Head Rambles

Grandad January 17th, 2012

***  This is a guest post by John  ***

Like me, I would guess that you are sick and tired of all the half truths, exaggerations, evasions and bare faced lies you hear from our politicians these days. It has become a complete waste of time to listen to any of them on the media. Sometimes you know they are lying, sometimes you suspect it and other times you are not sure. Any wonder then that we are totally in the dark as to what is actually happening around us.

This has troubled me for some time now because I really do want to hear the truth, no matter how bad that might be. And then it struck me one evening, how I could get it. Like most great ideas, it is so simple. All you have to do is listen to exactly what the politician says, and then reverse it in your own head. Just think the complete opposite of what you just heard, and that will be the truth.

Here are samples of the sort of thing I mean.

Politician:  "There is simply no alternative".

What it means:  "There’s hundreds of alternatives but we’re too lazy to consider any of them".

Politician:  "We are committed to protecting the poor and disadvantaged".

What it means:  "We are really going to shaft those bastards".

Politician:  "I’ve never worked so hard".

What it means:  "I have not done a decent day’s work in my life".

Politician:  "This Government will try everything to ………..".

What it means:  "We intend to do fuck-all about ………..".

Politician:  "And let me be completely clear about this ……..".

What it means:  "This next bit is utter bullshit".

Politician:  "It is my intention to ……..".

What it means:  "I have no intention of ………".

Politician:  "The party leader has my full support".

What it means:  "I’m plotting with others to get rid of the bastard".

Politician:  "Having carefully studied all the facts of this matter".

What it means:  "This is the first I’ve heard of it, so here’s an off-the-cuff remark".

Politician:  "I will be giving this my full attention in the future".

What it means:  "This is the last I expect to hear about this shit".

Politician:  "There will be no hospital closures in the lifetime of this Government".

What it means:  "We’ll be shutting hospitals left right & centre".

Politician:  "My strong feelings on that matter are well known".

What it means:  "I couldn’t give a flying fuck either way".

Politician:  "We want to be transparent and accountable at all times".

What it means:  "There is no way we will ever be transparent and accountable in my lifetime".

Politician:  "The people have spoken".

What it means:  "The people in Government that is".

Politician:  "We are doing everything we can".

What it means:  "We are doing absolutely nothing and won’t do anything either".

Politician:  "This is now a priority".

What it means:  "It’s even off the back burner".

Politician:  "I have dedicated my life to public service".

What it means:  "The public will serve me for the rest of my life, if I can get away with it".

So, if you listen to any of them, on radio or television, try this out. You will be horrified at how accurate it turns out to be!

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Grandad January 27th, 2011

Today has been one of those days.

Not only have I not had time to write something, but I haven’t even had the time to think about what to write.

As I am still up to my eyes in various things, I shall pass you over to a guest post.

I give you…..  John Mallon!  Ta Daaaa!

-oOo-

We are finally going to get an election, but there is a sneaking feeling, even a creeping feeling, that one lot of politicians is the same as the next and no matter who takes power, not much will change. They will say publicly for our benefit, “The people have spoken”, while quietly thinking to themselves, “And we don’t want to hear from them again for at least four more years”.

It is supposed to be a democracy where the will of the people rules. So the question is, how can the people have a direct input into the everyday decisions that directly affect their lives. The answer is stunningly simple, but I suspect it would prove highly unpopular with politicians of every hue. It is technology, or more correctly, the kind of technology that powers the Lotto.

Two to three times a week, a couple million of us get our sets of Lotto numbers keyed into the machine in our local supermarket or wherever, and a unique identity is created for that single transaction and is stored in a central database. Within a couple of hours of the draw being made, The database can tell us there has been a winner and can even tell us where the ticket was bought, when and at what time. It can track multiple games running concurrently in multiple locations. Magic, you might think, but it is simple for a computer to search millions of number sequences and match them against a single sequence, and it can do this in seconds. It was what they were originally designed to do before graphics arrived.

Imagine then, these machines just where they are. They would have a small keyboard where you type in your PPS number to authenticate who you are. The database in Dublin (or wherever), checks the number is valid, gives the OK to the machine you are standing in front of, and it flashes up the current question on screen. All this might take two seconds. The question could be anything, like “Should political expenses be vouched”, or “Do you want us to stay in the Euro”, or “Will we shut down Anglo Irish Bank” etc. The machine will have two large on-screen buttons, one for yes and one for no. Just push one to cast your vote.

The questions can be posed daily, twice a week or even weekly. They (the questions), would have a ‘go live’ time, and would become inactive after a certain set time. The PPS authentication process would ensure that the same number could not be used to vote twice on any one question.

From the citizen/voter perspective, the system is inclusive. You get to give your opinion in vote form, several times a week if you want to. You don’t have to vote on anything if you don’t want to, but you can’t say you were not asked. Multiple questions could appear on a scrollable list and as you go to each one,  would press yes or no. The software will grey out any question that your PPS number has already answered.

And the answers (results of the poll), can be determined in seconds when the question time is up. The computer would offer the Dail the total number of voters and the percentages for yes and no. For example, the speaker of the house can inform the members present that, “The people were asked if they wanted Queen Elizabeth invited on a state visit next year. 1,203,431 voted in total, with 54% in favour of the visit and 46% against”. The House, on all sides would know immediately what their voters wanted. A low poll might signal a low interest, but either way, that is valuable information for our legislators also.

But, how hard would this be to do and how much would it cost. About the same or less than it cost the Lotto to set up, and at a fraction of what the useless voting machines cost. Indeed Lotto profits could be used to fund it. I would suggest an independent group of the wiser ex-members of the Seanad would formulate the questions based on the important issues of the day. A single operator could post them on the machines, and a panel could verify the results percentages before forwarded these to the Dail. Hell, Joe Duffy was able to take a phone poll and counted 10,000 answers given in five minutes of voting.

We would then have the incredible situation where the people would be telling the Politicians what to do, on a daily basis if necessary. They would know what we think and want on the spot, while the issues are still relevant. For the first time ever, a Western Democracy would become truly inclusive.

Why not ???

John Mallon

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Grandad January 13th, 2011

Once again, we are into a Guest Spot.  Once again, Willie has put pen to paper.

Over to you Willie……….

-oOo-

My Irish grandmother had this belief that if household items came up missing, they had been stolen by the “Wee people -the Leprechauns”. Now, from reading the tourist books, I have learned that one way to piss off the Irish folk is to ask where are the leprechauns? But, please read on, and I will piss off more than just the Irish readers.

Now my dear grandmother said that if we would, at night, put sharp knives on the floor, the Wee Ones would cut their feet and stopped stealing the items. When she drilled this notion into me, she was about my age. I know realize that the “Little People” became the scapegoats for creeping forgetfulness and simple mindedness that creeps its stealthy way into my life.

Here is a list of items that the “Little Green People” regularly steal.

1. Keys
2. Wallet
3. Glasses
4. Cell phone (thank God, I leave it on so Miss Pat can call it from her phone)
5. TV remote
6. The bottle opener (this is a real problem when I face one of those brews with no twist-off top)
7. My home (coming home from the pub)
8. Words, like Miss Pat’s name or any of above items
9. Memory, for things I should remember
10. My notebook where I have written down what I need to remember
11. My pen to write down what I should remember
12. To write down what I need to remember
13. Miss Pat’s birthday and our anniversary (I really need help with this one)
14. To take Chile Dog out when her eyes cross
15. Take a pee in time
16. Change my undies after I don’t remember above item.
17. Anything else I should remember to include in this list.

Now , here is what I want to forget- SARA PALIN!

I WANT THE LITTLE PEOPLE TO SNEAK INTO ALASKA, STEAL HER, AND HIDE HER SOME WHERE IN AN UNFOUND HIDE-AWAY IN, LET’S SAY, IRELAND.

To back up my request, what follows is a selection of quotes from Palin. Need I say more?

“As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border.” — Attempting to describe her international qualifications.

“The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s ‘death panel’ so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their ‘level of productivity in society,’ whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.” –- In a message posted on Facebook about Obama’s health care plan, Aug. 7, 2009

“All of ‘em, any of ‘em that have been in front of me over all these years.” — Unable to name a single newspaper or magazine she reads, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008

“Well, let’s see. There’s ― of course in the great history of America there have been rulings that there’s never going to be absolute consensus by every American, and there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but ―” –Unable to name a Supreme Court decision she disagreed with other than Roe vs. Wade, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008

“‘Refudiate,’ ‘misunderestimate,’ ‘wee-wee’d up.’ English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!’” –a Tweet sent in response to being ridiculed for inventing the word “refudiate,” proudly mistaking her illiteracy for literary genius, July 18, 2010

“But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.” — After being asked how she would handle the current hostilities between the two Koreas, interview on Glenn Beck’s radio show, Nov. 24, 2010

“We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. … We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation.” — Speaking at a fundraiser in Greensboro, N.C., Oct. 16, 2008

“[T]hey’re in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom.” — Getting the vice president’s constitutional role wrong after being asked by a third grader what the vice president does, interview with NBC affiliate KUSA in Colorado, Oct. 21, 2008 (Watch video clip)

“Blood libel” was the term S. Palin used to describe the media commentators who questioned her use of cross-hairs on a map of Democratic lawmakers who she wanted defeated in the last national elections. (01/12/2011)

I rest my case.

Willie

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Grandad December 17th, 2010

A guest post by Willie.

-oOo-

Time has come to celebrate the annual Boston Tea Party!  It has been going on since 1777 when the upstanding citizens of Boston decided to fling perfectly good tea in the Boston Harbor.  This mild reaction to the Tea Tax seemed to piss off the Good King George and his buddies at the East India Tea Company.  Afterward all, who were these piss ants, anyway?  Can’t an honest, humble monopoly make a few hard earned bucks on on a bunch of nincompoops?  After all, taxes to help the rich out with their lifestyles doesn’t seem to be too asking much?  Those lowly colonial types just had no sense of humor.

In the short years since the First Birthday Party, there seems to be a fairly rocky relationship between the various Kings and Queens of England and the trappers, hunters, merchants, and farmers of the Colonies.  To call it a love/hate relationship would be mild indeed. The two sides have both fought wars against each other and fought wars on the same side.  Currently, there seems to be a Mexican stand-off, so to speak.

Taking a quantum leap to 2009, the New Tea Party was born in reaction to being TAXED ENOUGH ALREADY!  It seems that these good citizens also have a gripe with the way they were being taxed, or so they claimed.  Their hard-earned tax dollars were going to bail out banks, car companies, insurance giants, and whoever else could whine enough.  They have a decent point except they failed to see that the mess which caused the hemorrhaging of bucks faster than one could say “BAILOUT” was caused and created by the reckless and unchecked spending of the 8 year reign of King George W. Bush and his War of Terror.  The more recent Tea Party found a real voting crowd and manage to throw a flock of folks into the water.  History does repeat itself, sometimes.

Here is the biggest news yet.  Just three days ago, a new political party was hatched.  It’s the “NoLables” Party.  This group lays claim to the middle ground and wants no designation that it is Republican, Democrat, Independent, or Whatever.  It says it is sick and tired of the extreme political stances, claims, counterclaims, charges and bull shit that is flying back and forth.  It even launched a website which is very much needed in today’s rough and tumble world of 21st Century politics.

They do make some decent points.  But how can I call myself a “NoLabel’ when a chap asks me what am I politically?  What the hell does it mean, “NoLabel”?  It is somewhat like asking, “You know the sound of two hands clapping.  What is the sound of one hand clapping?”   I was going to the County Clerk’s office today to register as a “NoLabels” type, but I have a better idea.

I am, here and now, announcing my own political party.  (drum roll)   It is  SEA-Screwed Enough Already!  I expect millions to join me right after GD approves and publishes this announcement in his blog.  Feel free to ask about my platform via comments.    Some will whisper the dreaded word, “anarchy”.

Willie

BAIL’EM OUT!!! ???? Hell, back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada  for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it.. They failed and it closed.. Now, we are trusting the economy of our country, our banking system, our auto industry and possibly our health plans to the same nit-wits who couldn’t make money running a whore house and selling whiskey?!”

“What the Hell are we thinking?”

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