Archive for the 'Health' Category

Hypocritic Oath

Grandad March 26th, 2008

I went to the doctor this morning.

There’s nothing wrong with me, but at my age it pays to stay well in with the medical gang.

"How are you feeling," he asked.

"Fine," says I.

"Sleeping well?"

"Never better."

"Are you drinking much these days?"

"Ah! You know how it is?"

"I do indeed.  Are you still smoking the pipe?"

"Of course."

"How much do you smoke?"

"About the same as I always did.  No more. No less."

"Ah!"

"Jayzus! You’re not going to start any of this crap about giving up are you?"

"No. But…….."

"But what?  Spit it out man."

"I left my matches in the car.  Would you have a light?"

HSE solves mammogram crisis

Grandad February 6th, 2008

Head Rambles is delighted to announce that an unknown philanthropist has stepped in to provide free breast checks.

The HSE has welcomed this move as it frees up additional funds to renovate their headquarters.

All enquiries to boobs@headrambles.com

hse_solution

Read this Harney

Grandad December 12th, 2007

Nearly a year ago, I wrote about the appalling state of our health service.

What has changed since?

Actually quite a lot has happened.

A few hospitals have closed.  MRSA is rampant in the remaining hospitals. They had the mighty cock up where women who had been given the all clear had to be recalled to be told they had breast cancer.  A few more people have died.  Seventeen billion has been pumped into the system and vanished.

And Mary Harney has congratulated herself and accepted a massive pay hike.

I have been following an unfolding story for the last couple of months over at Avoiding Life One Post at a Time.  I have been reading it with mounting horror and disgust.

The story starts in October - Girl Trouble and the Irish Health System.  Note that this is October the 24th - Nearly two months ago.

We move on a couple of weeks to Health Update.  Here is a young woman who urgently need tests and so far has gotten nowhere.

By December the 1st she is Still Waiting.  At this stage she still hasn’t even got an appointment.

By yesterday [December the 11th] she says There seems to be a bit of interest…  But not from the health service.

Today she writes I am Overwhelmed…  She is overwhelmed by the response from the blogging community; not the health service.

Harney keeps saying that there is no crisis.  She keeps blaming the Health Services Executive.  The HSE blames the consultants.  The consultants blame lack of funds and bad management.

The health service is in a state of crisis.  It used to work.  It was inefficient, but it worked.  Harney has ripped it asunder, and now it hardly works at all.  As "Minister for Health" she is ultimately responsible for the state of the health service, whether she likes it or not.  If she were running a business in this manner, she would have been fired years ago.  She is a disgrace to herself, her country and her gender.

I will leave this rant by quoting a couple of extracts from the blog..

"…..I am still waiting for an appointment with the breast people. I’m still bleeding and still have some other stuff going on. No one cares."

"If Mary Harney found a lump in her breast would she be waiting this long? I think not.  I am angry and frustrated and I don’t know where to go from here.   Shit…"

I’ve been tagged again

Grandad November 11th, 2007

Our K8 has come up with a new meme.

And, bless her little cotton socks, she has passed it on to me.

She wants me to write a post that uses every tag. It’s all very well for her - she only has a few. I have loads. The cow!

Now I may be getting old but I find these difficult. I had a hard days blogging yesterday, as I had a good rant on a podcast to America. That was after I did my post on Cully and Sully.

So today I went for a ramble around the garden, trying to think of a topic. No go. There was no inspiration around the house either, and I’m damned if I’m going around the village or around the town for something so trivial.

Back in the 70’s life was a lot simpler. There were no computers or Internet, or even television so there were no memes. I had no irritating daughter in the family either. We found our pleasures in simple things. I remember learning to drive so we could go on holidays touring in the West, with no worries about flying and Global Warming. We had such simple sports as children in times past, like watching spiders spin their webs, and the designs they’d make. We’d go for rambles through the woods and have picnics of tea and spam sandwiches. We were a lot healthier for it.

Nowadays, work is the new religion and people have lost the use of their imagination. People only get worked up over celebrities and smoking out corrupt politicians. They panic over property prices and have lost sight of the soul of life.

No.

I can’t think of anything.

I elect not to do it.

I’m going to file this under Uncatagorised.

Maybe Sixty should have a bash at this?

Or how about Kirk at Just Thinkin’? I haven’t tagged him before.

And it’s a while since I annoyed Grannymar!!

tag-award

F*cking memes….

Private or Public?

Grandad November 8th, 2007

To my regular readers - I apologise for hitting the same topic twice in succession.

I just want to say this bit and then hopefully go onto something more lively.

My Dearest Mary Harney,

I would like to tell you the story of two patients.

Patient A went into hospital for some tests a couple of weeks ago. The tests threw up some anomalies that concerned the doctor, so the doctor personally brought Patient A across for blood tests, a CT scan and an MRI scan. The doctor then waited for the results which thankfully were clear. Patient A went home after five hours.

Patient B has a spinal problem. Patient B collapsed and was brought by ambulance to hospital where they were promptly discharged with a prescription for Valium. Patient B collapsed again a week later, in severe agony, and was brought straight to hospital. Patient B arrived at the hospital at 5.30pm and was placed in a wheelchair. At 2.30am [yes - nine hours later], patient B was x-rayed. The doctors refused to give out the results of the x-ray as there was confusion as to whether Patient B was Emergency or Elective, and they wouldn’t give results because of protocols. Still in severe pain and barely able to move, Patient B leaves the hospital in total frustration at 8am, having received no treatment whatsoever.

Patient A was on VHI Plan D and went to the Beacon Clinic.
Patient B was on VHI Plan B and went to Tallaght Hospital were they were treated as a public patient.

Mary, my love.. You promise a bright future for the Health Service. You talk about great things. You talk about the massive increases in budgets for the Health System. The HSE is to solve all the problems.

Mary, my dear.. You have been in the job for three years. Nothing has been done. The system is in melt down. People are literally dying because they are relying on you. You have failed, and you have failed miserably.

Mary, my petal.. If you were an employee, you would have been sacked years ago for gross incompetence, wasting company resources, and generally being a waste of space.

I am a peaceful bloke. I have never wished harm on anyone before. But……..

I sincerely hope that you come down with a dose of cancer or syphilis or something nasty, and that through a mix-up, you get treated as an ordinary person off the street. I hope you have to wait for hours to be treated, while in agony. I hope you are misdiagnosed and sent home. I hope you have to plead for treatment, and get stuck with the drunks and the drug addicts while you are ignored. I hope the pain is severe.

Maybe then, you will realise how miserably you have failed.

Maybe then you will have the decency and humanity to resign and fuck off into obscurity.

Lots of love,

Grandad

Back to the future

Grandad November 6th, 2007

It has happened again.

I had a wee nap in my armchair yesterday. Actually, it turned into quite a nice sleep.

When I awoke, I felt a bit stiff in the back.

Bugger. I know the signs. I had to take things very carefully. But, sure enough, a couple of hours later, the back went. Just like that. I wasn’t doing anything at the time [just easing myself into a chair], but the pain shot up my spine and down again.

bad-back.gif

It has happened quite a few times before. That’s what comes of being tall and thin. It’s hereditary, so I blame my parents.

One of the times it went was at Christmas, several years ago. I was out of work for a couple of weeks after, which didn’t please the boss. The following Christmas, I broke three ribs [it was an incident with a frying pan, I think]. That was really painful, and I was out of work for six weeks. The Christmas after that, I was carrying a big box downstairs and slipped. I sat on my foot and pulled a few ligaments or something. I was out of work for a few weeks with that too.

The problem was that on three consecutive Christmas holidays, I wrecked myself, and the boss didn’t believe in that kind of coincidence. He thought I was swinging the lead, and it took loads of letters and x-rays to convince him otherwise. Bastard.

So now I am walking around like someone has a gun in my back. And I have to go to a function tonight, where they are threatening to film me.

Hah!

That should be fun.

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