Archive for the 'Health' Category

Free will

February 6th, 2012

I cannot understand this modern obsession with health.

Every day the papers carry some story, each one more ridiculous that the last claiming that picking your nose causes knee cancer or that using a telescope will cause your eyes to drop out.  Some claims are so patently absurd that you have to laugh, but they are still printed in that air of frenzy that would have you believe they have discovered the meaning of life.

Why?

What is the point of all this garbage?

In an ideal world, the WHO or whatever would inform us that Professor Fred has discovered a possible link between sugar and obesity, or that the University of Narnia thinks cigarettes may be bad for you, and they would then leave us to make our own decisions.  After all, it’s my body, my health and my life.  That’s called free will.

One of the latest bits of blindingly useless bits of information to emerge is that Ireland is to have a 72% increase in cancers by 2030.  Apparently Bulgaria is the place to be with a 2.2% increase.  What use is this information?  Instead of wittering on about future trends, why don’t they just devote their time to finding cures?

Why has the WHO published these figures?  What possible purpose can they serve except to cause depression amongst the gullible few who actually believe the claptrap?  Are we all supposed to suddenly change our lifestyles?  Are we all supposed to switch from high sugar to sugar free?  On second thoughts, sugar will kill you and so will sugar free, so you can’t win there.  It can serve no purpose whatsoever except to justify some grossly inflated salary somewhere.

Of course in the last few years, governments have taken it upon themselves to force us to live their lifestyle of choice.  Smokers have taken the brunt of the greatest “denormalisation” programme since Hitler decided he didn’t like Jews, and now they are turning their attention to drinkers and eaters.  They won’t be happy until we are all eating government regulated food, drinking government approved drink and exercising following an exercise regime laid down by… [you’ve guessed it] government.  Even then, people are still going to fall ill and die so what will they have actually achieved, apart from making society miserable?

Possibly the last paragraph in the WHO statement is the most telling -

“We need to urgently look at introducing fat and sugar taxes and how these unhealthy foods are promoted, and even greater restrictions on the advertising and sale of tobacco”

So having failed to “educate” us, they want reams of further government control on how we live our lives.  [Though I would love to know how they intend to further restrict tobacco advertising here in Ireland – the only places where you ever see any sight or mention of tobacco is in the breathless press releases by ASH and on the little signs in tobacconists about not selling tobacco to under 21s.]

I just cannot see the point to it all.

The Stepford Drinkers

January 9th, 2012

The Sunday Times yesterday had a front page headline.

“Government plans to ban cheap booze”

I’d link to it but I can’t find an on-line version.  I did a search using the above words and got a mere 29 million results and I ain’t gonna plough through that lot.  It seems to be a popular concept?

So Róisín Shortarse, our Junior Health Minister, reckons she is going to solve Ireland’s “drinking problem” by raising prices?

You really have to admire these bozos for their consistency.  The answer to any problem is to raise prices.  And then they whinge about Ireland being uncompetitive? 

There was a repeated reference in the article to “slabs” of beer.  I presume this refers to those carry-out trays of Budweiser and the like that you see in supermarkets?  Now Budweiser is nothing short of unadulterated horses’ piss, and to charge people extra for drinking it seems a tad cruel.  Generally the only people who drink it anyway are the Skobies.  Seeing as they are all unemployed then it strikes me as a good idea to have them semi-inebriated at all times as it keeps them quiet.

By sheer coincidence [?] I see there is an article in today’s Irish Times –

MP advise two alcohol-free days a week

Ignoring the painful grammatical error of mixing the singular with the plural, my first thought here is that all the UK’s MPs must be qualified doctors.  Why else would they [or he?] be giving medical advice?  And are the Great Unwashed going to be so impressed with this that they will forgo their Tuesday and Thursday slots down the pub?  I doubt it.

I really am getting very tired of these wankers deciding what’s good for us and trying to manipulate us into their way of thinking.  I admit that alcohol consumption is a major problem BUT it is a small group that is causing that problem.  Why the flying fuck can’t they target that small group, if they are so fucking worried?  Why do the rest of us have to suffer from their little bright ideas?  There are tons of laws that already exist to deal with unruly drunkards so why the fuck can’t they use those?

I really am getting pissed off with the Righteous deciding what is good for us and trying to engineer our lives to fit their vision of the ideal world.

I wish they would all just go and fuck themselves sideways.

In the meantime, I’m off for my couple of afternoon pints.

Insane

December 16th, 2011

Back when I was a lad, kids were normal.

Like normal kids we went about our business beating the crap out of each other, robbing orchards, having fun and… well… just being normal.

If we were bold, we got a belt around the ear.  If we stared out of the classroom window we got shouted at.  If we argued, we went without supper. 

Nowadays it’s different.  If a child does anything outside the Enid Blyton model of ideal childhood then there must be something wrong.  The child must have a mental disorder.  Parents can now proudly announce that their little brat has ADHD or ADD and let him continue to run rampage in society.  There is no point in discipline because he has a “disorder”.  If a neighbours kid comes into my garden and sets fire to the dog, I have to pat him on the head and send him home with some sweets because he is suffering from HND or Hatred of Neighbours Disorder.

Parents love this new system because it relieves them of all responsibility.  If your child is a spoiled, disobedient, nasty tempered little fuck, there is no point in correcting him because he can’t help it – he is mentally ill.

Even worse, these unruly, undisciplined little brats are being medicated instead of getting the resounding belt they deserve.  There is a kind of poetic justice there, as parents drug their kids as soon as they can walk, and then moan later in life when the kids start taking their own class of drugs.  What’s wrong with heroin when you have been fed Valium all your life?  It’s just a different drug?

I came across a new one yesterday.

ODD.

Apparently ODD is characterised by questioning authority, negativity, defiance, argumentativeness, and being easily annoyed.

That’s not a mental illness.

That’s a blogger in the making.

The Seven Steps

October 20th, 2011

Those bastards in the Department of Health are at it again.

Their latest shimmy is to propose a tax on sugary drinks.

What I find so boring about this is its predictability.

Step 1: Hold an advertising campaign to frighten the bejeezus out of everyone.

Step 2: Start talking about epidemics.

Step 3: Mention [frequently] heart attacks and cancer.

Step 4: Turn the rest of the population against the proposed victims

Step 5: Introduce a law which only affects a tiny minority.

Step 6: Extend the laws one step at a time until it affects virtually everybody.

Step 7: Move on to the next unfortunate batch of victims.

Step one has already kicked in.  We are being subjected to a whingey advertising campaign that suggests that we are too fat if our waist measurement is above a particular figure.  This is patent bollox because there is no mention of height.  A three foot midget with a waist of 36” may have a problem, but a seven foot bloke would be positively svelte.  That doesn’t matter to them though as it is not the facts they are promoting – it’s the fear.  They want us to self diagnose ourselves as being obese, based on an arbitrary number.

Incidentally, I have noticed the same advertisement appearing on the foreign TV channels [Channel 4 or ITV], so this is not an Irish issue.  Oh no.  This is the bastards in Brussels at work again.

Step two has been going on for a while too.  Never talk about widespread obesity when you can talk about an epidemic.  The word ‘epidemic’ conjures up images of carts of bodies being wheeled through the streets while we all huddle under our beds in fear.  The fact that there is no ‘epidemic’ [obesity is on the decline] and that the word is defined as “The occurrence of more cases of a disease than would be expected in a community or region during a given time period” where an excess of body fat can hardly be classed as a disease, is apparently irrelevant.

Step three is just gaining momentum here.  Up ‘til now only smoking caused heart attacks and cancer.  Now they are including obesity and alcohol.  Suddenly smoking is not the unique killer they claimed it was, and now everyone is under threat.

Step four is the really clever one.  They know damn well that the majority don’t give a flying fuck about obese people, so they have to get everyone on board to ‘denormalise’ the concept of a spreading waistline.  Here they introduce the concept of ‘second hand obesity’, no matter how ludicrous that concept is.  They are already producing ‘studies’ which ‘prove’ that obesity is somehow communicable.  They want us to fear the overweight in order to have us clamouring for legislation.

Step five is now on the table.  Let’s tax sugar.  Fair enough you might say [if you’re a fucking sheep], but next it will be fats, then salt, then spices, then a whole clatter of things until tofu flavoured with vitamin pills and health food supplements is the only untaxed food left.  By then though, it’s too late as the gubmint can’t backtrack – it would be ‘giving out the wrong signals’.

Step six and seven have yet to happen, but they are coming down the line.  Mark my words.

How do I know all this?

Simple.

Ask any smoker.

No safe level of health

October 3rd, 2011

You have to laugh.

Or cry.

I came across a snippet the other day.  Apparently our Department of Health [hah! If ever there was an ironic title….] has decided that Cheddar Cheese is a lethal substance.  This vile food is to be banned from our television screens until after the watershed.  Having spent years advertising the stuff as an excellent source of protein and even giving it away free as a gesture of benevolence they have now decided that this evil muck is dangerous.  So dangerous, in fact that it’s worse for the health than Diet Coke. 

Then I hear that the National Substance Misuse Strategy Steering Group [Fuck!!  What a great title!] wants all drink company sponsorship to cease for arts events.

Things can’t get much better can they?

They are really getting the old ball rolling on both the alcohol and the obesity fronts.  Advertising is always the first salvo.  Then we’ll have second-hand obesity and second-hand alcoholism.  Maybe a few third-hands?

Next we’ll be hearing that there is no safe level of alcohol.

Oh, wait.

The WHO have already said it.

Yes.  It’s there.  Second paragraph under “The harm done by alcohol”.  First there was no safe level of nicotine, now there is no safe level of alcohol.  Is there anything with a safe level?

So all you people who just shrugged when the smoking ban came in had better watch out.

Sooner or later it will be your turn.

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