.  Browne apologised for it afterwards and that normally would be the end of the matter.  Not so for our Dame Enda.  He is still simmering like a fucking primadonna over the episode and is now throwing a hissy fit and stamping his little foot about it.  He is refusing categorically to appear on any television show that has any connection with Vincent Browns.  What the fuck?  That is the kind of carry-on I would expect from a child, and definitely not one I would expect from the future leader of our Gubmint.

Dame Enda should get out of the fucking driving seat.  He is totally unfit for purpose, and should stand aside for someone else.  If he gets into a strop over a joke [albeit a very bad one] on television, whet the hell is he going to be like when dealing with that shower of fuckwads in Brussels.  He will probably burst into tears the first time anyone looks crosswise at him.

Herself likes him.

She says he has a nice smile.

*sigh*

The Honey Pot

February 2nd, 2011

Well, they are out of the traps and running.

The election campaigns are already in full swing, and so far I am thoroughly underwhelmed.

So far, all I have heard is the usual petty point-scoring and bickering,  each party trying to outdo the other by catching them out on trifling matters and essentially just confusing people.

They have all missed the point.

They think we wanted the old crowd out and a new crowd in.  Wrong.  We wanted the old crowd out of course, and the quicker the better, but we don’t want to replace them with a bunch of different faces spewing out the same tired old policies that have destroyed the country.  I have lost count of the number of times I have heard that  what we want is a different system, not just a different party.

The old system is corrupt, expensive and it doesn’t work.  Representatives that are elected on parish pump issues are by definition not the right people to run the country.  They may be good at getting pot-holes in the road filled, or fixing peoples driving test problems, but that does not qualify them to negotiate far reaching financial policies with foreign banks, or understand all the petty regulations which are foisted on us by Europe.

It is my contention that the system will never work all the time we elect people on local issues who then have to deal with national issues.  By all means, elect people on local issues, but let those elections be for local councils and not the national parliament.  National elections should be on national issues only, and furthermore should be based on an all-Ireland constituency.  If I like the policies of Joe Rasher from Galway, I should be allowed vote for him and not the plonker who is standing in my area.  Furthermore, this system would allow for far fewer TDs.  Why do we elect 166, who spend their time not turning up, when a handful would do?  Essentially the government in power only needs say two people for each ministry.  The rest are superfluous and damned expensive.

The way we are going now is just going to lead to a repetition of the old problems – TDs who see the Dail as a cosy honey pot where protection of their own salaries and pensions is more important than the protection of the country.

That may sound cynical but I have been watching Irish politics for too long.

Fianna Fail admit defeat?

June 5th, 2009

Somehow I think the ‘See the Failure’ add-on for Firefox robs Fianna Fáil’s Twitterings of some of their gravitas?

fiannafail
Click to embiggen

And the dead arose and appeared to many

June 5th, 2009

I hate election days.

The only good thing about them is that we will hopefully see the last of those fucking election posters.  I am pissed off from endlessly seeing the same faces every time I go out.  Is it a prerequisite that you have to be an ugly fucker before you can stand for election?  That certainly seems to be the case in my area.

Of course I voted.  Several times.

Then I had to move to a different polling station because they were getting suspicious.  They must have been using Twitter or something because that place got suspicious too.  That is a terrible shame as I still have dozens of polling cards left over.

I take my civic responsibilities very seriously and believe in casting my vote.  I know the dead of my parish [and several other parishes] hold the same views and that is why I vote on their behalf.

Just because you are dead, doesn’t mean you don’t still have rights?

I just nipped home for a quick mug of tea and a piss, and I’m off again shortly.  I have a busy afternoon ahead of me.

Myself and the lads are going to do the rounds of the stations again.  This time we will be having a little distraction from our normal sport.

  • Fianna Fáil Candidate – 200 points.
  • Green Candidate – 300 points [rarity value].
  • Pro government voter – 40 points.
  • Any child wearing a FF or Green sticker – 60 points [smaller target].
  • Pro-government Independent Candidate – 250 points.

I’m hoping for the County Trophy, so it is going to be a long day.

Wish me luck.

And does anybody want a couple of dozen polling cards?

« Prev - Next »