Head Rambles

Grandad May 14th, 2008

There is a global shortage of food at the moment and it is getting far worse.

By 2030 we will need 66% more food, and we haven’t enough at the moment.

There are two main reasons for the shortage.  One reason is a series of bad harvests due to bad weather, and the other is that vast tracts of arable land are being turned over to the growing of bio-fuel.

Of course everyone is going to blame Global Warming for this.  Global Warming caused the bad harvests, and we need bio-fuels to combat Global Warming.

This is a load of crap.

We have been having periodical bad harvests for as long as I remember.  Floods one year - a drought the next.  Shit happens.

The using of land for the growth of bio-fuels is another matter.  Here we have huge land masses turned over to providing fuel for cars, based on a half baked unproven theory. 

When it comes down to a choice between feeding a family in Africa or being able to drive little Samantha down to nursery school in the SUV, we all know what our priorities are.  Little Samantha comes first and the family in Africa can starve.

Apparently the maize needed for one fill of an SUV could feed a family of four for a month.  But the SUV comes first and the family of four can go fuck themselves.

It isn’t Global Warming that is causing this starvation.  It’s you Eco Terrorists.  You and your carbon footprints.  You and your ‘eco-friendly’ fuels.  You and your ’save the planet’.

So the next time you waffle on about carbon footprints and feel all smug and self satisfied that you are saving mankind, and the next time you climb into your ego boosting SUV, just think of that family of four in Africa. 

And the hundreds of thousands of families like them.

• Global Warming
• Comments(22)

Grandad April 26th, 2008

Last night, I watched Al Gore’s ‘An Inconvenient Truth’.

I consider myself a fair minded person, so I cleared my head of all pre-conceived notions and sat down to watch.

At the end of the film, I was baffled.

Was this the film that had started a global movement to combat Global Warming?

Was this the film that has the world’s nations in a spin?

Was this the film that ultimately led to Al Gore getting a Nobel Prize?

What I saw was an ego trip for a failed president.  We had long lingering shots of votes being recounted in Florida.  We had bits about how he should have won the election.

Then we had loads of shots of Al Gore looking wise and pensive as he stared out an aircraft window, or contemplated a lake.

We had a lot of family history.  We heard all about is father and the cattle they used to breed.  We heard how his father stopped growing tobacco when his sister died of cancer.

In between, there was a lot of stuff about Global Warming, I’ll grant you, but it seemed incidental to the promotion of Gore as a wise and caring person with a terrible line in off the cuff jokes.

The science bit was so dumbed down that I cringed.  Matt Groening cartoons showing greenhouse gasses fighting sunbeams, for God’s sake?  The ’science’ bits seemed to be selected so that Gore could demonstrate his incredible ‘wit’.  There were so many holes in his arguments I could have driven the entire American Navy through them.

All his data seemed to come from ‘friends of his’.  He was incredibly selective in his data too.

Most of the time, he showed us graphs showing climate trends since 1970 or 1960.  What?  An that basis I can argue that today is colder than yesterday, therefore by the end of next week, we’ll be into another ice age!

He was hot on the computer graphics too.  He showed us Manhattan after the Greenland Icecap has melted, and of course focused on the site of the World Trade Centre.  If you want to whip up American fervour, you must mention the World Trade Centre.

What I saw was a film glorifying Al Gore.  What I didn’t see was anything to make me worry unduly about Global Warming.

I must have seen the wrong film.

If anyone has the right one, can they send it to me please?

• Global Warming
• Comments(18)

Grandad March 31st, 2008

I don’t really believe in tokenism.

If the worlds cod stocks are running low then eating four fish fingers instead of five isn’t going to save them.  Especially if you only do it on one day a year.

If world petrol supplies are in crisis then using a push bike for one hour a year isn’t going to do much.

So switching off non essential lights for one hour isn’t going to achieve anything.  It’s a token gesture.

Why not go the whole hog?

What I would propose is that every country in the world sign up to this.  And at a predetermined time, all power stations are shut down.

Of course we could throw in the entertainment factor and not forewarn the worlds population when this is going to happen.  That would be fun.

I didn’t save any electricity on Saturday.  At 8pm I just put my clocks forward by an hour and in an instant, my period of darkness was over. 

Two birds with one stone as it were. 

• Global Warming
• Comments(20)

Grandad February 19th, 2008

So John Gormley Gormless, our dear Minister for the Environment and Limp Lettuce Leaf has spoken yet again.

Forget Al Gore.  Forget the Kyoto Protocol.  Gormless is single handedly saving the world from Global Warming all by himself.

He is taxing high emission vehicles.  He is banning patio heaters.  He is banning incandescent bulbs.

He is now asking us to stop drinking bottled water.

You see, bottled water comes in plastic bottles, and they are causing havoc.  We use too many of them.  We must drink tap water instead because it is just as good.

Let’s wind the clock back to last summer, John.  Do you remember Galway?  Do you remember how Galway city and half of East Galway County had infected water that was undrinkable for months?  You must have forgotten about that.

But do you remember back to more recent times, John?  In fact it was only three weeks ago that you were worried about a report that said that 36% [yes - over a third] of our water supplies were hazardous with cryptosporidium or E.coli.

However, I suppose poisoning a third of the population is a small price to pay so that Gormless can feel he is pushing the green agenda.

So I ask you all to raise a glass to John.

Sláinte.
[which, in case you have forgotten, John, translates as 'Health']

• Global Warming , Politics
• Comments(24)

Grandad February 5th, 2008

Al Gore is one of the greatest hypocrites this planet has ever produced.  And I hate hypocrisy.

Because of him and his fucking “Inconvenient Truth” the world is going berserk. 

Scientists are still divided as to the cause of Global Warming.  There are still many eminent experts who say that the jury is still out. But this damned glory seeker is being cited as Gospel.

Suppose, just for a moment, that he is right.  Just suppose that mankind is affecting climate change.  Then what should the Chief Advocate be doing about it?  He should be leading by example.  He should be switching off his lights.  He should be refusing to fly [which they claim is one of the greatest causes of damage].  Instead of which, he is jetting non-stop around the world, lapping up the plaudits, and glorying in his eco-god status.  He has a 20 room house [and pool house] that consumed 221,000 kilowatt-hours in 2006, which is more than 20 times the national average of 10,656 kilowatt-hours.

I lead a quiet life.  In the last two years, I have not flown.  I have driven a total of 6,600 kilometres.  Where possible, I use CFL bulbs [not because of the environment, but because they are cheaper to run, and last longer].  I produce very little waste and put out my bin about once a month.  But because of Gore, we have the likes of John Gormless of the Limp Side Salad Green Party getting on his eco-wagon and telling us how we are to lead our lives.  We aren’t allowed bonfires.  They are banning ordinary lightbulbs.  They are taxing fuel inefficient cars.  What next?  Are they going to ban matches because they are made of wood?  Are we going to be forced to become vegetarian because animals produce too much methane?

Because of Gore and Gormless, I am going to be forced to use CFL bulbs everywhere.  But some of the lights are only on for a very short time, for example when I enter the garage or a spare room. And CFL bulbs use more power if used for very short periods.  So my power consumption is going to go up.

I won’t even start into the fact that I contribute far less than a trillionth of polluting gases, compared to governments and industry.  Or the fact that my contribution to global warming is equivalent to a flea pissing in the ocean.

You started it all, Gore.  You’re a wanker.  You may not like the fact.

But it’s just an inconvenient truth.

• Global Warming , Rants
• Comments(38)

Grandad January 27th, 2008

There is an asteroid heading our way.  NASA have known about it for some time.  It is going to arrive tomorrow.

Asteroid 2007 TU24.

The only question is where is it going to impact?

According to NASA, it is going to fly by close to us at a distance of 334,000 miles.

However, the conspiracy theorists claim that this is a cover-up by NASA, and that it is in fact going to hit South America at 0500 GMT.  NASA don’t want to cause panic amongst the Earth’s population, but world leaders are all heading for the bunkers.

I like conspiracy theories.  In fact, there are a couple of them I subscribe to myself.  So why should I doubt this one?

For a start, anyone who has ever been to the cinema or watched television knows damn well that any asteroid or meteor that hits earth, always hits either New York or California.

And the same source tells us that anything that is heading for earth will have Bruce Willis fired at it.

I can tell you for a fact that the asteroid is going to impact.

It is going to hit South America [or New York or California] in which case we needn’t worry about Global Warming any more.

or….

It is going to smack into the arse of the conspiracy theorists and they are going to have one hell of a headache on Monday afternoon.

So who is right?  NASA or the conspiracy theorists?

I can’t wait to wake up tomorrow and find out.

• America , Global Warming , Rambles
• Comments(23)